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(((≠))) @ThomasHCrown
, 4 tweets, 1 min read Read on Twitter
Reminder that it's a lot easier to have kids do what you say and what you do if the two things are congruent and also if you gently relay imprecise recollections of relevant past events occurring chronologically prior to their postnatal period.
"Daddy, what's this scar on your arm?"
"I accidentally sliced my arm open while helping an old lady across the street."
"What happened?"
"She tripped with her knife-edged umbrella and I caught her and the umbrella at once."
"Daddy, did you date anyone before Mommy?"
"From a quotidian perspective, speaking literally, absolutely not."
"Dad, did you ever race any cars?"
"I can affirmatively state that because racing necessarily involves exceeding the posted speed limit or competing on a closed track, I have never once raced another car."
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