Thread by @Soundsaboutrig4

Not everyone knows this, but @Soundsaboutleft is a genius. I mean he knows pi to like...8 places kind of brilliant.

He even listens to classical music!!

Well, he got this way by taking random shit some person he vaguely remembered handed him.

#Limitless

Basically, he was able to sorta do smart things but not really. He also made a lot of illogical choices because the plot required it.

Wait. Sorry. I'm reading the script of Limitless. My bad.

I will say Bradley Cooper made this movie very watchable because damn he's charming.

The movie stars Bradley Cooper as some dude and Robert De Niro as the other dude.

Uh.

I'm guessing twitter will not be kind to certain terms, so the character takes oral ...no...uh...dr...no...pi...no...uhh.

Tic tacs. He takes tic tacs and they make him smarter.

Okay. I'm gonna go freshen my breath and come back and review this movie that was turned into a forgettable tv show.

Guess there was a limit. HEEEYYYOOOO!!!!

So it starts out with a foley artist making noises over credits. I think they’re doing plumbing.

We get a voice over from Cooper saying he miscalculated. Weird. I thought you were Uber genius.

So someone is trying to break into his place. This person is plothole.

Cooper is looking down as plothole and his cronies are ganking his neighbors. He says “I have a 4 digit IQ and must have missed something. A plothole if you will.”

We cut to credits that look like SNL credits.

Then we go baccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkk to when he wasn’t Uber smart but not that smart because he missed plothole.

We get “Look at that guy. That’s me.”

Oh. How Vonnegut without any subtlety.

This is Cooper and he’s a writer, but he has writer’s block.

Pfft. I have writer’s avalanche with permanent road closures.

Oh. And his girlfriend leaves him because

*burps*

he’s a loser who has writer’s block.

He uses some words from a thesaurus and we find out he was married@long ago.

The dude got a stack of cash from the publisher. A. Uh. Oh. I have a 4 digit IQ and can’t think of the word.

We get him moping when Ned goes Bing! And comes to annoy him. Wait. No. That’s just his ex brother in law. Cooper hates him because he’s uh…his ex brother in law.

They have awkward talk and Cooper is a bit of a dick to him. Because he’s bitter. Uh. I’m a dick to this movie for many reasons.

They catch up around the lunch table that has ketchup. Hahahahahahs. 4 digit IQ joke.

Basically his ex wife has a kid and her husband left her.

Cooper then confesses he has writer’s block.

His BIL offers him a tic tac. See. He does pharmacy sells. He’s like Gus except not in any way.

Turns out the tic tac lets you access all of your brain. I mean you do that already, but that dumb myth about how much of our brain we use is just fertile ground for bad writing.

We also find out that the tic tac normally costs $800, but the first one is free.

We find out his ex wife was successful and cool. How could she be a loser?

Cooper takes the tic tac and goes upstairs to get yelled at by his landlord’s wife.

She just hammers him.

See. Cooper is behind on his rent because writer’s block.

Then the tic tac kicks in and he goes from using 100% of his brain to using 100% of his brain.

He begins to trip and hyper focus on shit. Huh. I had a friend who did that shit. Dude cleaned his room in like 3 seconds.

Cooper then gets all wicked smart and starts spouting stuff. See anything he has ever seen or read ever comes back to him.

Apparently it gives him ability to create cohesive blah blah. He ends up banging the landlord’s wife.

Then he cleans his room. Which. Hey. Great. Glad you are getting your shit…is this an allegory for taking medication??

We get a montage of Coopers Coopering together.

Then he realizes “I wasted this tic tac on banging some woman who is married and cleaning my place. Let me write my book like I’m Mary Shelley.”

He wakes up hungover and dumb as bricks. He screams “I have writer’s block!!!”

Luckily, he finished the book. He hands it to his publisher. I can’t get a publisher to read my query letter, but this asshole gets an advance for his first book.

*jerk off motion*

He gets home and he publisher is happy with the book. Hope you liked that because we never hear from this book subplot ever again.

Cooper goes to his BIL’s place scratching and fiending.

He asks questions, but we get little info. Just tiny details.

Turns out this tic tac is tic tac lab random nonsense probably filled with horse paste and piss.

His BIL goes “If you want another, go run my errands.”

Cooper scratches and goes “Anything!”

When Cooper comes back, his BIL got ganked.

