Thread by @HamiltonElector

With apologies to Clement C. Moore

'Twas the week before Christmas, and through the White House
A large creature was stirring, and started to grouse;
With cell phone in hand, and Fox News in his sight,
To Twitter he went, to start a new fight.

Melania was nestled, snug in her own bed,
Visions of running fast danced in her head;
Young Baron slept soundly, toy lion nearby,
So frightened he was, but he dared not to cry.

When on the West Lawn, there arose such a clatter,
Trump sprang from to bed to see what was the matter;
Away to the window he screamed when he saw,
A man with a briefcase, he of square jaw.

As he saw what was coming, Trump’s mood grew much duller,
He knew in a moment it must Bob Mueller;
More rapid than eagles his enemies came,
He tweeted, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, SCARBOROUGH! MIKA!” he choked on his spritzer,
“On, NBC! CNN! Damn you, WOLF BLITZER!”
“You hound me all day, never speak of my wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

And then, in a twinkling, Trump sprawled on the floor,
Ivanka and Jared ran out the back door;
He tried to run too, it was just as he planned,
When in charged Bob Mueller, indictments in hand.

He was dressed all in black, with no fear in his eyes,
He knew he had proof of all of Trump’s lies;
There’d soon be some justice for Trump and his clan,
And America shouted, “Bob Mueller’s the man!”

His eyes -- how they twinkled, as he gazed down at Trump,
A small little man, nothing more than a chump;
He just couldn’t wait to fulfill his grand vision:
Trump and his sidekicks in federal prison.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
His agents did too, lifting Trump with a jerk;
He watched as they took him to put him away,
And thought to himself, “This has been a good day.”

He sprang to his car, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all sped like the flight of a missile;
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!