Now @ceo_uidai is enthralling us all. Did you know that identification is crucial to services? Did you also know that before 2009, people didn't have any form of ID? #Aadhaar to the rescue!
Oh no, people didn't know how to get IDs! They needed some form of ID for getting an ID! Ration cards and voter ID cards couldn't be used everywhere! @ceo_uidai 's niece had trouble while trying to do an internship! This was why they realised that #Aadhaar were the only solution!
We're getting told now how awesome #Aadhaar is and how secure it is. Noone can share your information! We've leapfrogged everyone by going from no ID to online ID, no paper ID in between! This is perfectly reasonable and in no way raises doubts about readiness for implementation!
Hey @SurakshaP_tnie , you remember all that incredible journalism you did about #Aadhaar exclusion for leprosy patients? All unnecessary, acc to @ceo_uidai , because they can give Aadhaar without it! Yay! Let's forget that rules for this have been sub-delegated and don't exist!
Did you know why they had to use random private agencies to collect all that sensitive, personal data? Because to do it through govt servants would take too long. So they got the Registrars who they did have some control over, to get an #Aadhaar themselves! Security worries gone!
Oh by the way, all those 49000 private operators whose contacts they terminated, that was only because they were demanding money for enrolment, not for #Aadhaar data breaches. Don't be like Justice Sikri and question how plausible that is. @ceo_uidai has all the answers, ok? Ok
Oh yay, the other projector is now working! See the technological might of @UIDAI ? Oh ye of little faith...
Now @ceo_uidai is tackling the problem of children. You know how #Aadhaar isn't supposed to be for kids below the age of 5? They send representatives to enrol kids through angaanwadis and schools without asking for parents' permissions. Don't look so shocked, Justice DYC!
Now Justice Sikri is asking questions again, about all that Jharkhand fake news. Don't these people know that in those cases the biometrics actually matched? And the shopkeeper unscrupulously said come tomorrow despite this? Forget those sworn affidavits, @ceo_uidai knows truth
Now we're hearing how the @ceo_uidai used to go collect rations for his own family back in the day. In all of this, everyone has forgotten that Justice Chandrachud asked for the figures on #Aadhaar authentication failures leading to denial of service. EVERYONE HAS FORGOTTEN
Total cost of each #Aadhaar card is less than $1, you hear that people? Enrolment, update, the works. Doesn't that make you feel secure? And all software done here. #MakeInIndia ftw!
Eh, why is this Justice Khanwilkar pointing out that the software wasn't developed in India. Ok, so we licenced some stuff like the biometric matching software from three reputed international companies. We have 6000 servers! 6000!
Now we shall subtly obfuscate the fact that this shoots down the claim that all software made in India, and instead focus on how foreign peeps including those companies don't have access to the #Aadhaar data.
We've been told in full detail, with laser pointer used to point to blobs on the projector, how #Aadhaar enrolment happens, and leads to completely unique identity.
Now we're learning about the authentication process from @ceo_uidai. Everyone is spellbound. There's the first encryption. Then the next. Then the next, etc. "The journey from here to here and back here takes milliseconds".
Oh no! We can't continue the great @ceo_uidai #Aadhaar presentation today! Cries of anguish ring out in court as CJI adjourns the case till Tuesday. Everyone is devastated. We were learning so much. And realising how this case is so unnecessary.