The place is ransacked and Cooper screams “I have writer’s block!!”

Cooper mourns like a GQP Senator and gets over this tragedy immediately and looks to turn it to his advantage.

He calls 5-0 and then he looks for the tic tacs.

He eventually finds them hidden in the oven because BIL only does take out.

Finally the coppers arrive to talk to Cooper.

Woooo. 4 digit IQ joke!!!

The cops inte…inter…talk to him.

They get some background and Cooper tells@them he’s his BIL and blah blah.

His ex wife calls the coppers and they have him and his ex wife chat

She’s like “Yeah. Sounds about right this happened.”

Four Fucking Digit IQ Joke.

The copper wants to call him later, but he’s free to go do the rest of the plot.

Cooper gets inside and takes out cash and a tic tac. We get fish eye lens and lens flares.

We get visuals like standing in an elevator with mirrors on both sides.

Cooper uses his BIL’s money and tic tacs to get rich.

Oh. First he finishes his book. Now we’ll never hear from it again.

Then Cooper learns the piano and play poker and shit.

He also picks up languages so he can slam ass in eight languages.

He also does internet medical research. Ugh.

Oh. Man. He does walk street bullshit, too. He uses historical easy punches and…

He’s basically Reddit.

He then goes and slams ass in other countries.

Then he uses his IQ to drive like a piece of shit.

Then he does some motivational poster dialogue. God. It really is Reddit.

Then he decided he wants to do something bigger than slamming ass. He needs money.

He does day trading and blah blah. You’re so smart, go win the trifecta.

Instead he goes to a loan shark known as Plothole. He’s a big criminal who will gank you if you don’t pay him back.

Write a note Cooper. “Pay back psychopath.”

He doesn’t do this because they need a driving force for the plot later on. Conflict because conflict is needed sucks my butt.

Cooper takes the money after being told what will happen to him if he doesn’t pay back.

It’s kinda like Scaphism. Don’t read about that. Just. Okay. Here’s a link.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scaphism

Cooper then does margin trading and he is just okay at it.

I mean he makes bank, but they make this guy like he’s god of thought.

By the way. He could easily pay off the Plothole, but doesn’t because conflict.

He’s going to meet Robert De Noro because he made money and is wicked smart.

He impresses his ex by speaking Italian and blah blah.

They start boinking again and..:uh. He definitely has all the STDs in history.

There’s also this plot of@someone following him. Like an army of fiends.

Then he starts to time jump like Fight Club.

Cooper then is at lunch when De Niro’s goon warns Cooper about De Niro. Cooper is a total dick to him.

Bobby D comes@up and is like “What’s your secret.” Cooper goes “Plot convenience.”

We get that Cooper listens to rumors and blah blah.

Yeah. He’s Reddit.

Bobby is sorta impressed and wants him to look at some stuff.

Cooper realizes what those bits of data mean. It’s a big merger.

Bobby is impressed.

Cooper gives him advice.

Bobby is more impressed.

Cooper doesn’t impress him@with his shitty apartment. “The Spartans lived like this!!”

Uh. Not really. They were clean and…fuck it. It’s a throw away line to sound smart.

Cooper goes for a walk and time jumps again and again.

I am Jack’s Walking Exercise.

More MTV in the 80s transitions trying to make me vomit.

Cooper jumps and is in a fight. He remembers kung fu moves and YouTube videos he saw to fight.

He beats everyone up and says “I know Kung Fu.”

We then cut to a bar where a prodigy video is going on.

Man. Teenager me was blown away by that ending reveal.

More time skips and the prodigy video and mtv transitions continue. I’m gonna vomit.

We cut to the next day. He’s looking for Mike Tyson and his wolf pack. Oh. And the plot of Dude Where’s My Car.

Cooper wakes up and he’s got writer’s block again. He looks at the stuff for De Niro and it’s all Greek to him. Which is ironic because he probably learned Greek.

He’s also almost out of tic tacs.

He calls Bobby’s goon and tells him he’s sick. “I’m tic tac sick.”

Oh. Shit. This whole movie is the Great Day video from Lonely Island.

The goon browbeats Cooper to come. “Your writing is shit. You should be embarrassed.”

Shit. How did the response the last agent I emailed get into this review???

Cooper goes to talk to Bobby and he is just 3 IQ dumb.

See. He’s running out of tic tacs.

