,
39 tweets,
8 min read
Read on Twitter
I was once molested in a bus by a middle aged “upper class” man. The first thing the IO asked me was “What were you wearing?” He walked away free with a warning and I walked away traumatised. Up to today, I still freeze when I smell his perfume in my surroundings. I was 14.
Since this is garnering more attention, here’s the full story: so I was omw home from sch in this kind of bus. I was sitting directly before the extension (circled) & those seats were extremely squeezey & small & I was small so those used to be where I’d always sit in these buses 
So the bus stops at the interchange & in comes this big burly pakistani-looking guy. He was one of the first few to enter the bus & out of all the seats, he chose to sit next to me. So naturally when he sat, bc of the position of the seats, there was barely any space left for me
Our knees were touching. So I scooted in further to allow some space between us. He scooted in as well. I didn’t think much of it, I just thought he didn’t have enough space. So the bus moves off, and I feel this tingling sensation of the side of my left thigh. I look down and
I see him quickly putting his right hand on his lap. I thought nothing of it, thought maybe it was an accident. So I tried to make some more space. Few mins goes by and again, I feel the tingling sensation. I kept quiet. I stayed still. And I felt it. I felt his fingers running
Up and down the side of my thigh slowly. I was scared, my heart was pumping. At this point, I didn’t bother looking at him. I literally jammed myself up against the window and made as much space between us as I could. My head was literally pressing against the window
He stopped when I moved in. Then came the final straw. He shifted in, & I felt it again. But this time, he grabbed the side of my outer thigh & squeezed it. Firmly. I looked down & I clearly see his hand facing outward towards my thigh and his palm flat against it, still grabbing
I remember it all happening so fast. I looked up and his face was looking straight ahead, as if this wasn’t happening. As if he wasn’t touching me. I didn’t know what to do but I immediately went “excuse me” and motioned that I was getting out of the seat
He let go & quickly shifted, giving me way. I stood in the middle of the front section of the bus, where there’s a standing area in between the seats. I was panicking. I was so close to tears. And then I hear his voice, loud and clear, talking on the phone as if nothing happened
Now see, looking back, this is what pisses me off. I WAS NOT EDUCATED ON THIS. I WAS NOT EDUCATED ON WHAT I COULD DO. WHAT I SHOULD DO. There wasn’t these kinds of talks in school back then. I didn’t know that if I had told the bus driver back then, he would’ve stopped the bus &
Locked the doors and called the police. I didn’t know. And I didn’t ask for help for anyone. I didn’t approach anyone. I just froze. I remember I wanted to call my dad but I didn’t have any credit in my phone left. I remember thinking that if I called the police, he could just go
Down the bus any minute and nothing would’ve been done. So I stood where I could see him clearly. And I studied his face. Every inch of him. His hair was thin, combed to the back. He had wrinkly cheeks, a mole on the upper left lip. He was wearing a black polo shirt with a red
Ralph Lauren logo on his left chest. He was carrying a grey bag pack and was wearing smart pants. I remembered everything and I made sure I didn’t forget. While I was staring, he continued talking loudly on the phone, acting as if he doesn’t know that I’m staring at him
And then he finally got down the bus. Coincidentally, the stop he went down at was one stop before mine & the bus stopped at the traffic light after he went down. So I watched him walk into this mini mart place where there was coffee shops and other kind of shops (Woodlands Mart)
It was really close to my house. 5 mins walk. So when my stop came, I ran home and the moment I reached my front door, tears were alrdy streaming down my face and the first thing I told my dad was “can you beat up someone for me??” NO JOKE GUYS HAHAHAHAHA REALLY
I told my dad I got molested, no questions asked and we went to Woodlands Mart to hunt the fucker down. We walked around for at least 10 mins and we were giving up, thinking he already went off. Right when we were about to make our way back, here comes the fucker, walking
straight towards us. I knew immediately it was him but I had to make sure. I remember checking off my list mentally. Hair? Check. Mole? Check. Shirt? Check. Bag? Check. And i froze. I told my dad “that’s him. 100%.” And then the fucker looked up, and froze when he saw me.
