Thread by @KivaBay

One time my father said to me "do you really think fat people are happy" meanly and I realized he has never and will never read or respect my work. I've been kinda dealing with that insurmountable distance lately and what it means for me.

To be clear, I don't regret this. It just made me aware of many of his flaws. My father is well liked. Over and over I hear how lucky I am to have such a "cool" dad.

But he's always been kind of a jerk to me on reflection

He makes fun of me to his (very young and thin) female friends. He did it at a family party and something snapped in me. I marched out and told him off in front of everyone. He sulked like a kicked dog.

And I realized right then that the "cool" guy everyone thinks my dad is

Is just a selfish loser

I don't love my father anymore and that's weird

Thanksgiving was hard after that and was the last time I spent significant time with my father. He behaved so far outside the realm of okay that was it, that was the end for me

It's taken me about a year to process

I chose fat activism over my father. I don't regret it.

Anyway I think about this because he sent me a friend request on Facebook and has been languishing there unconfirmed and I think that's where he belongs. Somewhere in my past. Somewhere outside my life.

I think all this adds up to this: I don't know if I can give him any more chances. I feel like maybe he's realizing now that I'm done with him, and he wants another chance. I wish this were just the second or third chance. But it's not. This is my whole life with him.