(The Fight Of Conscience)
As soon as I cleared out the dinner table, I went into the bedroom, not bothering to say goodnight to Kenny in the living room. I knew he was going to be coming to bed soon enough.
A THREAD (copied from a friend Uju Onyechere)
”Babe, what is the excuse today? It has been 2 weeks for Christ sake. How am I supposed to be happy
”Omololami, you know I am not opposed to prayer and fasting. I love God too and I go to church but you cannot honestly expect me not to have
I was so angry at that statement and I flared up,
”Seriously Kenny, are you kidding me right now? What happened to self control? This just shows how far you have fallen from the faith.
”Oh so now I am a sex machine? You married me for the sex?” I asked
I walked out of the room and went into the kitchen heartbroken. As I went about making Kenny’s lunch that he usually takes to work I was so sad.
”You didn’t take your food” I said.
”Take that rubbish food and get out of my sight. I don’t want your food, now or ever until you learn to respect me
We had a lot of disagreements over sex in the last two weeks but I had never seen Kenny so bitter before.
This work is copied from Uju Onyechere
”Madam, have u sorted out ur issues yet?” he said.
”What issues Kenny? Please come n have ur dinner”.
I was quite shocked and kind of speechless that he immediately realized what my plan was.
Lola, get it straight, I am nt askin u not 2 fast. Wt is wrong wit hvin sex btw 6pm that u break ur fast and midnight that the next day starts? That is all I am asking” he tried to negotiate.
”What is unclean about sex between husband and wife babe? It is totally biblical”
”Let me tell you something Lola, this is the last time I will have this discussion with you.
”What do you mean by that Kenny? God forbid such confession?” I said immediately
By day 60 of my fasting and prayer, I was officially frustrated.
Kenny and I had become total strangers in the house. He had not eaten my food in over 6 weeks and I was officially worried. He had started coming home quite late and we did not even talk anymore.
”Don’t wait up for me. I wont be coming home tonight”.
”Where are you? Why wont you come home?”
His reply made me burst into tears. ”Please ask the holy spirit to reveal it to you in prayer”.
My marriage is in trouble.
Episode 3 tomorrow
I decided dt night dt I have had enough of Kenny’s erratic behaviour n we needed counselling. I waited 4 him 2 cum home d nxt morning bt he neva showed up. I called him ard noon when I was getting worried but he did not pick my call. I got a text shortly after saying,
I decided it was time to seek counsel from my pastor’s wife
As I sat down with Mummy as we normally call her that evening after a word of prayer and
”Honour your father and mother, that your days might be long” I quickly replied wondering why we were talking about my parents when it was my marriage that needed healing.
”He loves God? You are still defending his actions? A man that cannot agree with you in prayer? That will not deny his body to feed his spirit? She asked me.
”Anyway the deed has been done. We need to find a way forward. You see the devil is not resting. He is obviously seeking to devour your marriage. Remember the scripture
”The devil knows this fast is going to liberate your marriage and he wants to stop it at all cost. The flesh will be satisfied eventually but you need to be spiritually fortified first. So make sure you complete it in total consecration to God”.
”Oh don’t worry Lola, he will come home. He is like the prodigal son, he will surely return. Let us pray my dear”.
By the time I left my pastor’s house after about two hours of prayer. I felt stronger and better.
It has been a week since I finished fasting and Kenny has still not spent a single night in the house. Every morning he came home to dress for work and didn’t come home till the next morning.
Next, I Googled, ”How to seduce your husband"
When I did not get any response an hour later, I sent another one I found online.
”I can’t focus, all I can think about is what you will do to me if you were here with me.”
Still no response, I sent this 30 minutes later.
I got a response after this saying,
”Please I am in a meeting with the board”
”Just thinking about you inside of me…”
He responded immediately,
”Stop this rubbish Omolola”
”Please come home and stay tonight. I accept I was wrong. I want to make it right and make it up to you. Please give me a chance, I love you baby”.
He responded simply with,
I must have slept off on the sofa because the sound of the door being opened woke me up the next morning at about 7am. Kenny never showed up last night.
Episode 5 in abit...
On Saturday morning when Kenny walked into the house, I had decided enough was enough and I was not going to pay for my sins forever. He had no right whatsoever to keep sleeping outside the house under the guise of anger.
”Where do you think you are coming from oga?” I shouted.
He looked at me like I had suddenly grown two heads and to my surprise he replied, ”Sunrise hotel”.
”Is that where you have been staying?”
”Yes I got a room there” he answered and looked at me, ”Is that all? he asked.
”No, that is not all Kenny and don’t make me feel stupid.
”Madam, you asked me where I have been and I answered you. How am I acting ignorant?”
”Kenny, once again, I am sorry”.
”Well, I am sori 4 depriving u of sex n fasting without ur agreement. I am sorry 4 being inconsiderate of ur feelings. Please can we just go back 2 how we were?”
”Okay, I have heard u” he said with a straight face
”Lola I said I have heard. Please don’t stress me. I want to ride around the estate on my bicycle for a while. Is that okay?”
”Okay, that is fine. Do you promise to stay at home from today?” I asked
I nodded n got out of his way n he immediately went to the room and changed into his riding outfit. He always looked so handsome in his tights and t-shirt whenever he wanted to exercise and watching him come out of the bedroom,
”Oh Lord, help me. You said we shall not die. God, please keep my husband. I will not be a widow in my youth oh lord.”
Next Episode soon
About Eight hours after, I finally sat in the office of the doctor to get a detailed explanation on Kenny’s condition. All I had been told as I waited was that he was alive and he had been taken in for ultrasound and later for surgery.