He IMMEDIATELY turned right and went into the first shop he saw. A 4D shop. So we waited outside. After 5 mins of waiting, my dad asked me if I was really sure and I confirmed it. So my dad went in and my dad said he was just holding a piece of lottery paper
Acting as if he was buying but his hands were shaking. So my dad approached him and asked him if he was done. My dad said he wanted to talk to him outside. The fucker refused to so my dad pulled him out of the store by his bag pack
My dad brought him to me and asked me again if this was really him. It was. So my dad asked the fucker “did you molest my daughter?” And the moment he said no, INSTANTLY, my dad slapped him. It became a cycle. My dad asked, he denied, got slapped
Those slaps turned into punches & next thing you know MY DAD IS 👏🏽 WHOOPING 👏🏽 THIS 👏🏽 FUCKERS 👏🏽 ASS 👏🏽 I don’t condone violence but I will say that he deserved every part of that beating. Crowds gathered, my dads friends came (he called them prior) and they started beating him
I had to intervene and stop my dad from killing this fucker ok bc my dad was literally seeing red. By the end of the beating the fucker was coughing blood and lying down on the ground and blood was everywhere and presumably, someone in the crowd called the police bc the police
Did show up after and I was more concerned about my dad going to jail lmao. So yep fast forward, we were both sitting in the IO office, giving our statements and accounts of what happened which was when the IO raised the question on my clothing
For those wondering what I was wearing: it was after ACES Day and I was in my school’s PE Shirt & FBT shorts. IO questioned me as to why I was wearing fbt shorts & not the proper school PE shorts. I just got touched inappropriately and you’re concerned about my shorts??? Really??
And of course my dad had my back 100%. I could be naked sitting beside you and it still doesn’t give you the right to touch any part of my body AT ALL.
Also while my dad and I were in the IO’s office, my dad asked what’s happening to the fucker now and the IO said that he’s getting treatment & waiting on his family members & my dad said “I fucked his face up bad I don’t think even his mum will recognise him” SJSJSKSBJSKS YALL
So yeah the case was processed and there was also the chance that my dad could get charged for assaulting as well.
But the verdict came and the IO said this “he’ll be free to walk with a warning and as for you (my dad), despite the assault you will also be free to walk but not before a warning. Fair enough.” FAIR ENOUGH?????? He got beaten up and therefore justice is served?????
If that is how you determine if justice is served THEN WHY THE FUCK DO WE HAVE A WHOLE LEGAL SYSTEM FOR????? WHY THE FUCK DO WE HAVE LAWS FOR. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN FAIR ENOUGH???
My dad and I were fucking livid but there was really nothing else we could do. Though I do feel good that he did get beaten up and his face messed up, that doesn’t mean that it’ll stop him from not doing it again to the next girl he sees
And since then, I’ve always been vocal about this. What to do when you’re in these kind of situations. What you can do. What you should do. It’s been 9 years since it happened and I do see changes. More posters on molest, more conversation and outrage on social media etc
But is that enough?? Are we educating the younger generation about this properly?? Are we having talks in schools?? Posters and hashtags are SIMPLY. NOT. ENOUGH. But Singapore is comfortable with these posters simply bc they’re not ready to have an open conversation on this
I once had a presentation (open topic) done in school back in ITE on statistics of outrage of modesty, sexual harassment, molest and rape in Singapore. I fulfilled every part of the criteria needed for both the report and presentation.
The entire time I was doing my presentation, my lecturer looked so so SO damn uncomfortable & squeamy. When I was done & it was the questions part of my presentation, my lecturer simply said “good presentation but I find it inappropriate to discuss this for a school project” 🙃
So Singapore, don’t tell me we’re a nation that’s thriving and moving forward when y’all refuse to speak on “sensitive” or “inappropriate” matters and y’all will only start doing shit when it sparks outrage.
PSA: if you didn’t know, if you get molested on the bus, tell the bus captain. If you can’t, try your best to voice out to anyone. Any stranger. In this day and age, I’m confident that people are more willing to help now than they were back then.
The bus captain WILL stop the bus and not allow ANY passengers on or off the bus. And PLEASE do not have the mindset of “oh it’ll delay everyone’s time. It’ll be an inconvenience to others” NO. YOU MATTER MORE THAN ANYONE OR ANYTHING. You put yourself first, PLEASE.
Same thing if you’re in a train, there’s those buttons to speak to the captain. Do the same thing. If I’m not wrong, they’ll inform the staffs of the incoming station and proceed from there. In this day and age, make use of your phones. Take pictures. Videos. Anything to capture
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY: this applies to both GUYS AND GIRLS. Molest, Sexual harassment, rape can happen to ANYONE. Regardless of your gender. If you are afraid and you think no one will stand for you, I’ll say now that I’ll stand for you and with you. I got you ✊🏽💜
