Thread by @VVOMkhize

Blessed Sunday morning to you all. Today I’d like to take the time to speak on Ilobolo. It’s a great example of how lack of knowledge and understanding can result inappropriate application of our custom.

In the olden days most abamnumzane wanted their daughters to be taken by families with many cattle so that he can get more, and also as a guarantee that his daughter won’t starve emzini. So during those days people use to charge whatever number of cattle for ilobolo.

This process of paying lobolo with no fixed number of cattle, was revisited by Sir Theophilus Shepstone known as USomtsewu ka Sonzica, who actually saw this tradition as an exploitation and he then fixed the number of cattle to (11), hence today we have lobolo as eleven cattle.

These cattle are a sign of pride and showing that ‘your daughter will never starve when she joins the family.’ It is ubumnumzane of the umkhwenyane’s father, that we are not that poor.

Secondly, it is a token to the Amathongo (ancestors) that isibaya is growing, and as it grows it will create strong umuzi for them (amathongo). That is why these cows have various names and meaning. They are as follows:

1. Ubikibiki – This cow is given to the mother by umkhwenyana.

2. Ubhaqa – The cow given to the umakoti’s father in order to light the way

3. Umqholiso/Ingquthu – The cow given to the mother of umakoti.

4. Umumba – Cow also given to the Makoti’s mother, but part of the ilobolo

5. Imvulamlomo/Ingqaqhamazinyo – cow given to the father in order for him to talk to the abakhongi (people sent to pay lobola)

6. Imvula –the cow that gets mentioned first before even paying the ilobolo.

8. Inhlabisamthimba – the cow that gets slaughtered on the wedding day

9. Isibhoma – cow that also get slaughtered on the wedding day.

10. Ibheka – additional cow.

(these cows in some other areas are all collectively called AMABHEKA)
The other two cattle just accompany these cows; hence we say (Umakoti akaqedwa).

That is why people do not pay all the ilobolo, because of the belief that one day umkhwenyana will be of help to the family (umkhwernyana isiphuzi sokuhquzula)

WHAT IS NOT ILOBOLO ?

All the time when we talk of ilobolo, we always confuse it with Izibizo. Izibizo is just what the mother wants from umkhwenyana, and it has no prescription, but the mother uses her own discretion. It is the conversion of the inkomo called Ubikibiki.

Today most people call these izibizo ubikibiki, which is the main cause of confusion. Once umkhnwnyana has paid these cows, he can request for the date for the wedding. We must therefore never confuse ilobolo, which is cows and izibizo.

Ilobolo is not a gift or thanking to the parents of the daughter for raising her up. Education and upbringing cannot and must not affect the price. You were doing your parental duties out of love and responsibility not with the hopes of reimbursement.

This concludes part one of the thread.
Part 2 will involve process, slaughtering of animals and participation of the elders.

Part 3 will be Umgcagco - a detail breakdown of the custom, how it’s done and how to recognise when it’s done improperly.

Finally it is important to remember that these cows do not have a fixed price. They can vary but most important to remember is to work with the husbands budget. It is unfair and selfish to force them to pay a price beyond his means. Don’t let them start on a negative balance.