Thread by @HollyStallcup

Friends with mental illness we aren't going to be able to make sense of @JarridWilson's death. You and I know the most horrific part of our diseases is that they don't make sense. We won't be able to read enough articles or tributes to feel less shattered, scared or despairing.

@JarridWilson What we can do is sign-off from this space, from the stream of words and reminders that our diseases are so rarely that far off.

We can text a friend and tell them how we are feeling.

We can pour a glass of water and eat dinner.

We can run a bath and go to bed early.

@JarridWilson We can text our therapist for an extra appointment and ask friends to help pay for it.

We can call in sick to work tomorrow or plan a social activity to get out of the house.

We can watch a comforting tv show or get lost in a fictional story.

@JarridWilson We can show up just for the next hour and then the hour after that and the hour after that.

We can care for ourselves and then come back to sharing our stories and advocating and caring for those in the thick of the fight.

@JarridWilson If you are doing well in your journey, be gentle with yourself.

If you are on the edge, be gentle with yourself.

If you are on the up and down roller coaster, be gentle with yourself.

And in any stage of this battle for some healing reach out. Just the one text.

@JarridWilson It is ok to be scared. It is ok for this news to make you feel fragile. And I'll say the thing, so you know you aren't alone:

"If such an important healer can die from this disease what is keeping it from stealing me away in the middle of the night?"

@JarridWilson If you have been there you know, you know how quick the thoughts come, how hard you try to send the text, how much you try to escape out of your mind betraying you and how crushingly unbearable the pain is.

@JarridWilson So this news, the suddenness, the disorienting nature of someone being here ministering to you one day and gone the next, to the thing we are all fighting together, it is scary, because it triggers in us the reminder that our brains can be suddenly or slowly sick and unreliable.

@JarridWilson A friend last night said this, "You'll have to trust us and not your brain."

If you are a liar, at least for a time, you lose my trust.

Depression is a liar, my mentally ill brain is a liar, so no trust for you brain.

My people they are trustworthy. So I listen to them.

@JarridWilson My friends say they are staying. Your people aren't leaving either. The lonely feeling is a real feeling, but it is not a real truth.

My friends say they aren't mad at me for being sick. Your people aren't mad at you either. We are not a disappointment to them.

@JarridWilson My friends say we don't have to fix it all today. One day at a time. That is true for you too.

My friends say they believe me. And I believe you. Invisible diseases are diseases, illnesses, sicknesses, broken bodies and brains.

@JarridWilson My friends say I am loved now not when I feel better. You are loved now. Right now. Right wherever your sick brain finds you.

My friends say I am to get better for myself not for them, because I am worthy of healing. You are too. You don't deserve to feel like this.

@JarridWilson So send the one text. Right now. Even if it just says,

"Help."

Be brutally honest. Say all the things that feel too shameful or crazy to say. However you are feeling right now. It's ok. Your friend wants to know.

Your brain may be lying, but you can trust your people.

@JarridWilson So you have finished this thread. Time to sign off, pick one self-care tool and rest gently in the arms of Jesus, who Jarrid drew so many people to.

And just a note to say I am ok and being cared for, so you take care of your people, mine have me.