Thread by @Soundsaboutrig4

I have to say that when @Soundsaboutleft and I were kids, we used to pretend to be cowboys. Actually, he pretended to be Wyatt Earp and I was "one of the guys he shot at the OK Corral."

Then he'd spit on me.

Anyway. Tonight, I can tell you, he's no #huckleberry.
#tombstone

Tombstone is probably my favorite western. Since I don't really like most westerns, it's not a big list but still at the top.

It stars Kurt Russell, Val Kilmer, Sam Elliot, and Bill Pullman.

I freaking love this movie.

And before I start all this I can not stress enough how freaking amazing Val Kilmer (@valkilmer) was in this movie. The fact he wasn't at least nominated for an Oscar is a freaking tragedy and continues to prove the Oscars are absolute bullshit.

Fuck the oscars.

It also has some great supporting actors like Billy Bob Thornton, Michael Rooker (@RookerOnline), Billy Zane (@BillyZane), Michael Biehn, Powers Boothe, Dana Delaney, etc.

What's this? A review that has the insanely charming Billy Zane in it already???

https://twitter.com/Soundsaboutrig4/status/1415111268214599680

And, like usual, I freaking love this film and this is all in good fun.

Remember:

We start off with archive footage. It's 1879 and white people are all going out west to steal land and make dat money.

We learn about Wyatt Earp and his brothers and Doc Holliday are on their way to ...

*checks notes*

Huh. Tombstone. That's a coincidence considering the name of the movie.

We also find out that there's a gang of cowboys known as the cowboys who are a gang who ...do...cowboy gang stuff.

These are outlaws who wear red sashes.

We cut to see a group of The Cowboys riding hard.

They go to a small Mexican or Texas village.

The Cowboys saunter up with their spurs and...they're intimidatingggggg!

A man and his new wife leave the church and right into a group of The Cowboys lead by Curly Sue.

He tosses out some red sashes and says "How fucking dare you defend yourself???!"

The Cowboys unload on everyone because they never learned to use their words.

Johnny Ringo Starr watches with interest and ...just is kinda badass.

After the slaughter, they laugh at the dead and tell the husband to get on his knees.

A priest looks on.

The man refuses to kneel and they glack his knees.

Curly Sue lays down the law. The Law of El Guapo from The Three Amigos.

The priest yells out in anger. After a bad translation, Ringo Starr quotes the Bible. Like...

After they gank everyone, they take the wife inside and...yeahhh.....

Ringo Starr and Curly Sue along with the others sit down to eat the wedding feast.

The priest comes up and talks more...and he's dead by the drummer of the Beatles.

Ringo tells Curly Sue (after prompted) what the priest said. It's a quote from the Bible: "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides By the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men"

@zooeymayonnaise @charmsblowpop @RegaNorwegian @curmudgeon_red @fecologist @karen_dippity

We cut to a train pulling into the station.

Indiana Jones throws someone out and screams "NO ticket!"

Out steps Wyatt Russel.

He sees a man beating his horse and he goes over and slaps him but good.

Two men with badges come up. Behind them a dude screams "I DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' BADGES!!"

The two men ask if Wyatt wants to be a sheriff or deputy or part of their dance group. Not sure...ohhh they want him to be a lawman.

Wyatt tells them to pound sand. He's there to make money off mining.

The Marshall tries to shame Wyatt. "I never met a rich man who didn't end up with a guilty conscious."

Wyatt says "I already have a guilty conscious...I don't want to be a broke ass bitch."

Up steps Wyatt's brothers, Sam Virgil and Bill Morgan Dollar.

Virgil keeps screaming "I swear I didn't rip off The Odyssey!!"

We also meet the wives. It's implied they have a background with a very old profession.

Wyatt's wife Mattie walks up screaming "THEY RAN OUT OF MY LAUDANUM AND I'M ADDICTED TO THAT SHIT!! HAVEN'T YOU SEEN DEADWOOD???!!"

One of the other wives gives her the good stuff. "The first one is free."

Then we find out that Doc Kilmer is on his way and I FUCKING LOVE VAL KILMER!!!

We cut to Val Kilmer being just the best thing to ever happen.

He's playing Doc Holliday and oozes charm and charisma and Holy shit do I love his portrayal.

