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Bards are a fuckin' weird-ass class
you need them for extremely specific circumstances like convincing a giant to eat itself and the rest of the time they are basically just a magical asshole
you need them for extremely specific circumstances like convincing a giant to eat itself and the rest of the time they are basically just a magical asshole
the Bard needs some money to pay for his girlfriend's haircut and extends a bottle of warm, funny-smelling, sloshing liquid, offering to sell you his last healing potion
except you already saw him drink his last healing potion that morning
except you already saw him drink his last healing potion that morning
in the middle of your careful explanation about looking for traps, you hear a faint sound from the urn holding the ashes of the king
the Bard is there
naked
sitting on it
the Bard is there
naked
sitting on it
the Bard contracts a disease from sleeping with a Bog Hag that makes him shit cobras that must be forcefully expelled
you are the healer
you are the healer
you learn the secret to breaking the curse over the kingdom is written in the scroll the Bard recovered in the tomb of ancients and find him in his room
smoking it
smoking it
the Bard attempts to persuade the enemy while high and fucks it up so bad he defects to their side halfway through
the Bard comes back to the inn from a night out and vomits up an entire pixie, gasping for breath
the Bard returns from his attempts to seduce the Orc Warlord and says things have changed, they fell in love and are getting married tomorrow
he wants you to give the speech at his wedding
he wants you to give the speech at his wedding
a trapdoor opens under your feet, the Bard catches you and keeps you from plummeting to the pit of spikes below. He asks why you never wore the friendship bracelet he made for you
his fingers start to slip
his fingers start to slip
@MykeCole lol
