The Nottingham Forest FC squad as shoes: a thread #nffc
Aro Muric: Reebok trainers. The dodgey bald bloke up the street swears they are good shoes, in reality they are a bit shit 
Alex Mighten: Astros. The perfect shoe to do keepy ups in your bedroom with at 3 in the morning. Something Alex undoubtedly does
Michael Hefele: Clogs. A European myth. Will cause severe injury if stood on by these stompers
Brennan Johnson: Plimsolls. We all remember plimsolls the first time they became relevant, whether this generation appreciates a good plimsoll is yet to be seen
Zach Clough: Gazelles. Used to be prominent in the seniors, dwindled since then, now only occasionally seen amongst the youth
Tyler Walker: Speziales. The shoe that is loved amongst young and old. The older lads can remember what came before these trotters, and loved them as a result
Brice Samba: Fila Pavement Breakers. By far the most terrifying crep in existence. Beware this shoe by all means necessary. Especially if you’re a ball boy
Yohan Benalouane: Doc Martins. Are these still around? Does anyone still wear them? Anyone know where they are? A mystery.
Tiago Silva: Converse. Perfect for certain situations. Other than that, your dad always forgets you have them
Tendayi Darikwa: Medical Boot. Obviously.
Joe Lolley: schoolshoe (shitflickers). Perhaps a little one-dimensional, however provides curve and first touch like no other footwear
Ryan Yates: Air Max. Probably a perfectly normal shoe, but we blame it for the majority of the worlds problems.
Samba Sow: Steel Toe Boots. The mere presence of this shoe strikes fear into nearby humans. Unfazed by any offence.
Michael Dawson: Slippers. Perfect equipment after a long day of scrabble and sudoku. Joe Lolleys dog loves them.
Alfa Semedo: Balmains. Unlimited drip. Sauce on spill. As an actual shoe? Bit shit.
Carl Jenkinson: Yeezys. Associated with a massive name. Genuinely quite crap in reality.
Adama Diakhaby: Schoolshoes (box). Provided with unlimited pace, but with the first touch and control level of a Ford Transit
John Bostock: Sandals. The priest of the club would only be seen wearing the shoes of our Lord and Saviour. Wears them with socks on nights out.
Jordan Smith: Hospital bags. Specifically designed to not catch anything whatsoever
Joe Worrall: Crocs (defense). Nice and laid back, but still stylish enough to do a cracking job when needed. Captain Consistent of the shoe world.
Matty Cash: Crocs (attack). Nobody expects them to work as good as they do. Will eat you alive and laugh about it. Dangerous crep. Beware.
Joao Carvalho: Vans. Decent style, useful from time to time. However yer da hates them and wants you to get 11 pairs of Lonsdales instead.
Nuno: Off White Jordan’s. Probably a good shoe, however was released when everyone was shouting in anger, so therefore doesn’t look as good right now.
Ben Watson: Lonsdale Slip Ons. Passing range like an archer, can ping an apple onto a postage stamp. Will also break a bus drivers nose for giving him the wrong change.
Lewis Grabban: Adidas Jamaica’s. Proudly representing his country, however only came about one time and then fell off the face of the earth, much like Grabban for the Jamaica national team.
Gaetan Bong: Vauxhall Astra. I know; how could an Astra possibly be a shoe? Well, how could Bong possible be a footballer.
Toby Figs: Alex McQueens. Pricey if you want them, but enough pace and power to make a person cry on impact.
Yuri Ribeiro: Lightning McQueens. 1 million times cheaper than Alex McQueens, but secretly 50 times better, and secretly the shoes yer da wears to work.
Thanks for watching. My thumbs hurt. #nffc
