Thread by @Realoilsheikh_

LOVE YOUR SPOUSES & HAVE AFFECTION FOR THEM 😍 💕 💏

1/ Among the greatest aims of marriage is that a legal avenue is provided for two hearts to love, have affection & compassion for one another. This is the framework on which marriage life should be built.

[Surat Room 30:21].

2/ in his Tafseer of the above verse, al-Hafiz Ibn Katheer (RH) said:

Affection means love & compassion stands for kindness. A man keeps a woman either because he loves her or for the compassion he has for her bcos of the long standing & children Allah Has blessed them with.

3/ For instance, *Sex changes as we age.* There is no point in denying that. Everything changes as we age, doesn’t it? Your breasts are not as firm as they were. Your skin may be not as smooth as it was. The sexual organs ofcourse would not be as effecient is they used to be.

4/ Both men & women lament the loss of youth & the accompanying loss of firm skin, rock-hard erections, copious lubrication, boundless energy, & raging libidos. You would be more than human if you didn't sigh for the body you once had & the heights of passion you once reached.

5/ But these are changes that you should not worry about, because they are natural & will never come back. The way she can't have such standing breasts you once wished for, such you cant have a very standing phallus you were once proud of, & she also once liked. That is life.

6/ Most healthy adults are able to lead active, satisfying sex lives into their 60s, 70s, & 80s. Making love takes approximately as much energy as walking up two flights of stairs, an achievement most of us are capable of accomplishing into very old age. But not as we want.

7/ Thus, when the Noble Prophet (SAW) advised us with regards to marriage, he de-emphasised marrying a women for her beauty, because it fades one day, & all the body parts that pushed you to her would become normal to you, & they will eventually go down. Natural law of life.

8/ Equally, when he (SAW) was recommending for our sisters husbands to marry, he said, "If someone whose religion & morals comes to you & you are satisfied that he has good faith & morals, then marry him". He didn't say handsome or strong, bcos they will one day go.

9/ Beyond just love, which in most cases is attached to one thing or another, affection & compassion are two necessary virtues that we must carry along for a successful marital life. When you ve compassion for her, you won't hurt her the slightest, you won't allow harm reach her.

10/ One of the greatest means of attaining happiness & cheerfulness is, according to the Salaf very easy:

A cheerful face & a gentle word.

As a husband, try to adopt this simple formula when dealing with your wife. Be gentle wirh words, & have a cheerful face towards her.

11/ As a wife too, hold a cheerful face anytime you are with your husband & hold gentle words.

You will win his heart forever. He will hurt when you are hurt. He will cry, when you are sad. He will do everyrhing to hold you even if it is the last thing he would do.

12/ Shaykh Ibn Sa’di (RH) said:

Good deeds & acts of obedience that are done for the sake of Allaah cannot be equal to bad deeds & sins that earn His wrath and displease Him. Kindness towards others cannot be equal to mistreatment of them.

13/ Don't be a lion 🦁 outside & be a 🦁 at home. Be as soft as anything while you are inside, & hold your bravery & hard self outside. You don't need to be hard to earn her love & compassion. She is soft, & you can get to her heart in a softer way. Same goes to the woman.

14/ You cannot earn your husband's love by being unnecessarily hard, stubborn & disobedient. You can get into his heart in a soft way. He is weaker than he appears. We are all weaker than we appear. You can get whatever you want from us when you come to us in the best manner.

15/ May Allaah enrich our hearts with love, affection & compassion towards one another.

May Allah bless those of us that aren't married yet wirh thr best spouses, & may theirs be among the best.