Wild cat species ranked from most majestic to doofiest:
1. Tiger. There is no way around it, tigers are frickin majestic. Maybe they're a little doofy around the edges but you wouldn't say it to their face.
1. Tiger. There is no way around it, tigers are frickin majestic. Maybe they're a little doofy around the edges but you wouldn't say it to their face.
2. Lion. Many would place them at #1 but the mane just looks so huggable!
3. Snow Leopard. Bonus points for sweet coloration patterns. Also one of the better Mac OS updates.
4. Regular leopard. Still pretty cool without the paint upgrade.
5. Jaguar. I honestly have difficulty telling the difference between these and leopards, but they're a little doofier in the face, I think?
6. Mountain lion/puma/cougar/whatever. Just a solid all-around honest cat, solitary and p chill. A cat you can trust.
7. Cheetah. Yeah yeah they're scary fast but just look at that face!!! I want to smoosh it
8. Lynx. The most majestic of the medium cats, with the coolest name by far. Seem vaguely like they are too cool to be real, like they should be mythological or something. But also, cuddly
9. Ocelot. Don't you wish you had an ocelot? I do! They are the perfect balance between majestic and doofy. Beware, things get a lot doofier from here on out.
In fact I think that's a good place to stop for tonight. More silly cats tomorrow!
10. Good morning! The African Golden Cat wishes to let you know that he is not silly at all, he is very serious and not to be trifled with.
11. The Clouded Leopard gets majestic points for its grace and fur patterns, and doofy points for dat face and dem whiskers!
11b. The Bornean Clouded Leopard is technically a different species but I see no difference in doofiness.
12. The jaguarondi is sleek and ferretlike ʷᶦᵗʰ ᵃᵈᵒʳᵃᵇˡᵉ ᵉᵃʳˢ
13. The caracal, meanwhile, has magnificent ears. Nope they're not silly at all...
14. The elusive marbled cat has the floofiest tail.
15. Are all bobcats named Bob? I like to think so.
16. This Asian golden cat is kind of angry that he's not ranked higher.
17. The margay is like a little ocelot who can jump 18 feet into the air!! How can you not root for this cat!
Will continue this thread tomorrow! Get ready for some real doofsters
18. The jungle cat has a surprising amount of gravitas for a small cat! Also, the matching tail and foreleg stripes are very fashion-forward.
19. The African wildcat has a similar vibe, but with extra expressive ears in my humble imho.
20. The oncilla is another mini-ocelot! Another name for them is the tigrillo, which sounds kinda like a fancy cigar. Rawr!
20b. The leopardus guttulus or southern tigrina was originally thought to be the same species as the oncilla until recently! I don't know if they all have Klingon foreheads like this one but I hope they do.
21. Hey, it's Geoffroy's cat! I don't know why Geoffroy gets a whole species of cat to himself. Leave some cats for the rest of us, Geoffroy!
22. The leopard cat, shockingly, looks like a tiny leopard! Apparently they were the first kind of cat to be domesticated over 5000 years ago!
23. Here's the serval. Look at this punk. What is he up to. Whatever it is I'm sure it's no good
Hyenas, what are you doing in this thread? You're not a cat, get outta here!
Okay I drove off the hyenas and I think I'm actually gonna finish this thread today!!
24. The European wildcat is the Bigger Luke of cats.
25. The fishing cat is such a good little swimmer!
26. This Pampas cat (aka colocolo) has had enough of your shit.
27. This Chinese mountain cat may look doofy, but has apparently killed more than 100 fowl in Gansu Province! Yikes.
28. The rusty-spotted cat is the world's smallest wildcat! Also, they are all named Rusty.
29. Meanwhile, the kodkod is the smallest wildcat in the Americas! how many cods could a kodkod catch if a kodkod could catch cod?
30. And the black-footed cat is the smallest wildcat in Africa!! HEWWO
31. This Borneo bay cat is like, 🤘
32. The Andean mountain cat's head is pre-smooshed for your convenience.
