2. Raised by active military — remember that these men are raised with rigid, old-school gender norms. In order for “woman” to be a vacation, there must be a distance to travel.
“I remember dreaming/fantizing what it would feel like to have satin on my skin… the journey began.”
“when ever I got the chance I would go into which ever girls room I was near and find some nice soft panties.”
He expresses no guilt about these violations.
5. Military man — He sees the world as properly being populated by G.I. Joes and Barbies, with little interest in anything in between.
It’s a mistake to see these men as truly gender-non-conforming. They’re the OPPOSITE.
They don’t want to be gnc men. They’re defensive and shameful of the very idea. No. They’re enacting how they believe women should ideally present themselves, and it’s NOT gnc.
6. Desisted or experienced decreased interest in high school and early college (enlistment in this case).
Very common for AGPs, who are usually at least mid-20s before they begin to identify as women. Gay men do this younger.
7. Habit solidifies into addiction.
8. The “woman within” modeled after a real, unattainable woman. An AGP’s “femme” self is a combination of women he knows as well as sexualized archetypes from when he was maturing sexually.
This fetish has some motivators similar to necrophilia, or “drugged/asleep” porn, or sex dolls. He wants to possess and play with the woman of his dreams, but on his own terms, and in a context with no emotional risk.
How better to accomplish that than “become” her?
Pause first to appreciate the projection of him saying he doesn’t want to hurt HER feelings by asking her out, which, unless I missed something, clearly could only hurt his.
9. So important to pay attention here, because he’s creating a “woman” who’s absolutely not human. He loves her because she ISN’T a whole human woman - they’re the kind he avoids, choosing instead to dress and adorn and make love to “his” Jennifer.
Why so crucial: Because these men go on to say they know they feel how a woman feels and want to live “as women.”
How the hell would they know?? They build a fantasy out of panties & wigs, create a play personality for her, all in accordance with their male desires.
They do this for DECADES, but are so deeply sure of the reality and goodness of cultural gender — as such existed in their childhoods — that they feel they know enough. Anything observed in women that doesn’t fit is written off as being for the “wrong kind” of woman.
10. When a relationship with a woman develops, he idealizes her, “creating” her much like he did “his Jennifer.” For a time, he can control his urge to dress.
Just pausing here to acknowledge how incredibly creeped out this makes me feel. It’s been 15+ years, and he still sees her this way.
11. It’s not explicitly stated, but erectile dysfunction is common in these men after the honeymoon period.
12. Enough time in the relationship for his wife to become a real person means he must return to his addiction, that perfect woman, his proxy.
13. We’re a good 20 YEARS into his “playing woman” career, and it’s still pretty much just underwear and masturbation.
AGPs are NOT holistic in their sense of “woman.”
14. He’s depressed. His only coping mechanism, crossdressing, isn’t working anymore. But he doesn’t think to look at the WHY of it, only how he might get his hands on MORE of it.
(rubbing my eyes)
15. I hardly know what to say about this, except to mention that these men have NO self-awareness when it comes to the misogyny and sexism in their views.
They have no idea of what a woman is. None.
16. Pedestal. Again. Women aren’t people to him. They’re Madonnas & whores, clothes & makeup.
Our “glory” isn’t something you buy in a catalogue or apply with a brush.
This is damn insulting, but it gets much worse...
17. Notice that he describes his “inner woman” first in terms of her sexuality. (cont.)
The first thing he must define to us is her orientation. This is both because he must assure us that HE isn’t gay (homophobia everywhere in this crowd), and also because he is most excited about the prospect of sex and relationships with women AS a “woman.”
And he “looks at” the “gay women” and decides he’s like them. This works on the assumption that he UNDERSTANDS them, which he doesn’t. If he actually looked at all, he’d notice, for example, that we spend very little time amassing lingerie and high-heeled shoes.
They stay so convinced they’re really like lesbians. They create a MALE FANTASY of a woman — the last way one might wisely approach figuring out what a lesbian is — and call it good.
Because it’s about being the ideal woman, and she doesn’t dare correct a man.
18. Translation: He won’t stop until he transitions.
But I don’t see him telling his wife anytime soon. He’ll try to have children with her first. Then he’ll see if she’ll be a lesbian for him.
19. I could write an entire long thread about how these men will support each other emotionally in these CD online spaces. It’s fascinating; I rarely, if ever, witness this among men in real life, and NEVER among old-school military men.
They’re LESS “one of the girls” than most men, because they believe we can be built.
If THIS is the thing that led him to believe he’s a woman — how can we take that seriously? How can we insult women by acting in agreement?
How can we force women and children to take him into their trust?