Thread by @TheWittleDemon

Might as well tell you now lol. Give me a little time though because it’s sort of a long story 😂😂

I didn’t know I was pregnant for awhile (already in my 3rd trimester) and before you ask the birth control I was on made it so I didn’t have a cycle every month. So not having a period wasn’t an indicator for me. On top of that I didnt really gain any weight.

Me when I found:

So then I’m in denial for another month after that like there’s no way a Bitch is preggo. At this point I’m working in VA and away from everyone so I just decided not to tell anyone. My dumbass was like maybe it’ll just go away...

So I had already purchased tickets for a vacay in Germany and ya girl was not about to waste international flight money. So I was like if the boy comes on time I should be all good in the hood. So I came home for two seconds before hopping on the my flight to Germany.

So everything is going well no biggie but dawg this is a 14hr flight & there was a complimentary meal but everything had meat in it & you know I’m a vegetarian so I was like I can’t eat this but 14 hrs was too long to wait so I decided to eat the salmon hoping I wouldn’t get sick

No I don’t know if it was he salmon, the flight, or it was just my time but out of no where I start cramping up. I’ve still got like an hour left before we land. I just knew I had food poisoning. Y’all I was HURT

I’m like oooooh shit where are these cramps coming from? You know what I’ll just go to sleep. Sleep cures everything right

So anyway I make it until we land but when I wake up the cramps have gotten worse and I’m like okay I just want to make it to my hotel. Its my layover and I’m only here (Istanbul, Turkey) for 17hrs. But getting through customs took FOREVVVVVVVERRRRR

I’m literally gripping the railing trying to make it through the lines. At this point I feel like I’m about to pass out. I’m sweating. I feel like I have to vomit. I’m going through it. Then I’m like wait a minute bitch are you in labor?!!!

So my ass decides to google it. The internet was like well my good sis the only thing different between labor and Braxton Hicks is your water breaking. This was completely not helpful so now I gotta wait until then to knownif this is legit or not.

Either way it goes I’m not giving birth in this airport so I start gassing myself up bc I am NOT having a baby in this airport. I start talking to myself like Bitch what you’re not gonna do is give birth on the airport floor. So you need to get it together & make it to your hotel

I make it to my hotel & now I’m sure I’m in labor. There is no way in the world I’m not in labor because I can barely standup at this point. So I’m in a foreign country, where no one speaks english, I don’t know this country’s emergency number, & I have no clue what to do.

So in true millennial form I decided to @Youtube it 😂😂. If no one else had my back the internet would! So here my ass is in my hotel room all by my lonesome learning how to deliver my own baby

So yo it’s GAME TIME. I don’t have time to be nervous. It’s time to get shit done. I spring into action. Filling up the tub with warm water #WaterBirth, grabbing a towel to bite down on, grabbing another towel to wrap him/her up with whenever it pops out

It’s weird how focused a person becomes when they’re adrenaline starts going. Because at no point ever did I freak out. Like I just did what I had to do.

So anyway. I strip down and climb in the tub. The internet said there were a couple positions that people find the most comfortable. I picked the one that worked for me and I was like okay BOOM let’s birthed this baby.

So the internet said I shouldn’t start pushing until my contractions where 2mins apart. Bc you don’t want to exhaust yourself too early and then not have any energy when the kids ready to come, you know? And I’m like okay bitch you’ve got a timer on your phone. You can do this!

My contractions were already at a minute a part lol I was late as hell. I BARELY made it to my room. 😂😂😂 so I throw the towel in my mouth and start pushing. And I have NEVVVVEEERRRR felt any pain like this in my life. I felt like I was being split open. WHERE WAS MY EPIDURAL?!

Luckily it happened pretty quickly. I only had to push about 5-6x before a baby popped out. Lol now let me tell you babies are buoyant. That little joker said bloop and floated right on up to the top of the water 😂😂

At this point I have no clue what the sex of the baby is so after catching my breath I lift it up like “What is it?”

Also Side Note: #WaterBirths are not as pretty as what you see on @YouTube there was no tranquil, hippie music playing gently in the back ground, or amazing natural lighting. It gets MESSY.

Anyways ITS A BOYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!! And the very first thing I do is pull up his natal chart 😂😂😂 born March 7, 2018 in Istanbul Turkey 🇹🇷

Lol the story isn’t over yet 😂 he’s out but the placenta is still inside of me. Now according to the internet you’re not supposed to pull it out bc it has to seal itself back up or something idk lol.

