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Jonny(!) @jonnywaistcoat
, 16 tweets, 6 min read Read on Twitter
So. Y'all remember this picture, right? It's adorable, charing and all over the shop since it first appeared in June last year. Well, there's more. Thing is, the National Aquarium of New Zealand has done it, as advertised, EVERY MONTH since then and, folks, it's a ride. Strap in.
July is criminally absent from the NANZ facebook page, but we rejoin our penguins in August, with some lightweight mischief from Pepper (nothing in the league of Timmy's assult, though) and the punctual, but somewhat mundane virtues of the Captain.
Penguin Antics 4/10
Twitter, meet Mo. He's about to rock the world of Being a Penguin in New Zealand: he's a hoarder, all-round bad boy and STEALS FISH FROM OUT OF YOUR MOUTH. Meanwhile we have Flip teaching us all to stand up for our sweethearts when those dang kids come around
Penguin Antics: 8/10
September gets violent, surpassing even Timmy's infamous push. Dora has been attacking her keepers! Especially poor Tall Matt - noone needs that workplace hostility. Oh, and Captain's back, being... I would say dull, but the capitalisation makes me wonder...
Penguin Antics 7/10
October calms things down a bit, with the worst offender being a lazy "egg-hogger" by the name of Mr Mac. Get in the water, mate, and give someone else a go on the egg! More importantly: look who's turning his life around! Good work, Timmy.
Penguin Antics: 5/10
Mo's back, and he's worse than ever. Now he's not even eating the fish! Just DROPPING THEM IN THE SAND. What a dickhead. And lets be honest, Jack's there out of clear favouritism - I remember when that sort of behavior got you dubbed an "egg-hogger".
Penguin Antics 7/10
Eagle(boo!)-eyed folks may have spotted I got a month out of sync, and the last one should have been for December, not for November as might have been assumed. We shall resume with the New Year!
New Year, and Dora's back as the naughtiest, but far from attacking Tall Matt, she's now demanding an escort to the feeding station. Hmm... If I didn't know better, I'd think Dora had a little crush... Oh, and there's Lulu, who is apparently just lovely.
Penguin Antics 6/10
February is an emotional rollercoaster as the new naughty penguin is mean to reformed badboy Timmy! It took him an HOUR, Tux! Not cool. And Mr Mac is back as best penguin with a touching display of love. Your boyfriend ain't shit to Mr Mac.
Penguin Antics: 8/10
Timmy no! You were doing so well! Fellas, don't swim went you're moulting: it's nasty. Meanwhile Pepper, a new face on the board, is taking steps to cross the human/penguin divide and repair some of the damage that Dora has done.
Penguin Antics 6/10
Oh. Shit. Looks who's back, stealing April's top spot like he steals EVERYTHING ELSE. It's Mo, getting so devious and brazen even the keepers seem to respect his criminality. He should take a lesson from Flip: now there's a bird the knows how to penguin.
Penguin Antics 7/10
Wow. Just wow. For May, let us take a moment to appreciate the level Mo has reached. Outright. Obnoxious. Crimes beyond listing, but it's his attitude that gets to the keepers. And hey, there's a new penguin - Burny! He seems to be doing great.
Penguin Antics 9/10
Oh no! I spoke too soon. Burny's back, but it's bad news. He's fallen in with the wrong crowd, and the wrong crowd is Mo! And now he's gone all face-pecky. Also, How is Tux STILL trying to push Timmy off a pier? Draco's helping, but June is penguin anarchy.
Penguin Antics: 8/10
And we come up to date with keepers overtly cheering on vigilante justice, as Burny turns the skills he learned from Mo right back on him. Good? Naughty? Burny lives in a world of greys. No gritty anti-heroics from Flip, though, who cheekily avoids the scales.
Penguin Antics 9/10
It's been correctly pointed out to me that my phrasing here is very misleading, as we HAVE seen Pepper before, just not as Good Penguin. If you recall August, they were "dropping their food" - the sort of basic nonsense got you called "naughty" before Mo stepped up the game.
It's August, and penguin love is in the air... Mo's fall continues, as Tux takes a break from pushing Timmy off piers to make a move on one of Mo's ladies. Meanwhile Betty (good swimmer) steps in to help single mum Elmo with parenting. Just gals being pals.
Penguin Antics: 8/10
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