Discover and read the best of Twitter Threads about #secondcivilwarletters

Most recents (7)

News has reached the front. There are new #SecondCivilWarLetters. The final battle is on and victory against President Trump’s “War on Intelligence” is near. Read on.

General Biden:

President Trump has run out of corners to round in his “War on intelligence”. The fires of contagion have encircled his wagon full of lies and there appears to be no escape. He lost the battle of COVID without even trying to win. Surrender!

General Harris:

President Trump’s “War on Intelligence” is nearing it’s end. It appears that both the President’s Secret Healthcare Plan and his cargo of bombshell revelations were both lost in the mail. They have run out of ammunition. Victory is near

Read 10 tweets
My Little Red Hen,
We are exhausted from caging toddlers and we found that the local saloon would not serve as as our hats were red and did not suit. This civil war lacks civility. Old man Dershowitz was runnin' wild today howlin' at the moon. The war has done stole his wits...
General Sessions has promised that all the men with no conscience won't have to drill tomorrow. Colonel Pruitt has been taken by the fits and burns every field and poisons every river willy-nilly. We worry on account of he seems addle-pated but wont no one right him.
We hear from the capital that all is well and Mizz Devos told us we were winnin'. We need torches and are low on facts. We skirmished with some blues in a small town called Killpeopleburg. Lost some fine people. We were cruelly mislead into this costly and unjust conflict
Read 4 tweets
My Dearest Maria,
Today we were engaged in a great battle just outside the Golden Gate. As our brigade was about to encamp for the afternoon after a long and arduous bike ride from the Presidio we encountered a whole division of Kekistan regulars...
They were the feared Spencer's Raiders (Das Alt-Reichengroupen) which had plagued the streets of Charlottesville. The enemy spotted our advance guard and opened fire with a cannonade of talking points memos. General Flores sounded the advance and our brave men and women dug...
defensive positions including a complete brestworks and ramparts around the the WiFi hotspot. I had a meme fly right past my head which knocked off my garrison cap. Luckily your devoted husband was uninjured.

The enemy breached our forward positions and were advancing on the..
Read 8 tweets
My Dearest Beloved,
It has been but a fortnight since we last saw the enemy but their presence is felt as we march through the chard remains of Bowling Green, MAGA hats litter the ground everywhere.
It would be incorrect to say there was a massacre, but keeping with the times I will do so anyway.

While the other side has natural advantages in their sheer abundance of camouflage vests our rations, from what prisoners tell me, are considerably better.

Can you believe they have naught a scrap of avocado toast on the other side!? One can’t imagine such a life. I have furthermore come to learn that very few of their military commissaries have Edison light blues, such barbarity.

Read 40 tweets
My dearest husband,

My regiment dressed in silence this solemn morn donning sensible sweaters for what was to come. At last this terrible war is upon us.

While smartly dressed, the enemy's resolve withered beneath our gestures of defiance

I shall make today's cookout after all
p.s. feel free to steal this pic and make your own #secondcivilwarletters
Note: photo credit to Andrew Shurtleff for Daily Progress.

This pic has been memed a thousand times but Mr. Shurtleff/Daily Progress may well have an opinion on its use.
Read 3 tweets
You must remember that the secret to all of this is not to be afraid of fear. When you can really allow yourself to be afraid, and you don't resist the experience of fear, you are truly beginning to master fear.
The stage is set
Actors are a running to the dark corners like roaches in the light
The ones that are the loudest are the main characters as no one can be that deceived
It's raining #TheRainMakers
Here comes the PAIN! #PatriotsFight
God's in Control
#WWG1WGA #KAG #GreatAwakening
Thread by @_VachelLindsay_
1. I have no doubt that Obama will be indicted and found guilty of at least THREE major felonies, just from his central involvement in the framing of Donald J Trump
@threadreaderapp #ObamaGate #MAGA #WWG1WGA #QAnon #LockThemUp…
Read 139 tweets

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