Thread by @vincentdonofrio

1) Let me just say something about monkeys and their ability to scare the SH*T out of me.
There used to be a monkey petting place in florida when I was a child. "Monkey world" "Monkey jungle" something like that.

2) It was not a fun place however i was taken their many times. Held hostage by whoever of the other children wanted to go there, whoever of the adults thought it was good idea, and the supposed fraudulent uniqueness of this place.

3) A place that I thought of as a horrible place, a torture chamber of sorts.
It was not the torturing of the monkeys(although looking back now I'm sure it wasn't the monkeys first choice when it came to a place to "hang" so to speak). But it was severe torture for me.

4) The amounts of monkey poo everywhere was unbearable. We walked through the poo, on the poo, in the poo for the whole visit. At times it squirted down upon the visitors. Some people laughed and others cried. All I thought was "what kind of crazy joint is this?" "Why am I here?”

5) The opportunity to feed the monkeys was just insane. Clearly a insane idea.
You never really fed them you just let them grab food from you. Rip it from your hands or body. Steal food from you and run away screaming as if you tried to harm them.

6) Liars basically. Beastly liars all of them.
I will never forget all the different sizes of them swinging in trees. Hiding in the trees. Sticking their faces out from behind branches and spitting while they yell at us below, these monkeys.

7) The group I was with would want to eat lunch there
“Here?" I would say to myself. "Here?" I would say. Amongst these dirty animals. In this cage where food and monkey sh*t was slung around like cash in a casino.
All the monkey faces staring and screaming at us.

8) Monkey faces that resembled something between Teddy Roosevelt and Mo from the three stooges.
There was a outdoor food area. I was not thirsty. I was not hungry.

9) You would of had to hold me down and force food or drink into me if you wanted me to eat in that disgusting horrible torture chamber of a tourist/monkey trap.
The screams changed my life.

10) I was to measure screams and the meaning of those screams from then on by the high bar those monkeys set in that place. The sound changed in volume according to the size of the animal.

11) As I was being walked out of the establishment I remember those different sizes of those filthy animals and that all of them screamed constantly non stop.

12) I remember leaving there and feeling them over the top of me, around me, everywhere and these screams, these screams from high pitched to guttural loud rolling howls.

13) Feeling this guttural sound hitting me on my back vibrating through my ears and then my face as I left and the unbelievable relief I felt from finally being out of that god forsaken monkey place.

14) I remember it like it was yesterday.
Later in life I was working in Rio, Brazil a wonderful city.
The people are such good people. Something I will never forget.
It was very early morning and the sun was just coming up for the day.

15) My driver was waiting for me.
As he did every work day morning.
I was out of cash so I asked him to wait a few as I proceeded to the ATM machine which was on the street only a block from my hotel. It was located in this area shaded by these huge beautiful trees.

16) As I received my cash from the machines slot. I felt a tug on my belt from behind. A uninvited tug on my body.
I swung my right arm around and felt contact as I followed through.

17) And as I turned I see a two foot monkey with that face. The face of Mo from the three stooges sliding with a scraping sound down the side walk. And screaming, then rising up on its hind legs sticking its stomach out at me and screaming with its mouth wide open.

18) This scream and the horrid event as a whole moved me quickly toward my driver and into my vehicle with the driver laughing at what had just happened and most likely the look on my face and the loss of color in my complexion.

19) The driver laughing a belly laugh as we pulled away and one block, two blocks and three behind us now I could still hear this monkey screaming and the vision of monkey spit peppering the side walk running in my mind.

20) Every once and a while I tell this story when the subject of monkeys come up. And i always start the story with these words.
Let me just say something about monkeys and their ability to scare the sh*t out of me.
Fin.