I can not stress how much I love Val Kilmer in this. There's not any other character I can think of who I associate so much as being perfectly cast as Val Kilmer as Doc.

Everyone else would pale in comparison. I will NEVER stop praising his portrayal and how shit the Oscars are.

Doc is gambling and drinking and dropping hands that are pure daisies.

Doc drops down a daisy of a hand and another gambler is pissed.

He tells Doc to get out.

Doc says "Are we cross?"

The guy talks shit. Like mad shit.

Doc fires back with PURE sarcasm.

The guy tries to pull on him, but Doc is faster.

The man backs down and Val puts his guns on the table.

"There. Now we can be friends again."

The guy jumps at Doc, but Doc shanks the dick out of him.

Some jackass tries to pull a gun when Doc's girlfriend, Kate, pulls out a gun and counteracts that nonsense.

Doc then saunters over to the tables and takes every bit of money and just struts out like a boss.

Name a cooler gunslinger? You can't!

We then see the Earps making their way across Arizona. They're white, so they're not stopped by the highway patrol.

They make their way via wagon into Tombstone arizona.

FYI. Tombstone is the original location where frozen pizzas were invented. Cool...right?

They make their way into a real Wild West town.

We past by teh cemetery and get the best tombstone text ever

"Here Lies Lester Moor Four Slugs from a 44 No Les No More."

Eat shit, Haunted Mansion.

They make their way into town. A new opportunity for the Earps to make money.

It should be pointed out that this was 1879. There's thousands of people the...

That's a lot of ladies of the night out during the day.

They find a parking spot for their wagon.

Earp gets out and flips his pick up into the air, it lands, he takes it out, and he licks it.

The sheriff Behan comes up to harass Wyatt.

Behan is like "OMG. You're Wyatt? I'm a big fan!!!!!"

Behan is part of a lot of groups...including racist ones.

*sigh*

There's always racism with these people.

Behan is trying to flim-flam the Earps.

Wyatt is like "Screw it. Let's do this nonsense."

Crap. @Soundsaboutleft keeps quick drawing on the neighbor's cat. I gotta stop him.

He keeps screaming "YOU'RE A DAISY IF YOU DO, YA PUSSY!!!"

I...I'll be back in like five or ten minutes.

SHIT...HE'S FIRING!!

Okay. Back. Left ran off into the woods screaming in Latin. I’ll find him later.

So Morgan Dollar introduces Wyatt to Sheriff White. He tells them that The Cowboys are the real law.

He tells them this hotel is a slaughterhouse and is the only one that doesn’t make money.

Wyatt goes in screaming “I’m gonna be rich!!”

Inside Wyatt goes up to the bartender as Billy Bob Thornton screams about cards and French fried potatoes.

The bartender tells Wyatt Billy Bob is running away the customers. He keeps screaming about potatoes and red pills.

Wyatt goes over to Billy Bob and says “Did you really do that blood necklace thing??!”

Wyatt tells Billy Bob he’s sitting in his chair. Wyatt claims everything he sees as his. It’s a compulsion.

Billy Bob tries to act tough, but Wyatt slaps him around like Tyrion slapped Joffrey.

Billy Bob runs off crying about “I’m gonna marry a Tomb Raider!!!”

Wyatt asks for a@piece of the hotel. The owner agrees.

Wyatt tells his brothers “I got us some interest in this hotel after beating up a Bad Santa. I hope he doesn’t try to shotty us!”

Of course Billy Bob comes up about ready to shotty when Doc Holliday yells his name out. “Hey. Shouldn’t you be making that awful Bad News Bears remake??”

Doc walks up and is buddy chatting with the Earps while ignoring Billy Bob.

Val is so damn charming.

Oh. And Billy Bob realizes he screwed up. “Wyatt Russell? Didn’t you make a ton of movies for Disney back when?”

Doc then emasculates Billy Bob. So much so he leaves town and makes apologies for being in Going Overboard. Not to be confused with Overboard.

Wait. Going overboard bad Billy Zane, too. Huh.

Wyatt then introduces Doc to Sheriff Behan and Doc just shuts the Sheriff down. It’s great.

Behan claims they’re the next San Francisco. Hahaha.

There’s a shootout in the streets over

*checks notes*

Being called cheaters.

Man. People took shit too seriously back when.

