I got given the Ladybird Album of the Dad for Father's Day. It is 90% awful cheese. My kids are delighted by my reaction of horror. FML.
Apart from anything else, it's almost certainly put together by a millenial or Geny Z'er, as most of the tracks are what Glee says are nostalgia tracks for Gen X'ers (hint, it's nostalgia for American MOR rock of the 80's more than, you know, what I was listening to 1971-2001)
So, who wants me to take this apart a track at a time? Me, that's who.
Track 1: Journey, Don't stop believin'. A track I believe was virtually unknown this side of the Atlantic before Glee did it in 2009. Competent, clean cut, bland, vaguely aspirational cheese.
Track 2: Boston, More Than A Feeling. Overblown, but for an essentially solo project, insane. At least they give a shit. This will not be universally true of this compilation.
Track 3: Starship, We Built This City. Everything that's wrong with 80's MOR rock, in a song that is specifically about everything that's wrong with 80's MOR rock.
Track 4: Kiss, Crazy Crazy Nights. Just shit. Soulless, moronic, shit. Middle aged bastards churning out the last dregs of ten year old memories of excitement.
Track 5: Whitesnake, Here I Go Again. Hair rock must die. I'm thinking this must be Dean Winchester's second favourite compilation or something.
Track 6; REO Speedwagon, I Can't Fight This Feeling Any More. And that feeling is "I want to hit the eject button".
Track 7: Toto, Africa. Actually, I don't mind it. I mean, it's nonsense, but at least they sound like they're enjoying themselves.
Track 8: Alice Cooper, Poison. Is it about an abusive relationship, is it about drug addiction? Doesn't matter, proof that 80's rock by middle aged guys can actually be smart and good, if those involved give a crap.
Track 9: Berlin, Take My Breath Away. Snore. Painting by numbers power ballad.
Track 10: Foreigner, Cold As Ice. I dunno, pretty catchy, interesting choices, back when they were still acting like 70's musos farting around with 80's prodcution gear.
Track 11: Chicago, Hard to say I'm Sorry. Hey, if your partner ever tries to play this as part of an apology, you are legally allowed to murder them for this gaslighting bullshit.
Track 12: Meatloaf, Bat Out of Hell. Overblown beyond self-parody, knows what it is and gives zero fucks. But this is the radio edit, so stops before it gets operatically amazing. Bastards.
Track 13 Rainbow, Since You Been Gone. Dammit, I'm a sucker for a Russ Ballard number, and for a Ritchie Blackmore solo or two.
Track 14, Mr Mister, Broken Wings. Not so much a song as a musical mogadon.
Track 15, ZZ Top, Sharp Dressed Man. Billy Gibbons, my all time favourite guitarist. Like all great ZZ Top tracks, just an excuse for Billy to riff, which, yes.
Track 16: Ram Jam, Black Betty. Another excuse for, in this case, 70's vaguely proggish showing off. Nice.
Track 17: Pat Benetar, Hit Me With Your Best Shot. Never a hit over here, don;t know that I've heard it before, not sure I've heard it now, not Pat's best.
Track 18: Hall & Oates, You make my dreams. Another track that didn't trouble the UK charts, but is all over US nostalgia movies. so hey, dads must love it. Thoroughly OK pop. Inoffensive, I guess.
Track 19: John Waites, Missing You. "Can't Live" when you've decided you can.
Track 20: Lynnyrd Skynnyrd, Freebird. First half, whining defence of being a dick, second half, soaring, amazing guitar workout. Except, it's again the radio edit, so you really only get the first half.
And so ends CD1... Sorry folks, there's another two cd's to go. Chin up though, on the whole, the first is the worst. Not that the other two are stinker free...
CD2, track 1, Tina Turner, What's love got to do with it? I will hear no wrong of this track, and the history of who didn't record it just buckwild: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/What%27s_…
Track 2: RUN-DMC feat. Aerosmith, Walk this way. I mean, yeah, instrumental in getting some non-white faces on MTV, but also responsible for bringing Aerosmith back from the dead, so, swings, roundabouts.
Track 3: Lenny Kravitz, Are you gonna go my way? I prefer Hendrix over the tribute act, thanks.
Track 4: Hall & Oates, Out of Touch. Perfectly reasonable pop, again. I mean, would I be suspicious of anyone getting enthusiastic about Hall and Oates? A little, but maybe that reflects badly on me.
Track 5: Paul Simon, You Can Call Me Al. Of course, my least favourite track off Gracelands.
Track 6: Survivor, Eye of the Tiger. In it's own way, as overblown as Meatloaf, but so much more earnest. The song equivalent of a motivational trainer who clocks off the moment his appointment is over.
Track 7: Kenny Loggins, Danger Zone. Oh, the other Top Gun song, OK. Ugh.
Track 8: Roxy Music, Jealous Guy. The song is a good one (though again, another apology for at the very least being a controlling dick), but this is smooth bollocks Roxy Music, not mad proggy bastards Roxy Music.
