A thread rating every amphora emoji 🏺 
1. Apple
Panathenaic amphora (500s BC) with geometric decoration (800s BC).
Lovely rich colors, overall nice shape, but why is the meander so big. Meander is canonical Greek design, but is normally a border element. White meander at the neck is odd. 7/10
Panathenaic amphora (500s BC) with geometric decoration (800s BC).
Lovely rich colors, overall nice shape, but why is the meander so big. Meander is canonical Greek design, but is normally a border element. White meander at the neck is odd. 7/10
2. Google
Another Panathenaic amphora with geometric decoration, a confusing mix of styles. Pattern suggests homage to Tetris, but does have a nice border. Good color and shape, suggests three-dimensionality. 6/10
Another Panathenaic amphora with geometric decoration, a confusing mix of styles. Pattern suggests homage to Tetris, but does have a nice border. Good color and shape, suggests three-dimensionality. 6/10
3. Microsoft
Color is weird (unless this is meant to be gold or raw clay?!) but the ovoid neck-amphora shape is fine. Extra points for the surprisingly accurate, albeit large, meander pattern with a border. 7/10
Color is weird (unless this is meant to be gold or raw clay?!) but the ovoid neck-amphora shape is fine. Extra points for the surprisingly accurate, albeit large, meander pattern with a border. 7/10
4. Twitter
Lid appears sealed—do not drink contents. Go home, meander design, you’re drunk. Very lazy decoration, meander is too large and looks like paper clips. The handles should be black. Coloration is good, but the vase appears flat, bad for storing liquid. 4/10
Lid appears sealed—do not drink contents. Go home, meander design, you’re drunk. Very lazy decoration, meander is too large and looks like paper clips. The handles should be black. Coloration is good, but the vase appears flat, bad for storing liquid. 4/10
5. WhatsApp
Lovely neck-amphora, a middle Geometric shape (800s BC) but confusingly decorated like a black-figure vase (500s BC). Extra points for correct size of decorative motifs (small meander with border elements) even if the color is too red and grey. 6/10
Lovely neck-amphora, a middle Geometric shape (800s BC) but confusingly decorated like a black-figure vase (500s BC). Extra points for correct size of decorative motifs (small meander with border elements) even if the color is too red and grey. 6/10
6. Facebook
Appears to come with own spotlight—handy for installing in the dark, possibly haunted. The handles seem to be attached too low on the neck. Fine meander pattern, but lacking borders. 5/10
Appears to come with own spotlight—handy for installing in the dark, possibly haunted. The handles seem to be attached too low on the neck. Fine meander pattern, but lacking borders. 5/10
7. OpenMoji
An abomination. Unclear if grey-yellow coloration is bad shading or intentional. Appears to have windows? Perhaps an amphora-shaped novelty house? Perhaps an ancient Hydroflask? Handles are way too thin and will break. Medium unknown. 1/10
An abomination. Unclear if grey-yellow coloration is bad shading or intentional. Appears to have windows? Perhaps an amphora-shaped novelty house? Perhaps an ancient Hydroflask? Handles are way too thin and will break. Medium unknown. 1/10
8. emojidex
Vague, but not offensive and has nice shading. Handles go out too far from the body of the vase. Unsure of utility and date of manufacture but perhaps useful for showing off to local satrap at symposia (or your HOA board). 5/10
Vague, but not offensive and has nice shading. Handles go out too far from the body of the vase. Unsure of utility and date of manufacture but perhaps useful for showing off to local satrap at symposia (or your HOA board). 5/10
9. LG
Very curly handles (South-Italian vibes), odd shape, medium unclear (bronze?) and simple decoration. Not even sure this is ancient or Greek. Could be a necklace pendant? Not good for long-distance transport. 3/10 but +2 bonus for the curlicues and only the curlicues.
Very curly handles (South-Italian vibes), odd shape, medium unclear (bronze?) and simple decoration. Not even sure this is ancient or Greek. Could be a necklace pendant? Not good for long-distance transport. 3/10 but +2 bonus for the curlicues and only the curlicues.
Sorry we forgot Samsung:
Similar to the Apple amphora, an unexpected mix of styles for this shape, but nice color, shading, and volume. Disappointed by the lack of Athena, bonus points for no erroneous white meander pattern around the neck! 7/10
Similar to the Apple amphora, an unexpected mix of styles for this shape, but nice color, shading, and volume. Disappointed by the lack of Athena, bonus points for no erroneous white meander pattern around the neck! 7/10
We heard your request for a full analysis of 🏛. Enjoy!
