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Regular Frog @FrogCroakley
, 3 tweets, 1 min read Read on Twitter
When I used to work at a public aquarium, I was supervising the big shallow ray tank when a teenager made a brazen attempt to wrestle a dogfish out of the water and confidently walk away with it. He seemed so aggrieved that I objected to this, I almost let him.
When I'm back I might do a big thread of stories from when I used to be Shit Aquaman
(I will genuinely be alright without any fish puns cheers folks x)
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PSA for anyone keen on buying my big book of fictional video games - Amazon seems to be dispatching them a bit late for Christmas, but Waterstones can get them to you on time! waterstones.com/book/100-best-…
I have _no idea_ how Amazon works. I was delighted when loads of people RTed stuff about 100 Games this week, but Amazon taking 1 week plus to ship is disappointing. I can cope with the responsibility of marketing my published work, but I feel a bit powerless over distribution!
FWIW, I'm really sorry I keep coming out here on the beg for you all to buy the book. The truth is, for authors who aren't massive names, 90% of marketing after launch month comes down to us peddling our wares online, hoping we don't alienate folks by talking like salespeople.
Read 6 tweets
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If you're still shopping for christmas, this book will sort out everything for 8 quid. It's 100 completely fictional games, reviewed in depth & illustrated by professional games artists, and the person retweeting this will tell you just what a laugh it is: amazon.co.uk/Best-Video-Gam…
Thrill at the groundbreaking annelid business simulation of WORM SALESMAN '84!
Sob at the deep, deep personal pain on display in GRIEF COPS!
Read 7 tweets
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Just had my first proper advert dad moment going through departures at berlin-tegel. After 5 minutes of confusion over what to do with the baby's pushchair, the security lads politely commanded me to fully disassemble it, as a massive queue of waiting businessmen watched on.
We'd already held everyone up for ages, so I was feeling acutely anxious, & suddenly the pressure of the moment folded some valve of my brain completely shut. I forgot all my German, most of my English, & every conception of the pushchair as something more than an abstract shape.
I was just sort of pawing at the joints of the thing, making quiet, plaintive honking sounds - all my memory of the infernal engine's folding mechanism had vanished like snow before piss, but I figured I could postpone humiliation by at least *miming* that I was putting it down.
Read 9 tweets

Related threads

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On 1/21/17 @ the pink p-hat march , MADONNA said,”I dream every day of blowing up the WH”. DeNiro, said,”I want to punch Trump in the face”.He led a chant at the Tony. Awards, let’s see if we remember,”F-TRUMP,F-TRUMP,F-TRUMP!”Deranged Rep Waters, charged her sycophantic
Mob with’”chase them in restaurants, at the grocery store, at the gas station, and get in their face and tell them they are not welcome here!” SPARTICUS Booker commanded, “”that you shld get in their faces”. Brennan completely and deliberately forgot to mention, Hodgkinson the
Unsuccessful assassin. Richard Hodgkinson,sprayed a baseball field w/bullets that was fielding the REPB Congressional team, critically injuring Rep Scalisse. He omitted the fact that he was a rabid Sanders supporter. VP BIDEN,”I want to take Trump out into a back alley, and
Read 15 tweets
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Sec. Mattis Media Availability at the Pentagon

***Lots on Syria, Iran***

@drawandstrike @ThomasWictor @HNIJohnMiller @catesduane @rising_serpent @_ImperatorRex_ @Debradelai @GodlessNZ @almostjingo @tracybeanz @MAGALisaHartz @HeshmatAlavi
@ScheyChris

dod.defense.gov/News/Transcrip…
***I fucking love Mattis...

...Mattis on DoD/FEMA response to hurricane***

I don't think you reported much on it so that's probably a good sign, isn't it? (Laughter.)

SEC. MATTIS: Cheer up now, Barbara.

(LAUGHTER)

SEC. MATTIS: Just had to throw that in.
***On Syria

SEC. MATTIS: We are in Syria. Obviously, the fight is ongoing in the middle Euphrates's River Valley, and this is downstream now as you know from this is the last probably, I think some will say two percent, less than two percent of land.
Read 115 tweets
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Election security

Sec. Kirstjen M. Nielsen Remarks to the National Election Security Summit: As Prepared for Delivery

@drawandstrike @ThomasWictor @HNIJohnMiller @catesduane @rising_serpent @_ImperatorRex_ @Debradelai @GodlessNZ @almostjingo @TheChillum

dhs.gov/news/2018/09/1…
Introduction

Thank you Sec Ashcroft for that kind introduction. I’m glad to be here in Missouri and eager to spend some time with all of you today.

I’d like to begin by noting that tomorrow marks an important anniversary in our country’s history—the attacks on Sept 11th, 2001.
Nearly 3,000 innocent people died that day, making it the deadliest terrorist attack to ever occur on American soil. In the days following the attack, our fear and incredulity were replaced by defiance and determination.
Read 70 tweets
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In 2015, about three months to the elections, my firm was approached by a party’s flag bearer in a state. Our mandate was to help make him governor. We negotiated fees with lots of zeros and I was to be paid. I asked them for two weeks before the financials are consummated.
I discreetly took my team to the state and conducted a scientific opinion poll. What I found was shocking. Fixed a meeting with the potential client and asked that his wife be present in the meeting. Just him and his wife. No other parties . He agreed.I sat with him and gave him
The shocking news: “Sir, first , my biases. I am unequivocally and unashamedly supporting Buhari for the presidential elections. Is that a problem?”. He told me immediately that was a problem. “ how can the man who wants to manage my elections be supporting a different candidate
Read 9 tweets
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Some negotiation tips for people not used to negotiating:

- First, talk to people (people! don’t just look up data!) who have been in similar situations— ie if you’re an engineer asking for a raise, talk to other engineers about what they make & raises. Be educated. Get advice.
- The above educates you, but also builds up confidence which may be even more important— you see others who’ve done this negotiation, you can too
- If negotiating money, don’t name a number early. Describe the situation, give them data, hear their side first— context is valuable
- This is hard, but so much of negotiation is being positive, collaborative, AND firm in your stance all at the same time. Mind your attitude.
- People like options. Don’t overwhelm someone with choice, but always have in mind other solutions you’d be happy with.
Read 6 tweets
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#unhackthevote
Rabbit Hole Thread 1

We know that DHS warned at least 21 states that their voter registration databases were targeted by Russian government hackers seeking vulnerabilities and access to the U.S. election infrastructure.
We also know that DHS didn't notify the States being Targeted until October of this year. We know that the States Control their Voter Registration Files. So if the States didn’t know they were being targeted how the hell did DHS know that the files were not touched?
Why was Russia Targeting Voter Registration Systems from as early as last February and in some States through December two months after the Election?
Read 23 tweets

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