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Sounds About Right 🌯 Profile picture
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20 Jul, 7 tweets, 2 min read
This is for people who doubted me. I told you I had a really cool and totally totally real book.
And before you start going. "THAT COULD HAVE BEEN WRITTEN BY YOU TODAY YOU IDIOT."

Booommm!
The first prophecy is sooooo disturbing!!
EVERYONE. I AM TOTALLY FREAKING OUT BECAUSE AS I READ THIS BOOK THAT IS FROM 1869, IT IS SOOOO ACCURATE!!
Look at this. WE COULD HAVE KNOWN WHO WOULD HAVE WON!!!
This is just straight up amazing!!
Uh...obviously he made typos...

JUST INCREDIBLE!

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More from @Soundsaboutrig4

Sounds About Right 🌯 Profile picture
22 Jul
Webster’s Dictionary defines saga as:

a modern heroic narrative resembling the Icelandic saga
Or a long detailed account

Calling Twilight a saga is like calling me vomiting for a week straight a saga.

Let's watch this trash.

#Twilight #BreakingDawn Part 2 #TwilightOnNetflix.
These movies are the cinematic equivalent of someone taking a sledgehammer to my femur.

Painful, slows me down, and makes me wish the pain would stop.

Unlike being crippled, I should be able to recover from this trash soon enough.
Why do people like these movies? I would rather figure out how to have a crab navigator my small intestines while it held a switchblade than watch this again.
Read 178 tweets
Sounds About Right 🌯 Profile picture
20 Jul
So as you may know, SAR is supposed to review #Twilight #BreakingDawn tonight.

This is @Soundsaboutleft and the stench coming from his room is becoming overwhelming.

I'm just going to assume the worst and start this review.

Here's something I whipped up in memoriam.
I guess I should first say a few words. First of all, sounds about right was a lousy roommate. He constantly screamed in the night "I can't review them anymore! Make it stop."

In fact that's why I'm pretty sure things are gonna get awkward with the landlord soon.
You see for the last few weeks all I've heard from his room has been sobbing and Taco Bell wrappers crinkling and hard shell tacos being eaten.

Then him ripping ass.

Those noises stopped a bit ago and I sure as hell don't want to deal with what I find.
Read 159 tweets
Sounds About Right 🌯 Profile picture
20 Jul
Reviews so far:

Road House:


Point Break


Speed


Titanic


Twilight


New Moon


Eclipse
Congo


Highlander


Dante's Peak


Independence Day


The Patriot
Maybe others..I don't know.

My brain doesn't exist anymore
Read 4 tweets
Sounds About Right 🌯 Profile picture
19 Jul
Okay, everyone. I have spent a lot of time programming some software that reads in all the tweets buzzfeed and all the other sites use to get free clicks.

I'm gonna have it crunch the numbers and it'll spit out the perfect viral tweet.

Here is my sweet system. It's cherry!
Okay. It's still processing the data. Let me check out the ticker tape it's spitting out.

"It hurts. The stupid hurts."

Right. It seems to be reading the websites as we speak.
*stares at wall and contemplates life choices*
Read 15 tweets
Sounds About Right 🌯 Profile picture
19 Jul
Oh, man. It is insanely coincidental that I am eating at this lunch place. See there is a couple right beside me and it’s their first date.

This is totally real and not some contrived attempt to go viral.
So the guy is going "This is first date. How crazy this first date. I hope no one listens to us on our first date and posts about it on twitter. That would be crazy because it'll go viral and whoa...we can totally go 'We're couple' and then tell people we are getting married."
And the girl said in response "I would totally find it crazy if this was posted on twitter. I mean I doubt this would happen since only freaking weirdos eavesdrop on other people's conversations and post it word for word on twitter. Like...what would be wrong with them?"
Read 15 tweets
Sounds About Right 🌯 Profile picture
19 Jul
So beings the live review of #Twilight #Eclipse from the #TwilightSaga on #TwilightOnNetflix.

I have no idea what this is about or why I subject myself to this, but I do have to talk about something important.

Qui huc intrasti omissa spe
Okay. Before we begin, I need to apologize to Kirsten Stewart. And this isn’t because I was threatened by a grove of sequoias who asked me if I wanted to know what a tree branch tasted going up the ole poop chute.
No, see. I was inform by an organization called People Against Wood Acting Insults. They told me that plank is considered one of the greatest actors to ever come out of the forest. Dare they say one of the best to ever perform in a Birchway Play.
Read 187 tweets

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