Thread by @patriciageezed

Last night I was genuinely struggling. I thought about calling a help line. I thought about what it would be like to permanently escape. I thought about my dogs, my sister, my mom, my husband.

I thought about my dearest friend, and the few close friends I have.

I thought ++

about how helpless I feel watching this planet spin more and more out of control every day.

I thought about how powerless I feel. How hopelessness is taking me over.

I thought about the weight of my trauma. If it could ever be untangled.

I thought about being Indigenous and ++

how that means everything to me, but I'm not not connected to my community. I thought about how my neurology and skin tone make that seem impossible.

I thought about my health and what covid has done to me and how scared I am.

All that thinking kept me awake till 5am.

Then ++

I thought about how the state of some of the rooms in my house reflect that inner chaos and turmoil. How depression and ADHD factor in.

So I decided at 5am I could control one thing when I woke up.

I could clean my upstairs bathroom.

So I've just spent the past 2 hours ++

doing just that.

I still have about a hour of cleaning to go, but it's so, SO much better now.

So today I controlled one thing. And that helps a lot.

#mentalhealth #neurodivergent