At that moment Billy Zane jumps out of a just arrived stagecoach. A golden light fills the screen as his presence swells and angels cry out his glory.

We also see Wyatt’s love interest.

Billy Zane hams it up and it’s glorious.

She eye fucks Wyatt. Though, honestly, everyone would be all over Doc.

We cut to the theater.

The Cowboys, the Earps, and Doc and Kate are there.

We’re introduced to the mayor. He tries to get Wyatt to be a lawman and Wyatt says “Go fuck yourself.”

We then see vaudeville that’s abbreviated by pew pews.

Then Zane comes out and Curly Sue says “Pretty man I ever saw.”

That is absolute fact.

Zane does Saint Crispy Chicken’s scene from Shakessword’s play. King Henry the 69th.

The Cowboys are impressed and show their approval using the second amendment.

We then cut to a Faustian Deal.

Curly Sue then talks about how he’d make a deal with the devil and then double cross him. Something about drilling his ass.

Like. I would watch the shit out of this vaudeville show.

And the devil is played by the girl who wants that Wyatt D. Doc makes sly comments

The play ends and Morgan Dollar starts to talk philosophical about stars. Dude is obviously stoned.

Then we get to a religious debate. It’s slightly less annoying than Facebook groups about it.

Wyatt asks Virgil to come to the hotel with him.

His wife wants a mustache ride, though, and Virgil goes to explore her Aeneid.

Wyatt then talks about Mattie’s substance abuse issues. Sadly, this is a long time before rehab exists.

Wyatt and Morgan Dollar go to run the games at the hotel.

Hey. They win some mining claims. They can make that dolla now.

Doc is drunk and lays out the pure charm. He calls out Wyatt when it comes to his fidelity.

Doc asks Wyatt what he’d do if the actress walks in.

Wyatt talks a big game, but Doc had set him up. The actress walks in.

Wyatt instantly has a stiff six shooter.

Miss Marcus smiles at Wyatt. He pours cold water on himself and screams “See. I’m fine!”

Doc says “I stand corrected, Wyatt. You’re an oak. Now leaf me alone to drink heavily.”

Billy Zane comes in and everyone applauses. This is how it should always be.

Some random dude asks Wyatt for his Herbie Hancock.

Curly Sue comes up, tosses the autograph away, and tries to intimidate Wyatt. Ike, another Cowboy, starts singing “Rolling on the river!!”

Ringo Starr tries to get under Doc’s skin, but Val don’t give no fucks. He’s there for booze and gambling.

I freaking LOVE this scene. It’s perfection.

“I’m in my prime.”

That’s funny. I’m watching this on prime.

Doc then emasculates the fuckkkkk out of Ringo.

We then get a Latin off between Doc and Ringo. Again. Amazing scene of intimidation and verbal fighting.

The sheriff breaks up the fight and we get a pew pew pull and spin off. Ringo using pew pews and Doc using a booze cup.

Just the best thing ever. How the FUCK did this not get nominated??!

They don’t take Doc seriously, but they should have. He is vengeance.

The Cowboys walk away.

Wyatt asks about The Cowboys. Meanwhile, Miss Marcus is all kinds of hot for Wyatt. Again. Anyone would be for Doc. I would be.

We cut to Wyatt going on a ride. Probably to clear his head. He sees Miss Marcus and is all like “I’m out for a ride.” She says “So am I.”

Then she goes “I mean I wanna bang.”

Their horses are all hot for each other and they decide to ride the horny right out of them.

They then try to impress each other with dumb stunts. Ya know. Neither have any blood in their brains.

We cut to a picnic and the…well. It’s not subtext when they’re basically eye fucking each other.

Miss Marcus asks if he’s a swinger.

Wyatt dries her up by talking about wanting kids. She says she wants room service. Man. She would love ubereats.

Then we get lots of flirting and her talking about how she’s with the Sheriff just to kill time.

Wyatt is impressed with her forwardness.

We cut back to Wyatt going back into his room. Oh. Right. He has a wife and she’s chugging laudanum like it’s water. Holy crap.

She’s going at it like it’s her job.

She asks where he’s been and then downs more of it.

Wyatt then talks about leaving and getting room service. Just order postmates or Horsemates.

We cut back to Doc being drunk and playing piano. Dude is the coolest.

Some lame ass Cowboy asks what he’s playing. Idiot doesn’t know it’s Chopin.

