Thread by @jackmjenkins

PSA: Tonight, I try something new.

I am taking an overnight Amtrak train (to Georgia, which I didn’t realize until just now).

I did not get a sleeper car, but I did bring a giant pillow.

I have absolutely no idea how this will go.

Y’all the legroom is infinite.

A group of us are now working together to learn how to recline our seats.

We are making progress.

They haven’t turned on the air in the train yet, so naturally a woman has plugged a small portable fan into her iPhone and looks far more comfortable than the rest of us.

I have mocked such things for years.

But not today.

The air has been turned on.

There is a collective gasp of gratitude.

Y’all the people on this train are cracking jokes constantly and they are absolutely hilarious.

Subtext: The point if taking the train (which I have done may times before, just not overnight) is to compare it to (a) driving, or (b) flying during a holiday.

So far train is pretty great tbh.

Good thing: the seat I’m in is massive and has leg room for miles.

Bad thing: it is not a window seat and there is no arm rest between me and my seatmate.

Okay gonna make a run for the cafe car in a bit. Wish me luck.

I procured microwaveable pizza, a coke, and a cookie.

Still better than airplane food.

Also there is wine.

Back in my seat, where I am attempting to do work while occasionally distracted by the man in front of me playing a very aggressive game of backgammon on his laptop.

I am also learning that all the rules I thought I knew about backgammon were wrong.

Okay now this is all just boring and quiet which is EXCELLENT

Update: I looked up from my laptop and the woman with the fan and her seatmate have vanished.

I did not see them leave.

I can only assume they were raptured.

Like, maybe that was the whole rapture. Just Smart Fan Lady and her divine Plus One allowed into heaven. That’s it.

Conductor is now explaining over the PA system—in the thickest Southern accent possible—that they will turn off the lights in a few minutes.

Wait now she is also describing, in detail, how to flush the train toilets and where to throw away trash. Also insisting ppl wear shoes.

That announcement was a journey.

To be clear: she both insisted people wear shoes while walking around *and* made a specific point about wearing shoes when entering the cafe car, as if the latter were the far more egregious offense.

Honestly they should make this announcement on planes too.

Note: So far, literally all of this remains better than flying or driving during the holidays.

Also I learned backgammon.

I’ve been working this entire time, in case you were wondering what journalists are doing when we write those articles you read.*

*Okay I know only some of you actually read them

The lights have still not been turned off and I am in SUSPENSE

Oh no I pivoted in my seat and it somehow made the (heavy and loud) tray table fall out in the seat behind me and I kid you not the guy literally yelled “GHOST!”

DARKNESS HAS FALLEN

Alright gonna get some final work done before I grab my giant pillow and attempt sleep.

Wish me luck.

Update: Sleep was not effortless, but still easier than on a plane.

My seatmate left around midnight, so I spread out like an eagle preparing my lifelong nest.

But something curious happened around 3:00am-ish…

I was awakened by a conductor skeptical that I belonged in my seat.

I was groggily failing to articulate my case when suddenly the raptured couple REAPPEARED and vouched for me.

The conductor then left.

When I awoke, the couple was gone again.

Clearly they are Train Angels.

Also, good morning.

I have arrived in Georgia.

Fun fact: train station reunions are equally if not more joyous than airport reunions.

Having concluded the first half of my holiday train trip (2nd half is the return), I have to say overnight train travel beats planes/cars hands-down in several ways.

Was is late? Yes. Did it take longer? Yes.

But it was HUNDREDS cheaper and way more fun.

Also: Train Angels.

lol when my Lyft driver pulled next to the train station, the guy next to me joked “is your passenger a guy with a ukulele?”

I looked down and realized we were both holding ukes.

Cue the Secret Uke Player Nod Of Respect.

(Also for anyone wondering: when it comes to getting sleep, bringing the giant pillow is *key*)

Also I have a newsletter and y’all should subscribe:

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