My nephew turns two soon, and he’s starting to speak quite a bit. His go-to phrase is “oh no!” He uses it in pretty much every situation, and I’m starting to come around to the wisdom of it.
“Time to meet everyone!”
“Oh no!”
“Wanna go out?”
“Oh... no?”
You get the idea. 1/
“Time to meet everyone!”
“Oh no!”
“Wanna go out?”
“Oh... no?”
You get the idea. 1/
So I’m at a dinner party with my family.
An elderly gentleman comes up to me.
He nods. “Hello.”
My nephew is going to town on some cupcakes while I’m holding him in my arms. His mouth is too full to say anything, but I just KNOW he wants to say “oh no!”
“Hi,” I say back. 2/
An elderly gentleman comes up to me.
He nods. “Hello.”
My nephew is going to town on some cupcakes while I’m holding him in my arms. His mouth is too full to say anything, but I just KNOW he wants to say “oh no!”
“Hi,” I say back. 2/
“You are Afzal’s son, yes?”
I nod. “Yes, I am.”
The elderly man’s eyes narrow. “The doctor?”
I nod again. “Yes. My sister is also a-“
“Excellent!” He cuts me off. “I am so OBLIGATED to meet you!”
I’m confused. Obligated?
“Uh... it’s good to meet you too, sir.” 3/
I nod. “Yes, I am.”
The elderly man’s eyes narrow. “The doctor?”
I nod again. “Yes. My sister is also a-“
“Excellent!” He cuts me off. “I am so OBLIGATED to meet you!”
I’m confused. Obligated?
“Uh... it’s good to meet you too, sir.” 3/
“I must say doctor, I am excruciated to know you. I have some questions, and I am hoping you can levitate my concern!”
As he talks, I notice the elderly man has a young woman standing beside him. She smiles apologetically at me.
My nephew is staring bemusedly at them both. 4/
As he talks, I notice the elderly man has a young woman standing beside him. She smiles apologetically at me.
My nephew is staring bemusedly at them both. 4/
“Uhh, I’ll do my best to answer your questions, but I-“
“Excellent!” He cuts me off... again. “I have the vertigo. It is a painful affliction that is enticing my entire persona. I am wondering, is there a treatm-“
“Alright grandpa!” The young woman comes to my rescue. 5/
“Excellent!” He cuts me off... again. “I have the vertigo. It is a painful affliction that is enticing my entire persona. I am wondering, is there a treatm-“
“Alright grandpa!” The young woman comes to my rescue. 5/
“He’s not that kind of doctor, he’s a kidney doctor.” She gently takes his arm as if to guide him away, but he is on a mission.
“I know he is a kidney doctor, but the kidneys are for the balance, right? That is what you told me!”
“No grandpa, not that kind of balance!” 6/
“I know he is a kidney doctor, but the kidneys are for the balance, right? That is what you told me!”
“No grandpa, not that kind of balance!” 6/
The elderly man seems disappointed in me, and sighs. He shrugs, and nods farewell. “Very well, doctor, it was my utmost perusal to meet you.”
I nod in return, with a smile. “The... uhm... perusal was all mine sir.”
As the elderly man turns to leave, it happens.
Disaster. 7/
I nod in return, with a smile. “The... uhm... perusal was all mine sir.”
As the elderly man turns to leave, it happens.
Disaster. 7/
He collides with another partygoer who isn’t paying attention to where they’re going.
Almost in slow motion I see a drink in a hand go airborne. The elderly man falls backwards. The young woman gasps.
Silence for a second, before my nephew seizes his chance...
“OH NO!” 8/
Almost in slow motion I see a drink in a hand go airborne. The elderly man falls backwards. The young woman gasps.
Silence for a second, before my nephew seizes his chance...
“OH NO!” 8/
Mercifully the elderly man is okay. He pops back up on his feet, no worse for wear. He assures everyone that he is “perpetuated” nicely, not to worry.
My nephew returns to stuffing his already round cheeks with more cupcake.
Priorities, I guess.
Less talking.
More cupcake.
My nephew returns to stuffing his already round cheeks with more cupcake.
Priorities, I guess.
Less talking.
More cupcake.
