Thread by @Hejeoma

#Thread #RandomMusings

1. I wan throw stone for inside market, anybody e meet na you sabi! You get shop for Banex plaza, 25 June 2014 your customer call you for phone say e dey near your place weder you dey? You been no dey around as you rush go do something for Gwarinpa, na em

2. you tell your customer say make e chill say you dey come. You drive speed make you for reach meet customer collect money only for you to reach near first forty hotel bomb go off for banex. That your customer die for the blast, one of your neighbors wound seriously for the

3. blast. If no be flat tyre wey you get as you dey comot Gwarinpa, you for waka enter the blast. Today, na you dey for twitter dey insult Army, DSS & current government wey don try make sure say that kain thing no ever happen inside Abuja again? You dey now wan show dem how best

4. to fight insurgency? Baba kwayet your mouth there! Na all of us them been dey search that year before we enter church! Fear no even gree some people go church that year! Dem convict your papa cos of money wey him loot for government. Your granpapa face panel cos of

5. impersonation, over 50% of your family empire na from state & federal treasury yet you dey social media dey yarn opata? Kwayet that your mouth wey be like wetin rat die put! You dey government when Jamb no fit remit one single kobo to FGN. You dey government when dem dey

6. change senate president like where woman dey change sanitary pad (use & troway), today na you now sabi how best to run government?Today you dey use the story for snake wey swallow money dey mock government dey form like say no be under your watch e happen? As e be now,

7. nothing wey anybody talk you wan hear because you see yourself say na only you get solution to Nigeria problem? Baba shetap your mouth! Forget all that degree or sense wey you think say you get! Anything wey you think say you sabi, e get those wey no go the school wey sabi am

8. pass you! Na una dey government when una unbundle Nepa share am among una selves, family & friends. Na una no gree make prepaid meter reach all of us. Today na una dey open that una stinking mouth dey come dey tell us say government is failing because light no dey? Thunder

9. scatter your dentition there! Your papa serve for military reach rank of General! E no go see how battlefront be, instead e pack all of una go overseas. The cheapest motor wey you dey drive na Gwagon meanwhile you no get work wey you dey do. Government hold your papa for

10. blokos and since e don vomit reach N1bn wey e thief as defense money and you get mind come here dey talk say war on corruption na scam? Aswear na your entire generation be scam! Na una dismantle Amaraku power station sell all the equipment's! Na una scatter Nigeria airways,

11. Nitel, etc. Na una plus una family dey government, bata, lennards, peugeot, gongoni, gaskiya textile mills, shour gallery & plenty plenty companies wey full all of Lagos, kano, kaduna etc fold! People lose jobs! Na una float banks wey una use scam people billions, we sleep

12. wake up we no see bank again! That thing follow make my mama no every get herself until she die! Some people don come dey yarn me say make I take am easy say I suppose dey yarn small small. Look make i tell una, Naija never good! Poor man still never know how e wan manage if

13. serious sickness come. Me sef know how I take borrow when my mama sick die! Till date I never get myself cos the matter hit me hard financially. Generator for my house breakdown beyond repair I no see money to take buy another! Na God know as we take maneuver. E get times

14. wey I dey do opportunity cost before I spend ordinary N50,000! Dem don invite me for function where dem send money for flight & accommodation, I respect myself enter God is Good, when I reach Abuja I go sleep for my inlaws them house. All because I dey gather money to take

15. pay children school fees. So I no fit come here come say Nigeria don suddenly good but I no fit forget say I wake up one morning na so tap stop to run for ikenegbu & aladinma for owerri. Like play like joke na so pipe borne water matter end for Imo state sorte all man begin

16. sink borehole! As my children dey now, dem never ever see tap run wey no be say we pump water from borehole, dem no sabi wetin be pipe born water from water board! I no go forget say tanker explode for Apapa na so people begin dey call me for phone say dem hear say bokoharam

17. attack Lagos. I tell them say na lie say na tanker, sorte one uncle even post for facebook say i dey lie say na bokoharam but Lagos government dey cover am. Which kain bokkoharam when I pass from there as i dey come back from work? No be near my office again? I no fit

18. forget say some of us do 5 years for university for 4 year courses all because of ASUU strike! I no fit forget say Nigeria no been don ever better for my life time! get say some of us do 5 years for university for 4 year courses all because of ASUU strike! I no fit forget

19. say Nigeria no been don ever better for my life time! So no come here come begin form like say anything wey we dey see today start just 4 years ago! Make una wey follow spoil country, una mama, papa, brother, uncle, sister etc wey follow scatter this country shut up una dirty

20. mouth there! When people dey complain about Nigeria or dey proffer solution, make una seat am out! Una been get the chance but una fuck up! Make una kwayet that una yeye mouth wey una use dey swear for Nigeria say Nigeria no good, say Nigeria dey scatter! Nothing wey Nigeria

21. dey see today wey we never see times 10! Nothing wey we dey see today wey una no follow cause! Nigeria go sick finish, Nigeria go well! If una insist say una must talk, no worry people wey go carry mirror put for una face show una the hypocrisy too many! Make I speak like

22. Wwerri people; onye obula kwuru na Naijiria agaghi adi nma, onye ahu chikota akpa kwa ra li! It translates thus Anybody wey talk say Nigeria no go better, make e pack em bag geddiffock out!

Una happpy independence.