I find I get more enjoyment out of David Brooks columns if I picture him wearing a pith helmet, crouching behind a booth at rural diner, and reading the words aloud to me with David Attenborough's voice and attitude of earnest fascination.
"Watch carefully as that man in the red hat eats his most manly of meals. They call it a 'hot roast beef sandwich' in these parts, something my capicola-eating readers have never heard of surely, but which I partook in so as to gain the trust of the locals."
"'Ain't no way I'm gonna trust that Killary-bitch and her child trafficking friends to take over the country,' he told me, which I took to mean that he, like I, wishes to scale back the administrative state so as to arrive at a more truly Hamiltonian model of political economy."
"Tucking into the 10 inch high pile of whipped cream they call pie, my red hatted informant said he heard about a guy who pretended to be a woman so he could go into a ladies bathroom. 'Ah yes,' I said, 'I too am taken by Montesquieu's arguments about centralized power.'"
"'You know, the lamestream media is so controlled by Jews and black people that they won't tell you that the Democrats are the party of the KKK,' the man in the red hat told me. Like him, I'm very concerned about how polarized the country has become around matters of race."
If Twitter had a sarcasm font, all of the above tweets would have been in it. My point being, there's value in knowing what people outside the metropolis think about the world, but I'm tired of David Brooks taking on the mantle of self-appointed MAGA-whisperer.
