“Many of us know it by memory.” —Trump on the Gettysburg address
"Four score and seven years ago -- that's a lot of scoring, believe me -- our fathers -- and I do mean 'fathers,' people -- brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men -- men! -- are created equal."
"Now we are engaged in a great civil war -- it's the greatest civil war, a lot of people are saying that, folks -- testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure."
"We are met on a great battle-field of that war. (You seen my generals? Central casting!) We have come to dedicate a portion of that field --we could just dedicate all of it, frankly -- as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that the nation might live."
"It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this. (See, I can be proper. So presidential!) But, in a larger sense -- the largest sense of all, no one has a larger sense -- we can not dedicate, we can not consecrate, we can not hallow, this ground."
"The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. (Well, maybe I could detract, who knows.) The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, because the fake news media won't cover it."
"...but it can never forget what they did here. (I have one of the great all-time memories, everyone knows that.) It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced, like finishing THE WALL!"
"It is rather for us to be here dedicated -- and I mean really dedicated, not like the Dems, they don't give us a single vote on health care -- to the great task remaining before us, say it with me now: MAKING... AMERICA... GREAT... AGAIN." [thumbs up sign here]
"...that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- and those guys had devotion to spare, not like the Dems, they're just devoted to fake news and the witch hunt, WITCH HUNT, NO COLLUSION! --"
"...that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, -- yes, you can say Merry Christmas again, people! -- shall have a new birth of freedom --"
"...and that government of the people, by the people, for the people -- especially the people in my family -- shall not perish from the earth. No perishing, and no collusion! Trump 2020!"
[walks off to "You Can't Always Get What You Want" blaring]
[walks off to "You Can't Always Get What You Want" blaring]