Warning Viewer Discretion is Advised ⚠️

So I’m sitting with Young Xay laying on my chest waiting for the placenta to pass. The internet told me to rub my lower abdomen to persuade my placenta to come on out. So her I am baby in one arm rubbing my pelvis with the other hand lol

Can I just say that walking around with the umbilical cord hanging out of me totally gave me the impression of what it would be like to have a penis. 😂😂😂

So finally it feels like I’m having another contraction and I assume this is the placenta ready to drop it like it’s hot. So I shuffle to the bathroom and sit down on the toilet because idk where else to go 😂😂😂

Almost immediately as I sit down it plops out. The hotel had these sanitation baggies in the bathroom so I just picked it up by the cord and dropped it in the bag. Now it’s still attached to him so now I’ve got to google how to cut an umbilical cord.

So I didn’t have any clamps like it suggested but what I did have were shoelaces lol. Hear me out 😂. In Turkey everyone drinks tea/coffee so every hotel room had an electric kettle. So I just boiled some water to sterilize the laces so that I could use them as clamps.

And everyone knows that ya girl stays strapped 😎. I don’t go anyyyyyyyywhere without my knives. And because of this I’ll probably never go anywhere without them again.

Okay so it’s been a second so I may be a little iffy on the exact details but it went something like this. You’re supposed to measure off like 2inches from the stomach and tie one lace and then tie the other inch another inch from there. Now you cut the cord in between.

Now I haven’t been nervous this whole time but cuttingbthis cord is freaking me out lmao like what if I hurt this man?! So I’m poking the cord with the knife to see if it affects him.

Fortunately it doesn’t (which the internet said it wouldn’) so I cut right into that thang! And it’s tougher than it looks lol

Umbilical cord cut and I did a mighty fine job if I do say so myself 😌! At this point exhaustion is beginning to set in. But I need to clean up the bathroom because it looked like the set of a horror movie

So I clean up the bathroom, breastfeed my baby, and go to sleep. No I do not go to the hospital I take my ass to bed. 😂😂 so the next day I wake up for and get ready to go to the airport because I already paid for the cab the night before & even though I knew I couldn’t fly out

I didn’t know what I would need to leave the country with a newborn baby and I thought no better place to ask than the airport.

When I get there the airport workers are freaking out bc you can tell this baby is fresh. I legit didn’t have any baby clothes & made him something out of my favorite blue oversized button down (RIP 😢). Anyway they thought I was a human trafficker trying to smuggle out a baby.

So they called in customs, the police, a doctor & a nurse (to check the baby & me to see if I actually gave birth), and the airline higher ups. I was bombarded with questions (naturally) but finally I proved that I wasn’t a trafficker. During this I called the @USEmbassyTurkey.

Anyway there’s a knocked on the room that I’m in an someone comes in and says “they want to take your picture.” I’m thinking this was a part of the investigation. It was not lol. I walk out and there are press EVERYWHERE!!!

Idk how they found out but someone tipped them off to my story and they had all the questions lol. If you google my name and Istanbul Turkey articles will pop up 😂😂😂. It’s all in Turkish though so good luck with that lol 🤷🏾‍♀️

(These are the ladies who helped me)

Side Note:

Shoutout to @TurkishAirlines this was hands down the best flight, attendants, services, and overall workers I’ve ever experienced. Everyone was so nice! They bought him his first outfit lol. Because he was damn near naked when he arrived 😂

Anyway @TurkishAirlines shuttles me over to the US Consulate for free with a translator (really shoutout to them!) and when I get there a journalist pops out of nowhere trying to ask me question like ma’am! How did you even find me?!

So the translator is like like miss maybe later. The reporter was like okay I’ll wait. So I’m in the consulates for like 2/3 hours (it has been a superrrrrrrr long day). So as I’m inside I have to answer a bunch of the same questions & apply for his birth certificate & passport

After everything they say they’re going to take me to the hospital. It’s been almost 24hrs since I’ve given birth. But before I can go my consulate contact comes back & tells me I have to go out the back & get escorted by this special agent bc the press were too heavy out front.

To wrap up I go to the hospital get checked out everything is fine. He’s perfectly healthy! Lol the doctors were shocked to hear my story. I made national news & people would stop us to take pictures all the time & a random elderly woman grabbed my boob as I was breastfeeding

Because she was showing me the correct way to do it 😂. Because I gave them so much publicity Turkish Airlines paid for my hotel stay for two weeks, comped all my meals, upgrade @BBills_ & my return flights to business class and we enjoyed the lavish business lounge. The end 😂

Oh yeah and the press were there when we flew back to the states too 😂😂 I think I covered everything

Oh and no one knew I had a baby until days after I gave birth to him (not even my mom) so I sprang this story on everyone 😂😂😂😂

Here he is Xavier Ata Freeman born March 7, 2018 in Istanbul, Turkey! My little surprise bundle of international joy!

(His middle name is Turkish)

I don’t have a SoundCloud career to promote but if anyone want to cashapp ya girl it would be greatly appreciated. Babies are expensive.

cash.me/app/PVVGGQD