Thread by @jennifer_brass

An example of why #pandemic #parenting #care during #Covid is particularly challenging. 3 days ago, my toddler started acting funny and slept terribly (up crying at least once/hour). The next morning, his nose was streaming, his voice was hoarse, and he coughed intermittently. 1/

In pre-covid times, this would be unremarkable. In covid times, this meant that on Sunday AM, even though he wasn't particularly ill, we realized we wouldn't be able to bring him to care during the week without a negative test. We cancelled social plans made weeks earlier. 2/

We also cancelled dinner with my ailing father, who was very disappointed and also confused. I promise to drive a plate of dinner up to his house instead. I feel badly that he spends so much time alone these days, but I also can't bring covid to a senior living community. 2.5/

I call the (completely overwhelmed) pediatricians office to schedule a test for the kid. Because they are overwhelmed with calls for this same reason, we didn't get a call back for about an hour. But! They were able to do a telehealth visit same day. Yay! 3/

The helpful NP on telehealth told us "I would bet that isn't covid. Covid kids are much sicker, and that's not what the cough sounds like. They also can't not-cough even for a 5 minute video appointment. But I know you need a note to send him. So we'll do a covid swab." 4/

An hour later, we got the swab. Results currently taking 36-72 hours. So my spouse stayed home with the not-really-sick toddler all of Monday. Luckily, we got the call at 9:30PM Monday night; covid test was negative. Hoorays! We think "only 1 person missed 1 day of work!" 5/

HOWEVER, the day care center didn't receive a fax from the doctor's office, so this morning, when my spouse tried to drop our son off, he was not allowed to go in. My spouse had 25 minutes until he had to start teaching. He calls me in a panic. Can I come get the child? 6/

Or can I call the pediatrician ASAP and get them to fax the negative results super ASAP to the day care? Or can I do both? We both know it's going to be 15 minutes, a hour (or more) before the pediatrician answers the phone these days. So I call and plan to go get the toddler. 7/

About to leave the house (while on hold), I remember that I can log into the health system for my sons (only I have access, of course) and see their info. Eureka! I text my husband this revelation. We are stoked. This might all work out! I call the day care center. 8/

Will they accept these results as being real, even if they are not direct from the doctor's office? YES! Hoorays again! Can I email it to her? NO. No I cannot email health information to them. I don't have a printer at home. MacGuyver it! I hastily screen-shot the results. 9/

I email the picture to my spouse, who is now in his office with the toddler, frantically doing final class prep. I text him to ask him to print them and bring the kid to the parking lot in 10 minutes. I fly down the steps to my car. 13 mins later, we do a hasty kid handover. 10/

Spouse and I exchange testy words, because this is all stressful and threw off everyone's morning plans. Our son (naturally) has somehow peed out of his diaper and all over his shorts. But we have no change of clothes because he SHOULD BE AT DAY CARE of course. 11/

The phone rings. CRAP. I am supposed to be at a meeting. Where am I? Naturally, I am in a parking lot behind spouse's work, collecting a printed covid-negative test result and a pee-soaked, mask-wearing 2 year old. He's very excited to see me. 12/

I beg forgiveness from my colleague (I've already rescheduled this meeting 3 times, given the unpredictability of this covid-kid situation over the past 36 hours). Fortunately, he also has small kids and is lovely and understanding. I have to hang up quick, given everything. 13/

Lacking alternatives, I put the tinkle-soaked kid into his car seat, drive the 7 minutes back to the day care center. I triumphantly hand him over to his (wonderful amazing) teachers, while also apologizing over and over for the wetness and smell. My hands are covered in pee. 14/

I race back home. It is now 90 minutes later than I expected to start working. But spouse made it to class. Toddler is at day care, which has tons of extra clothes and diapers. None of us has covid (that we no of). I call my colleague back. My adrenaline begins to lower. 15/

Call finished, I immediately hop on Zoom for the next meeting. I text an apology to my spouse for snapping at him. He reciprocates. In the end, all is fine. But... together, we lost maybe 12 hours of planned enjoyable weekend things, and another 10-12 hours of work time. 16/

This is the second time in August that this happened. The first time, we were home 2 work days. So in the now-times, twice a month most of a weekend day, and at least one work day is completely upended. 17/

Meetings get cancelled or rescheduled. Classes get taught by a slightly frazzled professor. Time with Grandpa gets indefinitely postponed. It's all fine, on one level, for people like us. We have jobs with flexibility. We have reliable, sufficient income. But it's stressful. 18/

And it's exhausting. And for people without flexible jobs, it's completely impossible. It's not surprising that so many people have left the workforce, given these child and senior-care realities. Some days I want to quit until the pandemic is over. 19/

All of which is really to say that the system we have currently isn't tenable. I'm not the first to say that #covid is exposing how thin the thread is holding the #childcare-#eldercare-#work world together. But today, I'll add my voice again to those who have said it. /end

Adding a day after the original tweets that I am glad this resonated for many people, and I'm sorry I can't reply to each person! Hang in there folks and try to have compassion for others. If you are an employer, consider some paid flex time for your workers during the pandemic.