The point is, probably mid-seventies, this guy is clearly no one to mess with. If some punks hassled him, I would bet all my life savings on this older dude, and that he'd be back to finish his steak and never mention it. 15/
Here's where I died laughing, guys...19/
Every single word he has said to this point was masculine, economical, and to the point. He is every farmer, every fisherman, every man who doesn't have time for nonsense.
20/
And the whole world lurches on its axis. I can't believe I heard it correctly. My husband and I both just STARED at each other.
21/
"I have to go tinkle."
22/
23/
"I have to go tinkle."
HAHAHAHAHAHA
24/
BUT HOLY GOD BRUCE WILLIS'S TOUGH GUY DAD HAD TO DO A WEE.
25/
...and the tinkle voice was ABSOLUTELY presented in the voice of a middle-school girl passing a note in gym class.
26/
TINKLE WAITS FOR NO MAN NOR BEAST.
27/
TINKLE TINKLE LITTLE STAR
I'M GOING TO HIT A TREE WITH MY CAR
28/
THUG (held over the Gotham streets): Who ARE you?
BATMAN: I'm BATMAN.
BATMAN (sweetly): I've got to tinkle.
COOL HAND LUKE (exhausted): Don't hit me no more, boss.
COOL HAND LUKE (suddenly): I've got to tinkle.
HOLY SHIT, NOW I ACTUALLY HAVE TO TINKLE.
You can be King of the moon, or Queen of France
Nothing's as funny as the stuff in your pants
Whether superspy or presidential nominee
All the world over, all the people got to pee
Now excuse me, I have...er...a phone call.
Now he says, "Aaayyy, it's COOL to tinkle!
And Angela Lansbury adds this new wrinkle
'I'll solve this murder but I got to go tinkle.'
At a Dean Martin roast he would often drinkle
And collapse on the floor laying in his own tinkle
YOU PEOPLE ARE BAD INFLUENCE!
(Storms off, tinkling)