When people find out I have 7 kids they pity our parental work load. I argue that with the exception of the first 3 years, more kids means less parental time. I rarely win the argument. Let me explain it in more detail.
Most believe that the number of parental challenges is a function of the square of the number of kids you have. But they are wrong. The more kids you have the more they raise each other.
Humanity evolved in large families. What we now experience in the OECD, birth rates way below 2.1 that is needed for population not to decline, has never occurred before. So most parents who speak to me have 1 or 2 kids and are exhausted because they are all the kids have.
What we see, is that the more children we have, the less work we have to do as parents after the age of 3. One child wants your undivided attention, 3 or more rarely want you involved at all. Think of school yards, what is the teacher student ratio during school breaks?
The confusion parents of 1/2 kid families have comes from never experiencing "sibling cooperation". 40% of families now have no kids or 1, the rest mostly have 2. So here's the revelation. Kids seek fun and entertainment from other kids, and the more you have the less you do.
In large families kids only seek parental attention because they are either under the age of 3, or they are facing a particularly frustrating or unusual situation that an older sibling can't solve. The more kids you have the more rare these situations are.
During summer holidays when we are the most family members together the less work we do. Having young and older kids is like having kids and helpers. They adore their older siblings, they go to the beach with them, they organize activities.
Sad that in developed nations with imploding birth rates we have turned parenting into what mostly used to be interaction among siblings into interaction with parents who pretend to be kids so their kids feel they have other kids.
My recommendation for parents with one or two kids is to socialize heavily with other parents with kids of the same age and let those kids "raise" each other. Let kids be kids with other kids. Siblings are instant, ever present friends.