Track 9: Cyndi Lauper, True Colours: Sincere, heartfelt, good. You know who doesn't like Cyndi? Bad people, that's who.
Track 10: Lou Reed, Walk on the Wild Side. Because dads love light jazz shuffle about the early 70's trans scene in NYC.
Track 11; The Cars, Drive. Live Aid killed this for me, sorry. Feel like someone's standing over me shouting "BE SAD! SADDER!"
Track 12: Poison, Every Rose Has It's Thorn. Hair rockers putting C in Country & Western.
Track 13: Patti Smith Group, Because the Night. Nothing wrong here.
Track 14: Jennifer Rush, The Power of Love. Big mouth singing. Never mind the lyrics, feel the volume.
Track 15: The Guess Who, American Woman. Ah, decent enough psychedelic blues jam, I guess.
Track 16: Bruce Hornsby & the Range, The Way It Is. Ah, remember when nice songs that were anti-racist got into the charts and you could introduce them to yer mam? Don't get that these days, I tell you.
Track 17: Huey Lewis & The News, The Power of Love. Yes, out of three songs with the same title from the 80's, the best is not on the album.
Track 18: Peter Cetera, The Glory of Love. Dripping with insincerity. Look, it's all over the carpet.
Track 19: Harry Nilsson, Everbody's Talkin'. Perky 60's alienation, which is definitely in my wheelhouse.
Track 20: Jeff Buckley, Hallelujah. Should have been the last cover version, but I think I prefer John Cale's...
OK, one more CD to go, buckle up.
CD3: Track 1: REO Speedwagon, Keep on Loving You. No, you can stop now.
Track 2: Wheatus, Teenage Dirtbag. The most recent track on on the album, and it's now old enough to vote. Also, it's the bowdlerized radio edit. So walk on the wild side can give head, but we can't say "kick my ass", FFS, this album.
Track 3: Toto, Hold the Line. Back into the Dean Winchester back catalogue, but it's fine.
Track 4: Meat Loaf with Cher: Dead Ringer for Love. 80's Meatloaf is mostly bulletproof. "Too overblown? Fuck you, we're having a Tijuana brass section and a doo-wop backing as well now."
Track 5: Train, Drops of Jupiter. One of my most hated tracks ever. Overproduced, sounds like a bitter stay at home angry at the girl who had enough self respect to quit the shitty town they grew up in. "Miss me?" "Do I know you?"
Track 6: The Calling, Wherever You Will Go. More songs for Prime Time US Drama closing scenes. Actually, the song is better than the performance, like the dregs of grunge trying a ballad.
Track 7: Crash Test Dummies, Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm. Maybe a little wilfully whimsical, but the production is 90's in a bottle.
Track 8: Spin Doctors, Two Princes. Well, again, it's 90's pop rock, and everyone's having a laugh, so why not?
Track 9: Daughtry, Home. Fucking stealth hymns. (disclaimer, Screen by 21 Pilots is a fucking amazing stealth hymn) Never heard this before this album, why ruin a good run now?
Track 10: John Mayer, No Such Thing. Again, unknown outside the US, incredibly bland, corporate friendly declaration of rebellion, like an early oughts Apple commercial.
Track 11: Love Affair, Hush. Is it me, or is this the least well known cover of Hush? Ah well, bunch of hippies going nuts, fine by me.
Track 12: America: Ventura Highway. For getting mellow, rather than high.
Track13: Survivor, Burning Heart. Revenge of Eye of the Tiger, dull work for hire.
(though bonus points for attempting "rising like a spire" to rhyme with fire, a lesser man would have settled for something ending "higher")
Track 14: Jefferson Airplane, White Rabbit. At least nominally the same band that killed us with "built this city", instead it's kids stories lead to drugs, YAYAYAYAYAY! And what a way to build a song.
Track 15: Deep Purple, Smoke on the Water. A live version with some teasing arpeggio at the start, as always a driving beat for a song about... writing the song. I know. It's all about that stupid riff and the solos.
Track 16: Jeff Healey, While my guitar gently weeps. Eh. I mean, sure, I guess.
Track 17: Santana, Black Magic Woman. Would have preferred the full version, because if you're not going to do the completely self indulgent solos, why fuckign bother? So, pointless radio edit AGAIN.
Track 18: Spirit, Taurus. Yes, it's completely THAT riff, but anything that brings solid musos to the table is OK by me.
Track 19: Cheap Trick, I Want You To Want Me. Yeah, the kinda bland original. Harmless fun pop, though, and a bastard earworm.
Track 20: Willie Nelson, On The Road Again. Nelson scratched out this song on a barf bag in about five minutes, and it beats the shit out of 90% of this collection. I was complaining about pop-country earlier today, and now this reminds me to STFU sometimes.
THAT'S IT, now you know what its like to share a long car journey with me when someone else is in charge of the music. I have opinions. Remember, kids, "Driver picks the music, Shotgun shuts his pie hole"
@threadreaderapp unroll please
