Thread by @MForstater

‘Gender-Critical’ Feminists Pay a Price for Speaking Out. But the Price of Silence is Higher

quillette.com/2019/12/29/we-…

This epistolary article by Libby Emmons @li88yinc is everything.

Letters are real. Names have been changed.

"Susan" is planning to go to this @WomensLibFront event in Feb in Seattle. Her brother "Craig" had previously, privately, expressed agreement with Susan in critiquing gender ideology.

Susan: “would you like to brave the crowds & join me? If you’re not interested in risking yr life entering a space being protested by huge men in skirts wielding bats wrapped in barbed wire, I understand. But if you're up for adventure, I’d love it if you would”

Craig: "I am about to sound like the world's biggest coward. I can’t go with you. I don’t think I have the guts to run through the gauntlet. But more importantly, if my son found out, he’d be appalled. Disgusted...He would turn his back on me."

"... He and I have had some difficult times about this stuff, but things are good now.... mostly we don’t discuss it. He knows I’m a good person, and I think he’s willing to just leave it at that. I am terrified of jeopardizing that. "

"He’s not an ideologue, really. just a typical teenager in Seattle (and on the internet!), and that means he takes certain things as gospel. Believing (or just assuming or accepting) these things is part of what it means to be a ‘good person’ these days. Transwomen are women."

"..Anyone who challenges that, or even asks for nuance or tries to understand what it really means, is the enemy of goodness and truth. To question is to hate. "

"At least once a week, I promise myself I will stop reading radfem blogs etc. It’s too upsetting, seeing how insane the world has become.. seeing how misogyny has been so effectively repackaged as fairness.. how impossible it has become to explain anything, to speak rationally. "

"I know, I know. This is not a good look. I have the luxury of ignoring this stuff (if I can actually bring myself to look away).

I think if I was a woman, I would be frozen in despair. Or burning in anger. Or both. So I have to beg off. "

"... Like a true coward, I’m afraid of everything about this. It’s radioactive. I can’t be associated with it in any way. Is this disrespectful to you? Is it disrespectful to my son? ...yeah. But I have visions of losing him forever. It might be ridiculous of me, but there it is

Susan writes about her daughter’s experience at a liberal-arts college. 11 of her female classmates have undergone drastic, irreversible body modification. Susan talked honestly to her daughter. They argued. It was difficult. Eventually her daughter came around.

Susan: "Everyone likes to think they would have been brave in previous totalitarian times, that they wouldn’t have let their kids just join the state-sponsored youth movements of the day. But throughout history, the vast majority of people are cowards."

"Part of the evil of totalitarianism is that it makes us fear our children, our friends, our co-workers.

Part of the evil of misogyny is that it makes nice liberal men think it’s ok for their kids to join anti-woman movements."

@li88yinc tells of a prominent writer, terrified to speak up, because she believes it will cost her work. “It’s just insane. I’m tempted to tweet full support [for Rowling], but it’s not worth the backlash. I’m afraid to express an opinion held by like 95% of the population.”

Libby writes: Trans ideology is a new form of sexism disguised as liberation. It plays on traditional stereotypes, promotes body hatred, tells women to be compassionate at the cost of their own wellbeing.

And of herself, and what she has lost in the theatre world ".....I could not keep my mouth shut, even though, like Susan’s brother, I really wanted to ...I was unable to go on knowing that I had not stood up for women and children."

My postscript: I wrote, talked, tweeted about this issue because I couldn't stay silent, and also because I thought I worked in an organisation & a sector where people talk about things: evidence, ideas, outcomes, rights, policies.

I thought we had the space to, and a duty to.

When I lost my job I didnt go quietly to save my reputation.

Because what happened to me was unjust, & I knew it was happening to thousands of other women, who have lost work, or friends, or children, or lost their voice because of fear of what they could lose.

Getting grief from strangers, threats from trolls, having people publicly smear you, tell lies about you, even losing work & money ....all this can be braved if you are resilient and have support

But losing your tribe is terrifying.

It is the silence that is the worst.

But the silence tells me something.

If people really did think that what I have said is hateful, intellectually incoherent or untrue, they would be saying so.

I've only seen one person in my professional networks do that (and none of the 220 likes are from those networks)

They would be liking CGD's tweet in numbers (there is just one person who knows me, and 2 other CGD staff amongst these likes)

So that tells me there are a lot of Craigs (in fact I know there are a lot of Craigs because I have letters like this too).

JK Rowling spoke up bravely, and I'm sure it cost her.

There are lots of Susans speaking up in their own lives, with their own families.

JK Rowling speaking up sparked thousands of new conversations.

But still public silence across the development sector.

Ditto professional feminist orgs. Ditto open government. Ditto UK civil society orgs.

An ideology that shuts down debate through fear is not one you want to let go unchallenged in your family or your organisations.

I wonder who will give people permission to speak up in these sectors?

@threadreaderapp unroll me please