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Next to me in this bar a very drunk woman is making FIRM plans to start waking up at 5:30 every morning, in case you wondered what a prologue to regret sounds like
DONT worry guys she just said she's got some "herbal potassium" that'll make waking up at 5:30 tomorrow a snap
My shameless eavesdropping has paid off
Potassium lady is on a date with a blandly awful dude and, with the impossible grace of the inebriated, she just turned a shitty date into a JOB INTERVIEW
Potassium lady is on a date with a blandly awful dude and, with the impossible grace of the inebriated, she just turned a shitty date into a JOB INTERVIEW
She was complaining about her awful current job and the guy was like "oh I could use someone like you to work at my company in more of a management role" and, with 0 hesitation, she said "let me tell you about my excel skills"
Her: What kind of salary would you offer me?
Him: oh I mean we could talk about that later if you--
Her: that means you're planning to lowball me. I'm worth a high hourly rate and I bring marketing experience to the table
Him: oh I mean we could talk about that later if you--
Her: that means you're planning to lowball me. I'm worth a high hourly rate and I bring marketing experience to the table
This guy keeps trying to buy tequila shots for the bartender and this woman is setting up a meeting so he can make her a formal job offer. She HAS HIS BUSINESS CARD
He just mumbled "I guess I should make a firm commitment to a number" and she shouted YES, THAT'S WHAT I NEED FROM YOU NEIL
I'm obsessed with her, she is slurring her words while laying down her success rates on past client-facing projects
"I literally have all of what you're looking for in an employee and you have some of what I'm looking for in an employer. No I dont want another shot, I want transparent management structure"
She is asking him about compliance and growth opportunities. He is trying to flag the bartender but he has spent all night being so rude to them that they're ACTIVELY ignoring him. He isn't going to get to leave until she has an offer letter
AKAHDGSJAMAHD
"I'M 26 RIGHT NOW. BY THE TIME I'M 30 I WANT TO BE RUNNING YOUR COMPANY"
"I'M 26 RIGHT NOW. BY THE TIME I'M 30 I WANT TO BE RUNNING YOUR COMPANY"
She is literally clapping at him like
I 👏 am 👏 the person 👏 for 👏 this 👏 job
SHE IS THO, FUCKING HIRE HER
I 👏 am 👏 the person 👏 for 👏 this 👏 job
SHE IS THO, FUCKING HIRE HER
Him: I'm ordering another shot
Her: to celebrate the job offer?
Her: to celebrate the job offer?
Oh my god oh my god oh my god
He just turned to me and said "are we being too loud?"
I said no because I'm having the time of my life
And then she slung an arm over his shoulder, leaned across him, and said
HE'S MY BOSS
He just turned to me and said "are we being too loud?"
I said no because I'm having the time of my life
And then she slung an arm over his shoulder, leaned across him, and said
HE'S MY BOSS
For the record I am a fucking comrade and I said "oh wow! Lucky you, she seems like a brilliant employee, I hope you're paying her what she deserves"
Y'all he said "absolutely, yes, I'm lucky to be able to recruit her"
