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THE DEFINITIVE GUIDE TO AGILE
1. Every project is broken up into five phases: Disco, Alpaca, Beatings, Live, Regret
2. Every project has a Delivery Manager (DM) and a Product Manager (PM) who fuel the project through their mutual hatred and constant bickering
1. Every project is broken up into five phases: Disco, Alpaca, Beatings, Live, Regret
2. Every project has a Delivery Manager (DM) and a Product Manager (PM) who fuel the project through their mutual hatred and constant bickering
3. Everything is driven by user needs. User needs are not what the user wants but what they need. This is why users love agile as much as school children love PE.
4. Planning agile uses sprints. Every fortnight the DM releases leopards and the slowest team are eaten
4. Planning agile uses sprints. Every fortnight the DM releases leopards and the slowest team are eaten
5. Scalable agile is achieved by buying more post-it's and a larger wall
6. Every team has a burn down rate. This is the speed at which they can dispose of the evidence.
6. Every team has a burn down rate. This is the speed at which they can dispose of the evidence.