But they chat about Atwood who is some new big wig who just came onto the scene. I wonder if he took tic tacs.

Cooper watches TV while ignoring Bobby. Turns out the girl he boinked the night before was ganked.

I think this plot is basically ignored later on.

Bobby rags on him.

Cooper goes to vomit because he’s seen the MTV transitions, too. He goes home and freaks that he might be a ganker.

His ex wife calls and she asks “Hey. Did my brother give you tic tacs??”

They set up a lunch date.

Cooper then calls his BIL’s uhh clients. Turns out they’re all dead or dying.

Cooper realizes he’s fuuuucccccckkkkkeeeeeddddd.

He calls one last number and a dude behind him picks up.

*dramatic music*

Cooper runs away.

Haha. He seems like he intentionally ran into some poor lady. He causes a massive accident and then taxis to his lunch date.

There he sees his ex and he has to be pleased with himself because she looks like hell. A shell of her former self.

Cooper is like “Holy shit I’m glad You dumped me.”

She tells him she took the tic tacs long ago. Back when they were dating and got married.

See. Her brother gave her this untested stuff.

She went cold turkey and she got sick. Like seeing babies on the ceiling bad.

She became a pile of hell mentally.

She tells him to lower the number of tic tacs he’s taken. She then leaves looking lik…ohh man.

I wonder if this took inspiration from Joe vs the Volcano.

And Plothole reappears!!!

See Cooper didn’t pay him back. WHICH MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!!!

Plothole then steals his tic tac and he begins to trip as Cooper pays him off.

Cooper fiends thru withdrawals

He goes to his ex fiancé’s place all kinds of sick. He wants her to go get his tic tacs.

He tells her everything and she believes it.

She probably should think it’s

See. He stashed his stash in a stash place in her house.

She calls him after getting it and she’s being followed.

She’s stuck in traffic and the dude is Michael Myersing towards her. She gets out and runs. Uh. I’d hope someone would help a lady being am based by someone dude.

Finally, two dudes come to help and get ganked.

She continues to run from Michael Myers.

She talks to Cooper. She’s stuck and she rightly thinks he’s gonna gank her.

He tells her to take a tic tac and she can wicked smart Good Will Hunting her way out of the situation.

Man. Those two guys got got in broad daylight and no cops were called.

She then pulls a Senseless and zooms in on shit. Then she Sherlock Holmes a plan of..:running. Really needed that tic tac.

I kid. The tic tac allows you to predict variables like other people spinning around and shit. Uh.

Right. That’s not how reality works.

We then see Ewan McGregor shove the …sorry. Wrong movie.

He wakes up the next day and his future is so bright he has to wear shades.

He’s like “I got my tic tacs. We all good.”

She’s like “You’re different now. I prefer the loser I broke off our marriage with uh. Wait. Uh. Shouldn’t I be fine with you. Ah. Fuck it. I’m leaving the script!!”

He tells her he’s got a plan and can quit any time he wants.

Outside some weirdo stares, so Cooper goes down to chat to Plothole.

Plothole wants tic tacs. He gives them some. He’s too dumb to come up with a better solution than give a sociopath tic tacs and to hire…two bodyguards. Riighhhtttt.

Man. I’m an idiot and know this is dumb.

We cut back to Bobby chatting with Cooper. Bobby is impressed again.

He’s in charge of the merger. He also finds the best way to be stable on tic tacs. He also puts it in his jacket hide hole.

We cut to a lab dude. He’ll give him 2 million to replicate the tic tacs.

We then see the detective from before. He accuses Cooper of ganking the girl he ganked.

He gets a lawyer to get him out of legal issues. Our hero!!

Legit forgot that subplot returned because it doesn’t matter.

We see a meeting with Atwood. He’s looking rough because he doesn’t have any more tic tacs.

Cooper gets excited that he’ll make 40 million. Dude. You turned 12k into 2 million in ten days. You’ve spent 2 months to get 40 million.

Way to go. You suck at math 4 digit IQ guy.

Cooper goes and buys an apartment that’s been securitized. It also has a great view.

Plothole appears. He wants more. Of course he does. Because you’re an idiot.

The next day Atwood is a no show.

We also get a reference to the Oracle of Delphi. Man. Greek Wikipedia was in overtime use for this script.

We find out that Atwood is sick and the deal is going on still. Blah blah.

