Been thinking lately about the coach who got suspended from youth soccer because he put his hands on me and wouldn’t let go.
I calmly asked him to remove his hands and step away three times.
He told me to calm down.
When I finally started yelling, he acted like I was crazy.
I calmly asked him to remove his hands and step away three times.
He told me to calm down.
When I finally started yelling, he acted like I was crazy.
He did it in the middle of the field. Everyone saw it. And some of the dads on his side gave him a sympathetic eye roll when he finally walked away.
Like, lady coaches, amirite.
And then he lost his shit and screamed at kids and the ref and those same dads were screaming too.
Like, lady coaches, amirite.
And then he lost his shit and screamed at kids and the ref and those same dads were screaming too.
But we’ve known this all along. Men get to be mad. Women don’t. The social consequences are not the same.
I remember the moment he put his arm around me. I went absolutely stiff. He knew before I said a word that it wasn’t okay. And then he squeezed tighter as he talked over me.
I remember the moment he put his arm around me. I went absolutely stiff. He knew before I said a word that it wasn’t okay. And then he squeezed tighter as he talked over me.
And inside my brain was just pure, loud, HOW VERY DARE YOU.
But somehow I just calmly said “please don’t touch me.”
And then “I’m serious, we can talk but please take your hands off me.”
And again “I am asking you to remove your hands and take a step back.”
But somehow I just calmly said “please don’t touch me.”
And then “I’m serious, we can talk but please take your hands off me.”
And again “I am asking you to remove your hands and take a step back.”
And when I finally raised my voice and said “GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF MY BODY,” he raised his hands, and his eyebrows, and stepped away. And looked around like omg, get a load of crazy over here, yikes.
I laid into that guy, finger in his face, for like two full minutes.
Then I walked away, and apologized to all my players’ parents for saying fuck.
And one of the moms said “don’t you dare apologize for anything that just happened. Being polite wasn’t working.”
God yes. This.
Then I walked away, and apologized to all my players’ parents for saying fuck.
And one of the moms said “don’t you dare apologize for anything that just happened. Being polite wasn’t working.”
God yes. This.
Anger is your birthright, ladies. Don’t you dare apologize for it.
Don’t let anyone tell you you’re the crazy one, the emotional one, when you know damn well you’ve been holding it in for way too long.
When being polite isn’t working, it’s okay to raise your voice.
Don’t let anyone tell you you’re the crazy one, the emotional one, when you know damn well you’ve been holding it in for way too long.
When being polite isn’t working, it’s okay to raise your voice.
And shoutout to the parks dept for taking it seriously. The guy I reported it to in the office didn’t minimize it, and didn’t act like I was overly emotional when my voice was all shaky. His bosses emailed me to make sure I was okay and let me know what was being done.
