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More from @Soundsaboutrig4

20 Jul
So as you may know, SAR is supposed to review #Twilight #BreakingDawn tonight.

This is @Soundsaboutleft and the stench coming from his room is becoming overwhelming.

I'm just going to assume the worst and start this review.

Here's something I whipped up in memoriam.
I guess I should first say a few words. First of all, sounds about right was a lousy roommate. He constantly screamed in the night "I can't review them anymore! Make it stop."

In fact that's why I'm pretty sure things are gonna get awkward with the landlord soon.
You see for the last few weeks all I've heard from his room has been sobbing and Taco Bell wrappers crinkling and hard shell tacos being eaten.

Then him ripping ass.

Those noises stopped a bit ago and I sure as hell don't want to deal with what I find.
Read 159 tweets
19 Jul
Okay, everyone. I have spent a lot of time programming some software that reads in all the tweets buzzfeed and all the other sites use to get free clicks.

I'm gonna have it crunch the numbers and it'll spit out the perfect viral tweet.

Here is my sweet system. It's cherry!
Okay. It's still processing the data. Let me check out the ticker tape it's spitting out.

"It hurts. The stupid hurts."

Right. It seems to be reading the websites as we speak.
*stares at wall and contemplates life choices*
Read 15 tweets
19 Jul
Oh, man. It is insanely coincidental that I am eating at this lunch place. See there is a couple right beside me and it’s their first date.

This is totally real and not some contrived attempt to go viral.
So the guy is going "This is first date. How crazy this first date. I hope no one listens to us on our first date and posts about it on twitter. That would be crazy because it'll go viral and whoa...we can totally go 'We're couple' and then tell people we are getting married."
And the girl said in response "I would totally find it crazy if this was posted on twitter. I mean I doubt this would happen since only freaking weirdos eavesdrop on other people's conversations and post it word for word on twitter. Like...what would be wrong with them?"
Read 15 tweets
19 Jul
So beings the live review of #Twilight #Eclipse from the #TwilightSaga on #TwilightOnNetflix.

I have no idea what this is about or why I subject myself to this, but I do have to talk about something important.

Qui huc intrasti omissa spe
Okay. Before we begin, I need to apologize to Kirsten Stewart. And this isn’t because I was threatened by a grove of sequoias who asked me if I wanted to know what a tree branch tasted going up the ole poop chute.
No, see. I was inform by an organization called People Against Wood Acting Insults. They told me that plank is considered one of the greatest actors to ever come out of the forest. Dare they say one of the best to ever perform in a Birchway Play.
Read 187 tweets
18 Jul
What time is it? It's time to review #Twilight #NewMoon on #Netflix. #TwilightSaga #TwilightOnNetflix

*long sigh*

Yep. Let me just...


Let me just go get ready. I'm doing this sober again.

*puts balled hand to mouth trying to hold back tears*

Let's do this.
Before I start I just have to say this.

*longer sigh*

I make bad life choices and that’s what you’re here for.
So tell your friends because I’m doing this for an audience of like 4 fans and this guy who keeps sending me DMs saying “New Moon Can’t Melt Steel Beams.” I don’t know what that means, but…just.


Why would I do this yet again? WHY? WHY????? WHY?????????????????????????
Read 209 tweets
17 Jul
The live review of #Twlight begins right now, but I uploaded a little interview with the vampire I did to get you started as I go get booze.

If this does well, I'll do the series.

If not? I'll find some other way to disappoint.

"I have no mouth and I must scream"
#Twilight from the #TwilightSaga stars Robert Pattingson and a stiff board called Kirsten Hungryman Tv Dinner.

It also stars my liver weeping in a corner.
We start with a voiceover by Bella that says “I never given much thought to dying.”

You never dealt with quarantine or an actual thought.
Read 210 tweets

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