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I wrote about That Dating Graph and the existential angst of coupling in an age of radical individualism theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/… 
Two thoughts.
1. As the influence of friends/family has melted away, the burden of finding a partner has been swallowed whole by the individual—at the very moment that expectations of our partners are skyrocketing.
1. As the influence of friends/family has melted away, the burden of finding a partner has been swallowed whole by the individual—at the very moment that expectations of our partners are skyrocketing.
2. In online dating's defense, maybe moms, friends, and churches have been underserving us for centuries.
Here's that dating graph for same-sex couples.
THIS is what it looks like when a tech frees individuals from the biases, ignorance, and limitations of old networks.
Here's that dating graph for same-sex couples.
THIS is what it looks like when a tech frees individuals from the biases, ignorance, and limitations of old networks.
In the end, this is true of the whole Internet.
For better and for worse, it is deeply powerful as a matching tool for minorities—political, social, cultural, sexual—to find each other, talk to each other, draw power, indignation, and/or love from the thrill of the connection.
For better and for worse, it is deeply powerful as a matching tool for minorities—political, social, cultural, sexual—to find each other, talk to each other, draw power, indignation, and/or love from the thrill of the connection.
3. A common refrain: But isn't online dating DESTROYING MARRIAGE?
Stanford prof Michael Rosenfeld's reply: Marriage rates have declined steadily for years (see Stevenson/Wolfers graph), so at most online dating is very mildly accelerating a pre-existing trend.
Stanford prof Michael Rosenfeld's reply: Marriage rates have declined steadily for years (see Stevenson/Wolfers graph), so at most online dating is very mildly accelerating a pre-existing trend.
The other trend in modern marriage is delay, especially for college-grad couples.
Maybe online dating is extending one's single years. But it's not obvious that would be a bad thing.
- divorce rate for ages under 23: 58%
- divorce rate for ages 29-34: 36%
Maybe online dating is extending one's single years. But it's not obvious that would be a bad thing.
- divorce rate for ages under 23: 58%
- divorce rate for ages 29-34: 36%
In conclusion:
Individuals today are, more than ever, charged with the independent full-service construction of their career, faith, love, and identity. The decline of family-mediated dating/rise of online matchmaking might feed this existential burden. But it didn't create it.
Individuals today are, more than ever, charged with the independent full-service construction of their career, faith, love, and identity. The decline of family-mediated dating/rise of online matchmaking might feed this existential burden. But it didn't create it.