Doc makes my heart palpitate.

We cut to Curly Sue chasing the dragon and then going out to second amendment the moon.

Sheriff White comes out to disarm Curly Sue.

Curly Sue ganks him and then goes “I back the blue…moon!”

Curly Sue is apparently Badman and doesn’t realize shooting someone kills them.

The towns people come out to do street justice when Wyatt comes out to put him on trial.

The Cowboys come out wanting his bail to be zero dollars.

Wyatt tells them to pound sand. When Ike tries something, he finds out he doesn’t want to have a hole in the head.

They think Wyatt is bluffing, but Ike knows better.

Doc comes out and pulls a pew pew to cover Wyatt. The Cowboy says. “You’re so drunk you can’t hit nothing. In fact I bet you’re seeing doubles.”

That’s when Doc flops out his huge dong and scares everyone.

“I have two guns. One for each of ya.”

Virgil and Morgan come out to keep the peace. The Cowboys threaten them.

We then find out that Curly Sue isn’t prosecuted because the judge sucks.

Wyatt goes “Whatever. Not my problem.”

They start scheming to make more money.

Virgil seems pissed at their inaction.

Sheriff Behan tries to recruit them, but the Earps aren’t wanting it.

The sheriff tries to intimidate them. He talks about going to an Island or being a Stepfather.

Virgil Elliot goes out and sees the hell the Cowboys make the town. He can’t let the innocent suffer because he’s baller.

We see Virgil hammer his 95 theses.

The locals are pissed. They scream about their second amendment rights and shut. Virgil starts to pistol whip them and they all scream how they think Covid isn’t real.

Virgil has sensible ideas and people are pisssseedd.

Wyatt comes up and. Oh. The mayor is Terry O’Quinn. My bad.

Wyatt is mad that Virgil is being a lawman.

Wyatt kinda Karens it a bit. Especially when Morgan Dollar follows Virgil like he’s Dante. Into Hell.

Okay. That is a damn good reference.

We find out that Wyatt is a reluctant hero because of a past experience. Virgil monologues about the dude and Wyatt leaves.

We see Wyatt starting at Miss Marcus singing. He’s enthralled.

Doc is at the tables gambling and oozing charm.

The Cowboys get mad at Doc always winning. Doc suggests they have a spelling contest. Hahahahaha

Ike tries to intimidate Doc, but Doc don’t give a fuckkk.

Virgil intercedes and Ike goes all Karen Cowboy on the Earps.

Doc has an attack and collapses.

Ike asks like a prick and talks shit. He’s such a punk ass.

Ike threatens the Earps and Virgil pistol whips his lame ass.

Ike wakes up in jail. His buddies get him and more threats.

One tries to go at Wyatt and he bitch slaps him.

Ike says he wants to fight. “OK?”

We cut to Doc in bed. A doctor tells him he’s dying. He needs to stop drinking, smoking, gambling, etc.

Basically. Become as lame as me.

Doc tells the doc to piss up a rope and Kate comes over to give him a smoke.

Doc thinks about stopping, but good ole Kate drags him back in.

“You are a good woman. Then again. You may be the Antichrist.”

Man. Doc knows how to put it.

The Cowboys try to intimidate the Earps. They ride by armed, which is against the Theses.

Wyatt asks to be sworn in so they can pew pew legally.

The mayor comes out and tells them the Cowboys are at the OK GO Corral.

Doc comes up looking like hell. He’s there to help his friends no matter what. What a great friend.

Wyatt wants to avoid the fight, but Virgil Elliot talks about the Dude.

Wyatt tells Doc he doesn’t have to come.

Doc is pisssed that Wyatt thinks he would dare not help his friends.
“That is a hell of a thing to say to me.”

I heart Doc.

They head to the Cowboys.

The Cowboys had torched their place I think?

They walk over and it’s so intense and awesome.

Some dumb fuck kid comes up play shooting and, honestly, he should be happy he didn’t get got.

The Sheriff comes up and says he disarmed them. He does a piss poor job of it.

The Earps and Doc walk up and tell the Cowboys to drop their weapons. There’s a stand off

They all stare at each other and the tension is so thick you can cut it with a knife. Doc gives a smile and things go sideways. Lots of pew pewing.

