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Inventor of the Dishwasher: I HAVE CREATED SOMETHING THAT WILL MAKE ALL YOUR LIVES EASIER.
Humanity: WHOA. So we just put dirty dishes in and it cleans them?
IoDW: Um, no. You need to wash them first.
H: Uh...
IoDW: Not thoroughly. Just, like, what you'd do if you were drunk.
Humanity: WHOA. So we just put dirty dishes in and it cleans them?
IoDW: Um, no. You need to wash them first.
H: Uh...
IoDW: Not thoroughly. Just, like, what you'd do if you were drunk.
H: Okay, and then it gets the dishes SUPER clean though, right?
IoDW: Ha ha ha oh, god, no. Several of the dishes will still be dirty.
H: Right.
IoDW: Because you did not "pre-wash" them properly.
H: Before putting them in the machine that washes them.
IoDW: Yes.
IoDW: Ha ha ha oh, god, no. Several of the dishes will still be dirty.
H: Right.
IoDW: Because you did not "pre-wash" them properly.
H: Before putting them in the machine that washes them.
IoDW: Yes.
H: Okay. So I put all my dishes in here and-
IoDW: Not all your dishes.
H: Oh.
IoDW: Just the ones you don't really like. The others need to be hand-washed.
H: Okay.
IoDW: And you need special soap.
H: I can't use the same soap I use to handwash dishes?
IoDW: Ha ha ha no
IoDW: Not all your dishes.
H: Oh.
IoDW: Just the ones you don't really like. The others need to be hand-washed.
H: Okay.
IoDW: And you need special soap.
H: I can't use the same soap I use to handwash dishes?
IoDW: Ha ha ha no
H: So I load the dishes in and -
IoDW: The methodology of that will be a heated topic of debate. Wars will be waged. Relationships will end.
H: Because of how the dishes went in the machine.
IoDW: Some people put cutlery with the handles down. Some with the handles up.
IoDW: The methodology of that will be a heated topic of debate. Wars will be waged. Relationships will end.
H: Because of how the dishes went in the machine.
IoDW: Some people put cutlery with the handles down. Some with the handles up.
H: Surely it doesn't matter.
IoDW: You would think, wouldn't you?
H: But what if a friend comes over and wants to help uh, "load" this dishwasher?
IoDW: You cannot allow that.
H: I tell them that they can't help?
IoDW: You will say it kindly, but your voice will be steel.
IoDW: You would think, wouldn't you?
H: But what if a friend comes over and wants to help uh, "load" this dishwasher?
IoDW: You cannot allow that.
H: I tell them that they can't help?
IoDW: You will say it kindly, but your voice will be steel.
H: Why ... why did you invent this?
IoDW: To make life easier. And because I want you to remember that with every advancement comes sacrifice. To exist is to suffer.
H: Maybe I'll just wash them by hand.
IoDW: Sure. If you want to do it the hard way.
IoDW: To make life easier. And because I want you to remember that with every advancement comes sacrifice. To exist is to suffer.
H: Maybe I'll just wash them by hand.
IoDW: Sure. If you want to do it the hard way.
This is where I should probably link to a SoundCloud for my pet hamster's band or something, but she's on hiatus and it's a whole *thing* right now. So if you liked this, please consider buying my book. :)
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