Thread by @gradydoctor

1/
Stop.

Make your point clear.
Help me hear you.
Don’t be mean.

and

Use.
Your.
Words.

That’s what I used to say to my sons when they were still early in their language development. I still recall the frustration that would wash over their young faces mid-tantrum.

2/
Now they’re older & frustration looks different. But those same words still hold true. And here lately? I’m also saying them to myself.

Yup.

Today, I’m reflecting on what it means to use our words.

Especially as it relates to how we #dothework of antiracism.

3/
Like many trying to #dothework, I read this book. I’ve found a lot of @DrIbram's ideas thought provoking. Like this:

“What if we measured the radicalism of speech by how radically it transforms open-minded people? By how the speech liberates the anti-racist power within?”

4/
Whew.

I love how he makes the distinction of “open-minded people.” It's masochistic to go down rabbit holes with close-minded folks who are unlikely to change their minds.

Especially since it robs us of the energy we need to #dothework that might actually have impact.

5/
But wait. How we DON’T use our words in times where we should matters, too.

Yup.

It’s an elephant in many rooms. The hushed voices of #BlackintheIvory colleagues seething from lukewarm statements or worse--those that are absent altogether.

Let me explain.

6/
But first, check out this other pearl from @DrIbram:

“What if we measured the conservatism of speech by how intensely it keeps people the same? Keeps people enslaved by their racist ideas and fears, conserving their inequitable society?”

I’ll wait while you read that again.

7/
Can I be transparent?

Milquetoast words like “unfortunate recent events” are NOT the same as “senseless murders of unarmed Black people.”

Just “unfortunate inequities” is not the same as saying “structural racism & health disparities” when discussing #COVID19.

Nope.

8/
Words withheld can feel like #microinvalidations. And remember--intention (through omission or otherwise) has nothing to do with the impact.

Delays in speaking up also hurt. Especially from those in leadership positions.

Unsure? This where your #DEI leaders can advise.

9/
Don't have any #DEI appointees on your team or in your institution? You should. And not just as volunteers. (*pssst* also a #microinvalidation.)

But I digress.

Let's talk about being mean. Shall we?

10/
Kendi also says this:

"When our vicious attacks on open-minded consumers of racist ideas fail to transform them, we blame their hate rather than our impatient and alienating hate of them."

Whew. I'm still chewing on this idea.

11/
I've learned through my own mistakes that very little good comes from unnecessarily mean words. Especially as we #dothework of #antiracism.

That doesn't mean that we shouldn't be honest. And yes--sometimes the truth can hurt.

But the question is: What's the end goal?

12/
If the end goal is to #dothework and REALLY work together toward dismantling racism? We need:

*Psychological safety
*Bravery
*Honesty
*Sacrifice
*Open-minded people
*Kindness
*A growth mindset
*Willingness to learn
*Accountability
*Patience

And how we use our words is key.

13/
And so.

I guess I’m realizing that the same advice I gave my sons way back when holds true for #antiracism:

Stop.

Make your point clear.
Help me hear you.
Don’t be mean.

and especially

Use.
Your.
Words.

#BLM #silenceisviolence #dothework #justiceforthemALL

Last:

Thanks to every open-minded person who reads anything I write here. For real. We're all trying to #dothework, man. And if I learned nothing else from @DrIbram's book it was this:

We ALL have work to do.*

*(These throwback photos of my sweet boys underscore why.)

#BLM