, 16 tweets, 4 min read Read on Twitter
When white people try to enter into conversations taking place in communities of color, they may be asked/told to leave or stop talking. This may feel rude to the white person. Understanding when we shouldn’t enter conversations requires cultural fluency. +
Cultural fluency on the part of white people also requires humility & self-awareness. If we’re told to “sit down” or “stay in our lane” or “no one asked for your opinion” we need to reflect on what we may have done that led to this outcome. +
We white people so are used to taking the space we feel we deserve and having our opinions paid attention to, that it doesn’t even feel to us like we’re taking up any more space than anyone else. +
Because our culture in the US has been created by and for and shaped by the needs and desires of white people, people from marginalized communities are sometimes looking for spaces where they can talk amongst themselves without the perspectives of white people. +
So when we white people enter into the conversations of people from marginalized communities, we may be perceived as barging into spaces where our opinions are not needed, and where our presence is compounded by and reinforces the power dynamics experienced every day by POC. +
Even if we white people feel we have something *very important* to share in any particular conversation, part of being culturally fluent is respecting that not all spaces and places are the right places for *me* (a white person) to be in all the time. +
But because I was brought up, as a white person, in a culture that was designed *for me*, I may not even recognize when I’m *barging in* because it doesn’t feel like that to me. I may need to be told: "this is not a convo for you,” or “please stop talking and listen."
If a person from a marginalized community tells me this, unless I’m prepared (culturally fluent), I take this suggestion as a violent rejection. (Double whammy for the marginalized person who was 1st barged in upon and then 2nd is accused of attacking a white person). +
So there’s a role for white people here. We need to be kindly but actively working with our white friends/colleagues to help them process what they are experiencing, what they are feeling, and what it *actually* means. +
This is not easy to do. Most people prefer non-confrontation to addressing issues head on. But teaching/learning does not have to be confrontational, though white fragility may make it feel like it is. +
But better we white people step up and work on this rather than further burdening already-marginalized people by either letting this behavior continue or expecting them to educate white people.
Some tools I am using to do this +
1. I talk about my own experiences as a white person, mistakes I make, how I react and learn.
2. I suggest white folks read @DebbyIrving Waking Up White. It was a revelation to me.
3. If they’re ready, I suggest they read DiAngelo’s White Fragility. +
@DebbyIrving Because of white fragility (the behavior, not the book) we need to tread lightly and with kindness, recognizing that helping the other white person to acknowledge their participation in what we’re not yet naming white supremacy will feel to them like a kind of violence.
@DebbyIrving But that’s OK because white people “barging in” is also a really serious violence with a centuries-long history. And we can’t change our behaviors unless we know what they are, where they come from, and what their impact actually is.
@DebbyIrving I appreciate when people call me in on mistakes I make, even though my first reaction is to be indignant, embarrassed, angry, and to make excuses. But I try to have those reactions quietly, not out loud, and to process and learn. +
@DebbyIrving And I can share this experience with other white people (we have this and so much else in common) and help them to process and learn as well.

OK end of sharing. I’m off to work.

Keep up the good work, everyone.
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