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For the second time in a year I’ve had to leave a gig because of being hassled by men in the crowd. Long thread ahead.
The first was a good few months ago. I was consistently teased and made fun of by a group of lads behind me. As I turned around to ask them to stop one of them was pretending to hump me from behind. This was at an indie show.
Afterwards I had a confrontation with a different one of the group. I called him out for laughing about me to his friend while stood right next to me. Over the last few months I’ve seen him at various other shows. He still tries to intimidate me and most of the time it works.
He came along to a gig I was running. We were sold out of tickets and I told him he couldn’t come in. He got aggressive and we ended up having a chat outside.
He told me the reason him and his friends were making fun of me that night was because I was at the front of a rock show and not moving. I was surrounded by a group of other female friends who also weren’t moving but they didn’t go after any of them.
Last night a man who was really high came up to front of the crowd and pushed past me. He bumped into me and a friend. I asked him to allow me to watch the show. He put his arm around me. I asked him again to leave me alone and stop touching me.
He then started playing with my hair. I left the venue and told someone I knew working there who pulled him out. I felt so horrible that I went home as I was too panicked to stay at the show.
When did people forget how to act in the world? Who could ever think they have a right to tell someone how to be at a gig or enjoy themselves? In both situations I dealt with these things on my own (the venue in the second scenario dealt with everything really well)
If you see someone who looks like they’re having a shit time at a gig - GO ASK THEM IF THEY’RE OK. If you see a guy being a dick to someone just check in and see if they need a hand.
I’m sure so many of you have similar stories and I’m sorry if things like this have ever happened to you. It feels like gig crowds are getting worse and worse to be in.
I want to be able to go see gigs. They’re my favourite thing in the world and mostly how I make my living. I'm starting to feel like I'll always have something shit happen when I step into a venue. I have become so reactionary and tense and anxious at gigs.
To try and end this on a positive note - BE KIND TO EACH OTHER AT GIGS. LOOK OUT FOR EACH OTHER. If you see someone that looks like they’re having a shit time reach out and ask them if they’re ok. We need to call out this kind of bullshit.
