Thread by @joss

A few thoughts on screenwriting:

First off, it’s important to remember that everything you write is going to be said aloud by an actor. And those guys are dicks, so make em work. Put “fishstick schism” in a speech three times. No punctuation. Put in some welsh.
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Writing tip #2:

Chekhov wrote: “if there is a loaded gun on stage in act one, make an announcement asking the person who left it there to remove it, so the players can get back to lamenting the dusk or whatever I was on about”
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Writing tip #3

If your screenplay does not contain the words “TIDAL WAVE OF LAVA”, what are you, even
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Writing tip #4

Real writers don’t need proof, readers

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Writing tip #5

Procrastination. Every writer does it. But you can take action to change that, and by action I mean murder. If you do a murder while you’re putting off writing, no one will call it procrastination, or a “procrastination spree”. Won’t even come up!
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Writing tip #6

You want your protagonist to be likeable. Have them turn directly to camera and say “Well I like YOU...” in a diffident yet vaguely menacing fashion. It will then be impolite for the audience not to respond in kind
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Writing tip #7: there’s a shorthand designed to make characters “pop” in scripts that I find genuinely offensive: “JACK, a hotshot attorney (think Tom Cruise) walks in.” NO. Waste of time. Just write “Jack RUNS SO FAST in.”
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