Some thoughts for a new year on why social media is often depressing, and how to live a better life. In the digital world, where we are all producers and consumers of that most prized 21st century commodity, attention, it has become difficult to distinguish work from leisure. 1
While becoming more distractible, we've become acquisitive of attention, wanting to receive but not give it. The attention economy of social media often feels like a pyramid scheme in which the majority of us are at the bottom, gazing enviously at those who inhabit the summit. 2
The big tech firms are in the process of monetising attention, and making us feel poor when we aren’t the recipients of it. In the real world, if you sit and give your undivided attention to one person, you get that attention back. There is a balance. 3
These are the interactions that give our life meaning and make us feel good. On social media, you send a statement out into the void and if you get one response you feel like you’ve failed. If you get a bigger response, you crave more. 4
Your desire to feel significant ends up feeling eroded rather than bolstered. Someone with 5,000 followers who also follows 5,000 looks like a low-status person fighting to sustain the appearance of importance. Someone with 5,000 followers who follows 20 looks like a player. 5
We are ranked not just by how much attention we get, but by how little we give in order to receive it. On social media, non-reciprocal attention is of higher value than reciprocal attention. This, of course, is an inversion of the values that are essential to a happy life. 6
Attention may have become a currency, but it is unlike any other, because we all have an infinite supply to give away. Never forget the value of giving, rather than receiving attention. 7
Switch off your phone, sit with someone you care about, give them your full attention, and you will feel truly enriched. Happy 2019, everyone!
