In the middle of adjusting my meds (doctor supervision) again, and I’m at the super fun stage where I’m googling “side effects” to figure out why I feel weird and unideal
Currently we’re ramping up the Lamictal a smidge. This is a delicate proposition. One of the potential side effects is the Fatal Rash™, which I have never gotten, but I *have* had the Excruciating Back Pain and Crushing Depression.
After several (supervised) changes, I am now an Expert Lamictal Adjuster. The trick is not to ramp the dosage too quickly. My doctor would always say “just start taking the new increase, it’s fine.” My doctor would always be wrong. It WAS fine when I did it my way:
1) Week 1: Fill the prescription. Give the bottle the silent treatment. 2) Week 2: Open the bottle; stare at pills to establish dominance. 3) Week 3: Scratch pill between the ears. NEVER grab its tail. 4) Week 7: Spend quality time with your pills; long walks are good.
5) Month 3: Shave tiny grains off the increase with a pill cutter. Contemplate taking them. 6) Year 2: Begin taking your medication crumbs. I AM NOT A DOCTOR. 7) If side effects feel unlivable, or you have the Fatal Rash™, talk to your doctor immediately.
Short version, I have always ramped up hella times more slowly than anyone suggested, and when I do that, I only have the minor/inevitable side effects. “You can jump straight to another 50.” “Uh, I will not be doing that. Last time, I ended up crawling up the stairs. NAH.”
The key here is that I managed to get a doctor I can talk to, who listens to me. I know that can be difficult to find. It’s just important to find someone who will listen when you say “We need to do this differently” or “This is not working for me and we need to reverse.”
I mention this partly because I talk about meds pretty openly anyway, but I imagine that more people may be, or have already been, seeking help for mental health nowadays. It is *extremely important* to start or adjust these medications as safely as possible.
I advocate pretty strongly for pharmaceutical treatment *if it helps you.* If they don’t work or your quality of life suffers in a way you don’t feel is worth it, it is equally important to be able to tell your doctor that and change/reduce/eliminate meds.
The trade-off is that “bipolar II” is, in fact, an official diagnosis on my insurance paperwork. And so “pre-existing condition” is an especially ominous phrase to me nowadays.
One of the reasons I tend to use the phrase “mental health” is because I believe that it’s a term relevant to everyone. I have mental illnesses, and you may not. But, as with physical health, we all have various qualities of mental health.
You may have an event-triggered depression (grief, job loss, breakup, *gestures at everything*). You may have a lifelong chemical imbalance (I can trace my symptoms back to early childhood). Both fall under mental health, and everyone deserves to be able to seek help and support.
And those are just conditions I’m personally familiar with, that’s not even including many, many others. I think we can all look around this country, certainly, and I’m sure others, and see how inadequate mental healthcare is both a personal and a public crisis.
I didn’t expect to drift over in this direction, but there it is. Many, many people need medical help/support for mental health, and it’s often prohibitively difficult or *actively being taken away.* And it’s already difficult to manage in ideal conditions.
ADDENDUM: One reason I say “I am not a doctor” is that ramping up Lamictal this way works for me and was my-doctor-approved. Some pills *should not be cut.* This is tongue-in-cheek advice; talk to *your* doctor.