Ike punks out. He begs to leave, does, and then pew pews at them from a room. A room Miss Marcus and the sheriff are in.

It’s such a bad ass scene.

Hahaha. Some dude thinks he has the drop on doc

He doesn’t hahahaha. I fucking LOVE Doc.

Morgan was hurt, but the Cowboys were the casualties.

The sheriff tries to arrest them, but Wyatt tells him to go kick rocks.

Miss Marcus comes out and she’s all kinds of hot for Wyatt. I don’t blame her.

Mattie sees Wyatt eye fucking her and is sad. The other wives come out to hug their Earps.

The mayor seems to regret what happened and there’s a moment of understanding between Doc and Wyatt. So good.

We cut to The Cowboys holding funerals for the dead. They also use them as propaganda against the Earps. Wait. People pretending instigators are the victims??

What. A 1/6 chance of that.

We see some of the townsfolk mad at the Earps because they’re idiots.

We see a drunk Ringo Starr demanding their blood.

Ringo asks if anyone has the guts and Doc walks out, his massive dong breaking the floorboards and digging into the dirt streets, and he says the best thing ever:

I can not stress how god damn good Val Kilmer is.

Curly Sue saves Ringo’s life by dragging him away.

Curly assures revenge.

Doc then goes back to get his shave. Holy fuck is he the coolest character.

That night sinister music plays.

The sheriff is whining to Miss Marcus that she’s into Wyatt. He also implies that something is gonna happen to the Earps.

We see Cowboys sneaking into positions to attack.

Virgil leaves the bar.

As Virgil walks home in a thunderstorm, we cut to the wives doing Tarot. The death card. Also. Tea.

There’s a knock and Miss Marcus@comes in to warn the ladies.

There’s a knock and one goes to open the door. Miss Marcus screams no and a gun fires.

As the storm continues, Virgil stumbles in wounded. He collapses.

We cut to a doctor trying to get a bullet out of Virgil. He’s getting the best in American Healthcare. A swig of whiskey and an arm that is fucked.

Morgan runs off as anarchy ensues.

Wyatt leaves after Virgil tells him to leave.

We also see Yondu come up and tell Wyatt he wasn’t a part of this nonsense.

Also. Yondu has quit the Cowboys. See. They went after the Earps’ wives and that’s not cool. A couple other Cowboys follow in leaving them.

We cut to Morgan Dollar playing pool when he gets got.

We cut to even better American Healthcare. A bit of leather in the mouth and a metal instrument shoved into your back with no pain killers.

Morgan dies in Wyatt’s arms. God damn.

Wyatt breaks down as his brother dies and I need a moment.

Wyatt leaves and is emotionally shattered. Rain pours down as he calls out why fate was so cruel.

Miss Marcus tries to console him, but he tells her to hit the pavement.

He screams out his agony.

The next day the Cowboys smuggly watch the Earps leave.

Doc stays back and the Earps leave Tombstone.

Ringo gets one last dig in because he’s no daisy.

Curly Sue tells Ike to go and glack the Earps.

We see the Earps go to the train from before.

Ike and the other Cowboys go to ambush the Earps, but Wyatt kaplows their ass. Ike falls down and cries. Then Wyatt gets Biblical in his warnings.

See. Wyatt is a Marshall and he’s going to destroy the Cowboys.

So awesome.

We cut to intense music as the ride at sunset back to Tombstone. They literally break into buildings with horses to gank The Cowboys.

Then they go all around town and outside the city limits killing the dick out of the Cowboys. It’s glorious!!

They kill everyone they come across and doc loves it.

We come to a river where the Earp gang is ambushed by Curly Sue and friends. The Earps are trapped.

Wyatt and his men are trapped in a crossfire when Wyatt walks on water and just shotties everyone. No one can touch him. It’s awesome!!!!

Curly Sue goes out to fight him and he finds out that Wyatt has only Nos and pew pews for him and his men.

Doc and the others come out and run the remaining Cowboys away.

The Earp gang are insanely impressed while Doc rests and waxes poetic.

“Make no mistake. It’s not revenge he’s after. It’s the reckoning.”

Doc hacks up a lung and the others question why he stays instead of resting.

“Wyatt Earp is my friend.”

“Hell. I have lots of friends.”

“I don’t.”

Doc is the best friend ever.

We cut to the Cowboys coming upon a stagecoach.

