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Today is my birthday. I’ve learned more in the last year than in any other year of my life. Here are some of the things I’ve been working on:
Becoming comfortable in my discomfort. I used to flinch away from all forms of discomfort: pain, uncomfortable conversations, boredom. Through meditation I’ve become more able to notice the feelings of discomfort I experience, and much more ok with simply sitting with them.
Cultivating non-attachment. Modern society is a trap that tricks us that if only we get X thing, we will finally be happy. X10,000 different things: jobs, possessions, likes, etc. Every day I re-learn that happiness doesn’t come from the extrovert world, it comes from inside.
Becoming the source of my own approval. I have always tried to source approval from others, desperately trying to make up for scarring from my childhood (of course that never worked). I’ve been reminding myself that I approve of myself 100%, and that I am enough the way I am.
Being joyful. Every conscious moment is a gift. Even the ones that society has trained you to fear or avoid. I want to deeply appreciate every moment for the miracle that it is.
Putting others first in my life. I’ve lived the first half of my life feeding my ego’s needs. I will spend the next half putting my community and family first. I now believe that true joy comes from the release of the self.
If the next year is as filled as this one has been with learning and deep connection to others, I have been truly blessed :)
