Thread by @GbengaWemimo

'You are a mistake' the words blurted out from her mouth
She really didn't mean to say that but he had been so mean to her
He was her husband after all, her own man
But he didn't behave like it
She was equally sorry she said so in front of their children
though they were toddlers

She knew it got him
That was all she wanted to do
Hit him back
He had this uncanny ability of making her feel incompetent
Useless even
His words cut her to the quick
He was so matter-of-fact like
Like a boss
She didn't intend to marry a Lord
She fell in love with a friend
Not God

He drove on in silence
He weighed her words
He had been talking nonstop for an hour
She did something unthinkable
It was not her first time
It was as if she was not prepared at all to be a wife and a mother
He always had to do her maternal thinking for her
Was she not trained?

The lapses started showing weeks after they got married
She couldn't take correction without crying
What was all the tears for?
Cheap blackmail
He couldn't stand it
Once he raised an issue about something she wasn't doing right
The Kainji dam will overflow
Tears solve nothing!

As they got home that day he resolved he no longer wanted to be married to her.
If he was a mistake
And she had said so
Well, so was she
They needed to unmake the mistake
Move on with their lives
But first he would inform their pastor
He had to know why it must end right away!

Pastor listened
Pastor: Wow! She actually said that to you?
He: Yes sir. I feel exactly the same way. I want out of this marriage
Pastor laughed
Pastor: Do you know how many times my wife has left this house and said she wanted out of out 25 years marriage?
HE:?
Pastor: 15 times

He: What!
Pastor: There was no issue under the sun I did not have with my wife, from not being able to give her a son, to being complicit in the three miscarriages she had after our last daughter. i was always her scapegoat!
He: Jesus!
Pastor: But we always settled it:.

He: How?
Pastor: Come with your wife tomorrow
He came to see pastor with his wife
Pastor gave both of them a notebook each
Pastor: Instead of insulting each other, write whatever your partner did in the notebook and we will discuss it at the end of every month
They agreed

At the end of the month, they went to see the Pastor
Pastor: Hope you guys didn't have any verbal altercations last month
She: No sir
He: No sir
She: This is the notebook
Pastor opened it. It was full
Pastor: Where is your notebook?
She: He didn't obey you sir. He didn't use it

He: I tried but every time I wrote something in the morning, she would do something so good in the evening and I will see what i have written as preposterous. So i always end up tearing it up!
Pastor: (Turns to his wife) Did he do anything to make you happy in the last one month?

She: Yes. But you told me to write the things he did wrong and I did so
Pastor: Can you tell me one or two things he did that you love
She: So many sir
Pastor: Good. I gave you the books to teach you that we are quick to keep a record of wrongs and forget to keep a record of good

The couple understood
Their marriage is ten years old
They learnt from that day that it is better to dwell on the joyful moments than the fleeting moments of hurt.
Love thrives in an atmosphere of understanding, but wilts in an atmosphere of pain, hurt and bitterness