Eventually, I called my sister-in-law who came to wait with me and was able to calm me down. I had to leave the hospital briefly to use the cash machine and make some
”Mrs Ayorinde, thank u so much for ur patience” the doctor started, but I quickly cut him short.
”Sir, please just go straight to the point, how is he? What happened? What was the surgery for?
Madam, I will ansa all ur qstns but I need u to relax a bit.
Okay, pls go on I said.
ur husband is fine n d surgery was successful. He suffered frm testicular trauma as a result of d force of his testicles on d bicycle wen d accident occurred
”Please relax and let’s not jump the gun here. I didn’t say he doesn’t have testicles again.
”Okay doctor, thank you so much. So when will we be discharged”.
We eventually got home the next day after staying in the hospital all night. His sister left us in the hospital later in the evening after confirming that Kenny was okay.
”Darling are you okay? I asked after he had settled down on the bed.”
My mouth was agape. I just did not understand the reason for such anonymity.
”Kenny, why will you say all these to me? Why? What exactly have I done to destroy your so called happiness so much?”
I sat there in silence not knowing what to say and after a while I just got angry.
My conversation wit Kenny made me realize he didn’t value me as his wife and so I made a decision to give him space. I called my mum and told her I was coming home for a week. I was able to convince her Kenny supported my decision and I packed my bags.
”I listened to everything you said and I have decided we probably need to give each other some space. I am taking a break and travelling to my parent’s house”. I said
”Ehen, so the other day, when I bought sexy lingerie and waited for you at home,
”You want to go? Fine! Get the hell out but you just might not meet this marriage when u come back”.
”Like I said, I will take the time apart to pray, God will sustain our home,” I told him emphatically.
Late in the night that day, while I sat in my parent’s sitting room, my mum was trying to get stories out of me.
”Mum, he is busy with work, that’s the same thing I told dad before”.
”That doesn’t mean he should not spend a weekend with us. We have not seen him since the wedding.”
”Isn’t that why I am here? At least once you see one of us
”Okay , no problem. I tried to call him earlier dt we have seen his wife but he was nt pickin his call”.
”I am sure he will probably call u back 2mrw. He is probably resting early now dt I am not home”.
”Mummy, did he complain to u? I am trying my best”.
”Why are you getting defensive? Is everything okay? I hope this delay in pregnancy isn’t putting you under pressure?”
”There is no cause for alarm yet. It’s not even up to a year yet. I waited 3 years before I was able to get pregnant with your elder brother and then you so everything will be fine.”
The hard knock on the door startled us.
”Mum are you expecting anyone so late? Its 11pm already and dad has gone to bed”.
”No I am not but it could be that our neighbours need something, go and open the door”.
5 days later, I woke up once again wit screams as has been the practice since that horrible night. My dad was immediately by my side soothing me as d tears rolled dwn my face
”Daddy, I am afraid. Kenny has not come”.
”I know he hasn’t. I will still call him again. Just try and get stronger first okay?”
”He hasn’t picked my calls dad. Since you told him, he has not picked my calls once”.
”Please, I am married. I beg you.”
”So what are you doing in daddy’s house fine girl, your husband is not servicing you well abi? I will help his matter. He needs help”.
(The Fight Of Conscience)
After a whole month of daily calls to Kenny with no response, I finally gave up. I knew my marriage was over. I had gone through the full cycle from tears to pain in my heart to anger to being just blank.
As always my mum walked into my bedroom dt Friday afternoon once again to ask what happened between my husband and I. She had soon figured out something was wrong but I always refused to tell her.
”Mum, please I don’t have the strength to argue.”
I finally relented. I didn’t even have a plan B.” Mum, Kenny and I have serious problems. Our marriage is not even up to a year and we don’t even know how to move forward.”
”Okay tell me everything.”
”Mummy haba, wat did I do wrong? Hw can Kenny just abandon me here? His love is fleeting mum, it can’t even stand the test of time.” I said with deep anger n disappointment.
”Mum, you are the one that said I should keep our matters private.”
”Okay mum, what do we do now? Do you think there is any chance for Kenny and I.”
”Of course, your father and I have had greater battles that we have overcome. Marriage is filled with battles, we fight, win,
”Mum, what about Kenny? He took a lot of wrong steps too.”
True to her word, by 11 am on Saturday, which was the next day, we had arrived my house. As soon as I saw Kenny’s car parked in
”Mummy, Lola does not want to be married. In less than a year of marriage she has shown blatant disregard and disrespect both for me and this home and I am sick of it. Does she think if it was another man,
”Please don’t threaten us with tales of unfaithfulness. So you want an award because you didn’t cheat? I said.
I listened as my mum and Kenny started talking. I truly listened to his hurts and pains as he opened up to my mum and for the first time I understood the gravity
”Mummy, I warned Lola, I warned her not to go. I haven’t been able to get that image out of my head eva
”Kenny, don’t say she freely gave it. We all still feel the pains of that night most especially your wife. The pain she is still in as a result of
”I warned her, I warned her mummy” Kenny insisted.
My mum bgan 2 talk to Kenny abt us communicating beta, abt undastandin each oda n bein quick 2 4giv. She spoke n fear gripped my heart as I looked @ Kenny’s face
”Both of you need to pray, be patient and communicate,” mum said again.
”Mummy, truth be told, I am not sure if this marriage still exists. I don’t even know where to start with Lola,” Kenny said.
Okay mummy, thank you ma.” Kenny said.
”Baby, I am sorry.” I said 2 Kenny as he went back 2 sit on the sofa n I sat beside him.
”We will babe”, I said with renewed confidence, ”we will, one day at a time.”