Thread by @RobertLepenies

Benefits of having three kids #1:
Absolutely noone (family & others) gives unprompted parenting advice anymore (probably because they gave up).

Benefits of having three kids #2:
Being able to say (in theory) things like: “well, *some* of my kids play Golf”

Benefits of having three kids #3:
Being able to switch from man to zone defense at home.

Benefits of having three kids #4:
Number of hugs/relationships in family increased exponentially.

Benefits of having three kids #5:
Extreme weightlifting challenge accepted, all day every day @JessicaCalarco

Benefits of having three kids #6:
Not feeling the urge to try out every parenting fad the second time round #babysigning

Benefits of having three kids #7:
Savings lots of money on babysitters (because noone in their right mind watches three kids). Winning!

Benefits of having three kids #8:
Monday morning. #thankyouschool #thankyoukindergarten.

Benefits of having three kids #9:

The thought that gets me through the day: in the far future, playing Tennis doubles with wife & kids (youngest as either ball boy or umpire)*

*i don’t play Tennis

Benefits of having three kids #10:
Didn’t pay attention in school? Don’t worry, you’ll get to go over basic alphabetization again. Real slow. Thrice.

Benefits of having three kids #11:
If you love parent teacher conferences, you’re in for a treat!

Benefits of having three kids #12:
Using all your obscure name choices. #middlenames #freebies

Benefits of having three kids #13:
No more rides for hitchhikers #boosterseats #fullmeansfull

Benefits of having three kids #14:
Bedtime stories become this weird fit-for-multiple audiences extravaganza in which NexoKnights, cute farm animals and scary monsters can happily coexist in one narrative.

Benefits of having three kids #15:
Let’s just say we’ve developed a lot of anti-bodies.

Benefits of having three kids #16:
Sample sizes (n = 3) pretty ok for qualitative comparative case studies.

Benefits of having three kids #17:
Guess who is *never* stopped by the Oxfam/WWF/Amnesty guys asking for a moment of my time?

Benefits of having three kids #18:
Laundry, cleaning, bathing time,
managing appointments and nights are surprisingly really... erm, nope that was the other list. That part sucks. #dadlife #adulting

Benefits of having three kids #19:

Knowing every parent, their kids, networks and backstories in the neighborhood. #theoriginalfacebook #connected

Benefits of having three kids #20:
Immediate acquisition of the skill to fall asleep immediately, wherever, no matter how noisy, bright or uncomfortable
#car #train #airplane #parkbench #ThingsKidsHaveTaughtMe #parenting

Benefits of having three kids #21:

Constantly recognizing that public care workers, such as teachers, kindergarten & hospital staff are society’s real MVPs. #thanks

Benefits of having three kids #22:

Developing super-human skills in quickly and accurately reciting Dr. Seuss stories.

Benefits of having three kids #23:

Being able to understand social movement theory much better, and why popular mass protests can be quite effective.
Also: developing a secret liking for benevolent dictatorships. #nudging #sorryeverythingisaboutwork #sorrynotsorry

Benefits of having three kids #24:

Inventors of washing machine, dishwasher, disposable diapers & @netflix - we heart you (except Peppa Pig, you can go to hell).

Benefits of having three kids #25:

Having a competition with your suffering co-parent about how often you have to repeat the same sentences over and over again. “We need to leave! Put on your coat!” #theansweristoomany

Benefits of having three kids #26:

The increasing likelihood that at least one of them actually does what you tell them at a given point in time. #TheResistance

Benefits of having three kids #27:

#coffee never tasted better

Benefits of having three #kids #28:

Kids realize early on that democracy is a sham.

#justkidding #liberalinstitutionsalltheway
#notajokeintheageofTrump

Benefits of having three kids #29:

Christmas, Halloween & Easter turn from snoozing borefests into magical celebrations full of lights, colors, hopes, dreams & nasty stomachaches afterwards.

Benefits of having three kids #30:

Socks‘ sizes are virtually indistinguishable at any age, making for perfect substitutes.

Benefits of having three kids #31:

The baby has seen Back to the Future.

Benefits of having three kids #32:

People unexpectedly do stuff for us out of pity #runningtheme #stilltakeit #parentinghacks

Benefits of having three kids #33:

One of them usually laughs at my #dadjokes (/end for now)