Thread by @dianabutlerbass

With all that is happening in Virginia (where I live), I keep thinking about the difference -- and the relationship -- between sin and shame.

Sin is related to guilt. We do something wrong.

Guilt motivates us to understand what we do wrong, sins known and unknown, to face those things, ask forgiveness, and amend our lives.

Guilt and sin are about things we do.

Guilt is, as many have noted, "I did something bad."

Here's a long quote from Brene Brown about guilt and shame:

"I believe there is a profound difference between shame & guilt. I believe guilt is adaptive & helpful – it’s holding something we’ve done or failed to do up against our values & feeling psychological discomfort...

...I define shame as the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging – something we’ve experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection... (still the Brown quote)

...I don’t believe shame is helpful or productive. In fact, I think shame is much more likely to be the source of destructive, hurtful behavior than the solution or cure. I think the fear of disconnection can make us dangerous." (Brown quote)

There are, of course, different cultural renderings of guilt and shame. And that is a given. The current mess in Virginia, however, is wrapped in western, white Christian theology and culture.

Both Northam and Herring have mentioned shame -- or modeled it. They were ashamed of their actions so they hid them. That hiding meant denial, the sort of denial that keeps people from feeling whole -- and often impedes relationships with others.

There's not much of a spiritual toolkit in their traditions to deal with shame.

That's why (at least IMHO) the popularity of work like Brown's and the interest in 12-step spirituality in recent years.

But -- and here's the interesting part to me -- none of the statements (to my knowledge at least) -- has used the language of sin.

And that's what a Baptist like Northam or a Presbyterian like Herring need to be addressing right now. Sin. Sin and guilt.

They sinned. They are guilty. They did something wrong.

And, by extension, of course, so did their parents who raised them, the schools they attended, the friends who cheered them on, the world that taught them it was OK to do things like this.

The sin of racism. The same world most white people grew up in.

A very long time ago, a monk named Pelagius said that we sin because the environment in which we live was poison by generations of people who made terrible choices before we even can to be.

To not sin, one has to make different choices. And that's really hard. Because of that toxic environment.

Not sinning means to break the cycle. To understand that there's something else, something not toxic. Different choices are possible.

And necessary.

This understanding of sin and forgiveness is not shared by all Christians. Some think we're just "sinners from birth" and choice has nothing to do with it. I don't share that theology.

Anyway, these are a few reflections. I want the political leaders in Virginia to talk about the sin of racism, how we change this toxic environments we've inherited from the past, how white folks can learn to make better choices, and how we all can create a better future for VA.

I want them to stand up and face the sins that got us here. To seek forgiveness, reconciliation, and embrace a shared commitment for a Virginia of genuine equality and justice.

If they only feel shame, they become scapegoats for us. If we exile them, the "purity" of the village will be restored.

But the village has never been "pure." It has been poisoned by slavery and racism for 400 years.

So, shaming does very little in this case.

Except to drive the sin deeper, further into the trenches of denial. Where it waits, waits for another moment to focus the poison on a scapegoat or two.

The last thing that white folks need is another scapegoat. But what we do need is a robust understanding of the sin of racism, courage to face guilt, and practices of forgiveness and recompense.

And whatever shame we feel -- to deal with that in appropriate, live-giving ways in families, w/pastors, therapists, and trusted guides -- to free ourselves to do the hard work we need to do for the future. That our children & grandchildren can stop inhaling the poison.

*the Pelagius quote above should read "came to be," not "can to be."

“Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.”
― Brene Brown

So, white Virginia friends: Let's deal with sin and guilt. Let us know that we are capable of changing ourselves, seeing the past honestly, and contributing to a just and loving future.