Cooper sees Michael Myers works for Atwood. Atwood is on tic tacs and is dying. Uh. I already said that.

Cooper then goes in for a line up. They start to sing I want it that way

Cooper wonders who is doing the lineup. I mean. He doesn’t show any remorse, but OUR HERO!!

We also see that Cooper’s jacket wasn’t in his possession. The lawyer hands it back.

Dramatic music!!!

Cooper goes back to De Niro. Atwood is in a coma.

Cooper goes to take his tic tac when he realizes he’s been robbed of his tic tacs. The TicTacburgler got it!!

4 digit IQ but too stupid to remember people are thieves.

Cooper is losing his smarts. He is given a box that has like body parts in it. He leave. I don’t know. I zoned out.

We also get news rumors of a merger. The wife denies this and Cooper sees the lawyer is working for Atwood

Cooper’s doorbell rings and it’s Plothole and his goons.

Oh, man. We’re back to the beginning!!!!!!!!!!! B mdjdjzndjdndndbrndjrjdbdbz

Way to spend 8.5 million on a place with security that lasts less time than I did on prom night.

Cooper then remembers he has one last tic tac. He looks for it as Plothole makes his way in.

He then drops the tic tac because conflict.

Plothole wants his mon…errr. Tic tacs.

Plothole brags that he puts it directly in like he’s Barney.

He’s on the last one and we find out it lasts longer that way. Plothole has gotten wicked smart. He’s a smart sociopath. He’s gonna be a Senator soon enough.

Plothole wants to know where the tic tacs are. He wants to start a new business and only Cooper is stopping him.

He begins to torture Cooper by singing showtunes and making him watch Friends. Yeah. I went there.

Plothole monologues about google and shit.

Cooper shanks the dude. Where’s your 4 digit IQ now, Plothole? Yeah. Shank beats smarts.

Cooper realizes it’s a Pyrrhic Victory. I mean he doesn’t use that term because he already closed the history Wikipedia page.

He then drinks Plotholes blood. Congrats. You have even more diseases.

But just a few sucks and he’s gone full wicked smart.

He dev…dev…he figures out a plan. Speak softly and carry a big…wait. No. Bite the guy’s face and run. Then hit them with furniture. Wicked smart.

Then he fools one of the dudes who is blinded to pew pew his friend by speaking one of 837483 languages he knows.

Haha. The blinded guy is legit his greatest adversary.

Cooper monologues that the previous owner was a pew pew seller and there goes that plot.

Then we see Cooper tell Michael Myers that the lawyer took Cooper’s tic tacs

Michael Myers Michael Myers the lawyer and Cooper gets his tic tacs back.

Then it says 12 months later because fuck your. A Year Later isn’t 4 digit IQ enough.

We see a campaign office with Cooper running for office. Hahaha. Yeah. Him being smart is a liability in his country for running for office.

We find out his biggest donator is a Big Pharma run by Bobby D.

So. Being a politician is your plan for changing the world. Hahaha. Right.

Bobby asks Cooper what he’s gonna do if he runs out of tic tacs. Oh man. Plot twist!!

See. Bobby bought the pharmacy that makes tic tacs on the hush hush. Bobby D also tells him they shut down Cooper’s lab.

And Bobby will give him tic tacs. But quid pro tic tac.

Basically, Cooper as a Senator acts like a Senator. Controlled by corporations.

Cooper is invited to lunch. Cooper goes out and then tells Bobby to suck his ass.

Oh. And Cooper is off the tic tac train. Cooper also then lays out accusations that would bring Bobby down.

And to prove he is still wicked smart, he predicts an automobile accident. Cool. Way to go champ. You can notice a driver is texting. Amazon already has cameras in driver vans that does that shit and more. Take your dystopian bullshit elsewhere.

Oh. The accident happens and Cooper is like “I’m wicked smart. Do you like apples? Oh. And you’re not healthy. Your heart eats ass. Suck it. Yeah. Eat shit. Loser. I am 4 digit IQ man!!!”

Bobby tries to play it cool, but Cooper says “Vote for me and eat all the shit ever.”

Cooper then goes to lunch with his ex fiancé who is now his girlfriend or maybe fiancé or who cares.

He then orders food in another language to prove he’s smart.

So that was Limitless. It’s okay.

Cooper is the main reason this okay script even remotely made a somewhat memorable film that is fun to watch.

The transitions still make me want to vomit.

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