Inside is Miss Marcus and ahhhhh no no no no no no no no no no NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The Cowboys killed Zane. They must all pay for this!!!!!!!!!!!

Why???

You see. The Sheriff has sided with the Cowboys because he’s:

We cut back to Earp and his gang watching Ringo and his men coming at them. Ringo and crew have badges as well. Marshall vs deputy.

Doc passes out and they have to take him somewhere to stay. It’s a Hooker Ranch. Played by Moses.

Hooker lets Doc stay while mumbling about his cold, dead hands.

Earp sees Miss Marcus at Hooker’s, too. They reconcile before she leaves.

We cut to someone giving Yondu the Hector treatment.

Ha. Brilliant reference me.

Yondu got got and they drag him just out of range. Earp and others run to see what they did.

The Cowboy calls out a challenge. Ringo vs Earp.

Earp agrees to it.

A storm comes.

Ringo tells Ike to destroy Earp’s people as Ringo waits for Wyatt.

We see Wyatt talking to Doc. About his dreams and his regrets. Doc looks like hell lying in bed.

Wyatt asks what’s wrong with Ringo.

Ringo says he has a hole in his soul and nothing will fill it. He wants revenge for being born. Like holy shit that’s some nihilism goodness.

Earp talks about his fear of the fight. He knows Ringo will kill him.

Doc offers to go with him, but collapses from consumption.

Doc asks for the badge to see how it feels.

Wyatt goes to meet his fate.

Earp is told where to find Ringo.

Earp tells his men to flee if need be.

Ringo awaits Wyatt. A man walks up and it’s Doc being amazing. So god damn cool!!!

Ringo shits himself because he fears Doc. He was confident when he thought it was Earp, but he “looks like somebody walked on his grave.”

Ringo tries to back out, but Doc presses him for playing for blood. My god this is amazing.

Ringo reluctantly duels.

Doc puts one right between Ringo’s eyes and taunts him mercilessly. It’s so baller.

Let’s take a moment and appreciate that a deathly ill Doc goes out to kill Ringo to save his best friend who knew he was going to die.

Doc is a true friend.

Wyatt walks up to Doc smack talking and you can see the relief and shock.

A moment passes between them and damn. So good.

Wyatt says “Let’s finish it”

Doc: “Indeed, sir. The last charge of Wyatt Earl and his Immortals.”

They lay waste to the remaining Cowboys. They brought hell with them and vengeance is their only goal.

Like if you want Western pew pew montages, look no further.

Oh, and Ike throws off his red sash. A sign of surrender and leaving the Cowboys. They let him live to die the thousand deaths of a coward.

We cut to a Sanatorium in Colorado. Doc is on his death bed being given his last rites.

Wyatt sits down beside his friend. A man who has ridden through hell for him.

Doc talks to his buddy in a state almost at death.

Wyatt pulls out cards to play.

Doc is annoyed Wyatt keeps coming back even though he doesn’t want him seeing him in this state.

Doc lays into his friend’s stubbornness and we see the friendship between them.

We hear a story of regret from Doc about his first love. His cousin. She fled to a convent after their affair.

Doc then tells Wyatt to leave him to die and go find Miss Marcus. Live the life he can never have and who the fuck cut these onions??

Doc tells him to leave him to die. Wyatt says goodbye to his friend and leaves.

Doc lays in bed and looks at his feet. He’s not wearing his boots. Symbolic he didn’t die in a gun fight like he always expected.

Doc dies and…

We cut to Miss Marcus in her changing room. Wyatt walks in and chats her up.

Wyatt shows humility and says he has nothing to give but his love.

They kiss. Miss Marcus then informs Wyatt that she comes from a wealthy family.

They go outside in the snow and dance.

We hear he epilogue. The Cowboys had their power forever destroyed, Ike died two years later, Mattie ODed, Virgil and his wife move to California and became a sheriff. We find out Miss Marcus and Wyatt traveled and loved each other until his death.

At Wyatt’s funeral in 1929 in LA were the Cowboy stars of that age.

Well. That was Tombstone and it’s freaking amazing. I loveeeeeee this movie. So good.

Val Kilmer is perfect in it. The fact he didn’t get at least an Oscar nod continues to prove my point that the Oscars are useless piles of shit.

@threadreaderapp unroll