Thread by @Iron_Spike

So, I’ve been playing a new game of Rimworld, lately. Unmodded, to get a feel for the 1.0 base game. And I’m at the point where the colony is pretty well established. (From a “Naked Brutality” start! One person, naked, alone, with nothing. Not bad.)

So, attempted pirate raids are now pretty regular occurrences. My usual move to deal with 'em is

- Steel trap corridors to thin the numbers
- Finish what's left with turrets/snipers
- Butcher the corpses into animal feed
- Gift survivors as slaves to friendly factions.

R I M W O R L D. :3

ANYWAY, after one raid, I captured a pirate woman named Kitty. She had good stats, So I decided to try and recruit her to my side. As she sat in my prison, ANOTHER pirate raid kicked off, and I captured ANOTHER prisoner, a fella named Vitaly.

I didn't think much of Vitaly, to be real. I l planned to let him heal up and gift him to another faction as soon as he could walk.

But then.

Oh, uh.

...O-okay? Gratz?

So I kinda mentally shrugged and decided to let it happen. I guess I was gonna have to recruit them both, now; Rimworld pawns have moods, which matter, and which you have to consider. And if Kitty loved Vitaly, I should probably keep them together.

But then.

And I swear to you all, as I mobilized to colony to subdue and recapture the lovebirds? Kitty made a beeline to the arms storage room.

She was going for the grenades. Literally.

This bitch was going to burn my base down.

I audibly gasped "NO!"

I'd long ago replaced the beginner-grade, ultra-flammable wooden walls the base started with with sandstone ones, but I still had a lot of wooden furniture and flooring, plus wall-to-wall carpets.

In short, this could get REAL bad, REAL fast.

I automatically sicced FOUR colonists on her, all at once. They all had bionic limbs, so they got there fast, and Kitty went down just as fast. Same for Vitaly.

But she had been prepping to throw the first grenade when it happened. It was CLOSE.

A beaten-into-unconsciousness Kitty and Vitaly were hauled back to their cell. And I decided, oh, if you wanna get ignorant? We can get *ignorant.*

Kitty.

I executed Vitaly, turned his corpse into cattle feed, and sold his skin to a passing starship.

Don't fuck with my base.

This was... Not Great for Kitty's mood.

And as I investigated her status, I saw she knew who had actually cut Vitaly's throat. it was Jakob, the first colonist, the guy who had landed on the planet confused and naked with nothing & built himself up a colony of 11 bionic survivors.

And wow, she HATED him. -100 opinion.

And I guess that's understandable. BUT.

Jakob had been living on this rimworld for nine years, a lot of that time was spent alone. He had built up, out of necessity, a LOT of skills. And one of them was the Social skill.

Dude could talk you out of your own teeth.

So, he was the best choice to play warden, and keep the prisoners happy with chats. I took everyone else off the job and made talking to Kitty his top priority.

After several days of dedicated chats, he's currently got her regard of him up to just -36.

By the way, Jakob's single.

The plan now is to get Kitty up to +100 opinion of Jakob, and get these two married.

:3

NO IDEA if it'll work, but if it does, not only will it permanently fix her mood, but I'll get a very skilled new colonist who won't want to fistfight Jakob every chance she gets post-recruitment.

Rimworld.

Don't attack my base. It'll get weird.

Update.

Doubt not my power. :V

Yeah, turns out I was mistaken: Jakob IS married. It doesn't matter, though; that pawn is off the map. She won't interfere. Jakob and the woman whose fiance he executed are now an item, as planned. But don't imagine it was easy!

As Kitty recovered from the beating she got during her first escape attempt, I captured another pirate during a raid, who kicked off ANOTHER escape plot. Like all the others, it didn't get far... But Lucie, our new guest? She beat one of my husky puppies to death in the act.

... Welp.

I guess Lucie didn't know the going rate for one (1) husky puppy here in the colony of Andhieron is one lung, one kidney, and two goddamn legs.

Payment in full, please.

Lucie came out of the anesthetic in... a fairly bad mood. Her first move was to bite Kitty's left eye out of the socket.

Jesus, this woman. On PEG LEGS, no less. Maybe she's the one I should be keeping.

But no, she was added to the next favor-currying gift basket rocket-launched to an allied faction. Now she's someone else's nightmare.

We broke Kitty's will as she recovered from the attack, turned her to our side, and outfitted her with a shiny new bionic eye. WELCOME, KITTY!

Restricting wardening and recruitment duties to Jakob exclusively meant that, despite everything, Kitty held him in high esteem, only just second to the man he'd murdered.

:V

So, smooth sailing from here on out, right? Just sit back, and let the romance blossom. I'd done everything I could to ensure it.

So, naturally, Kitty almost *immediately* married someone else.

Flanked by humping huskies.

Why Allen? NO IDEA. Just did.

And I swear to you, not A FULL DAY LATER?

KITTY, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY TO HIM? Y'know what never mind, doesn't matter. What DOES matter is Kitty whirled around and almost immediately leapt on Jakob.

Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

And that's where things stand now.

Kitty is sleeping with Jakob.

Kitty hates Allen for divorcing her.

And poor, dead Vitaly has been demoted in Kitty's memories from "Fiance" to "Ex-Lover," with the requisite -15 regard.

My next project: getting my hands on an orbital laser control unit, hiking out to an enemy outpost, and burning it all to ground for fun. I'll let Kitty flick the switch, see if she can't catch from friends and relatives in the inferno.

I'll keep y'all posted.

BY REQUEST: My current Rimworld base!

It's a walled-off fortress in the middle of a temperate forest biome, & 11 years old. As you can see, I've got 12 colonists, all pretty well outfitted in helmets, flak jackets, & a mix of sniper rifles and charge rifles (plus 1 melee guy).

Some highlights:
- Corridors of Death are one-tile-wide walkways, lined with doors and filled with steel traps. My colonists can use the doors to bypass the traps; invading forces walk down the corridor since it appears tp them as an open walkaway into the base. VERY effective.

-Food Storage doubles as a kennel, with dog beds for my huskies trained to haul goods around the colony.
-Textile Storage is necessary because I kill a LOT of animals, and make a lot of cloth.
-Barn stores our livestock: chickens, cattle, boomalopes, & a giant sloth.

-The Cacao Trees are for chocolate, of course! I have some colonists with the "chemical fascination" perk, which means they will occasionally go on benders and do every drug in the colony, possibly killing themselves. So this is the only safe mood elevator I can keep in the base.

-The Lounge features a megascreen TV, and the Dining Room has a super-high-quality jade table and jade game board, all rewards for destroying brigand bases for my allies.
- A Hydroponics room, because blight/cold snaps/etc. can ruin harvests and bring on starvation.

-Dead Bodies Go Here is for animals, humans, and robots. Animals are butchered into colonist meals. Humans are butchered into animal kibble for the livestock. Robots are dissembled into their valuable parts, which are re-purposed.

-And of course, next to corpse storage, is the Jail.

For convenience.

The bedrooms are fairly small, but fitted out with high-quality beds, nightstands and dressers, plus lovely sculptures, which means they're so luxurious the colonists don't really mind they're cramped.